Thursday, June 13, 2013

The Chronicles of Claude II

Well that was easy. I may have wrecked my langoruni doing so but it was easy. I rammed the pimps car as hard as I could and kept driving into it until it flipped over and exploded.

Seriously, the fuck? They just explode when upside down...must be a safety feature or something. I then took my heavily damaged car and drove over the one who escaped the burning twisted wreckage that was his car and partner. Problem was I ran into a pole...and my lamborguni caught on fire and ran my ass off. Its okay though, I borrowed a plymouth prowler from a near by citizen. Its a nice smooth ride, much easier to drive than the lambo...but not nearly as fast. RIP lamborguni, I will remember you until I visit that dealership again.

I guess I will go back to Luigis, I just sent misty to joeys earlier this morning.
Well Luigi is no yelling at me thats nice...wait what? He wants me to deliver hookers to a policemans ball? The fuck is wrong with this guy. This is not going to work

I cant believe that fucking worked? What the hell is wrong with this place? The cops are just as bad as the criminals.

But you know what I like those girls, did not say a word, just let me listen to my music and drive.

I hope that they had a fun night. Im going to head back to the strip club to see if Luigi needs anything done, its getting kind of late.

The fucker said he didnt need me for anything at the moment, this sucks. I liked how easy this job was, drive hookers and run over people. I doubt Joey is awake at this hour, I may as well call it a night.

I decided to leave the prowler at home and go see Joey. Misty is still here, what the fuck? He hasnt fucked her yet?


What is wrong with this place. Anyway he tells me to go steal some guys car and rig it with a bomb. That is a good way to eliminate someone without getting to close or dirty, I kinda like it. Turns out 8 ball has a bomb shop and he can rig this for me, that fucker had to be at that strip club for fucking days.

A pity, a benz SL500, gorgeous car went up in smoke with this fat ass. Oh well mission completed...I kinda wrecked that VW I stole to get to joeys, I ought to find another ride...

M3? You will do. Im supposed to off some drug dealer in china town. Seriously, this Joey guy is only having me go after bad guys, is he a criminal or vigilante? and why has he not fucked misty yet. WHAT THE HELL.

Well this guy didnt go down to hard...he doesnt take well to being run over. I just rammed his car until he got out of it then ran his ass over...however once again I may have blown up my car, goodbye M3. Nice Passat...Ill take it.

Joey has a nice job for me. Ram a payroll van until the driver leaves then steal it, Could be fun.

That was seriously the easiest fucking thing ever. I just ramed and went, a smash and grab if you will. I think joey has some more things for me but I want to look into that marty character and investigate a strange pager message I just recieved...seriously how the fuck do people get this number?

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