Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Alot of shit that should have been posted months ago

Todays issue will focus on love, relationship (doesnt it always) as well as objectifying women (which it should do more often)

Love, strong word. It should not be used lightly and honestly I dont think anyone knows the real definition of it.

A few weeks ago there was a post rampaging all over facebook. It was about a guy, who was not sure if marriage was for him and he was generally unhappy with the relationship. He asked his father for advice and he said that marriage is never for you; its for your wife.


My god, I never thought about relationships that way. It makes sense, you dont date someone for you, you should be doing it for them doing it to make them happy.

This is no clearer present than my bro from university, my old neighbor. This fucker is dating this girl, and before her he had a bad relationship (seriously makes mine look like some high school break up) and was a bit of a womanizer as a result.

Then he met her, and he started to slowly change for the better, for her.

She puts him through such shit sometimes, and I dont think she sees the relationship in the way I just stated. It seems to me that it is all about her, her issues, her lack of trust, her breaking up with him her pushing him out of her life.

You know what, this dumb ass keeps her. He keeps trying to make it work, to the point where it is almost self destructive.

Thats love in a way I have never seen or felt in my life, he is literally willing to sacrifice everything for this woman because he loves her.

As foolish as I think that is I admire him for that, Im not sure if I could do that

The love bomb should not be used lightly, and in this case he deserves to use it. He puts up with shit that I am not sure if I would for her.

Speaking of which I think I may watch about last night, it looks hilarious.

Warning: Im about to be a huge fucking hypocrite but this needs to be said.

Why do we over analyze things? My god, maybe its facebook.

Actually, it seems that women were responsible for this one.

My buddy posted something on facebook, to congratulate one of his students for passing a test and becoming one step closer to being a pilot.

Now: He did post the test, that is kinda private information BUT


a) the student passed, so there thats a thing

b) it was awfully hard to make out what the paper actually read other than pass

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE FIRST THING SOME PEOPLE SAID (in this case the person was female)


Seriously. What. The. Fuck.

Any non pilot would read this and see a pilot test and think nothing of it.
Any other pilot should have been excited for his student and excited for him He is one step closer to becoming a higher ranked instructor and he is becoming a better pilot all the time.

Now I understand, there was a breach of confidentially here but that was not the point. The point was genuine excitement and pride for his student.

and you fucking ruined it by over analyzing it and taking it the wrong way. I read the comments out of curiosity because it seemed the guy was defending his actions, and I am disappointed in the girls who were unimpressed with him.

When I was going to school with them, they seemed pretty chill and awesome. It seems so stupid of them to think that this guy (who may be one of the most bad ass mother fuckers I have ever met) would do something like that. Its hard for him to be mean, no matter what. Shame on you people for killing his high and wanting to scream to the world from the top of a mountain that his student is fucking awesome. But he didnt have a mountain so facebook will have to be enough.

Like most people, unless Im flying then I would be happier.
Hell people can probably ruin flying as well, bosses who do not see what you see, customers who think they know it all and worst of all, corporate/administrative dick fucks who havent seen the out side of a cubicle in hours.

Maybe the issue isnt the job, its people and how they dont get along well in the work place.
Why is that, my old roommate put up with tonnes of shit from me.
Families put up with each others shit

Why is it we feel obligated to put up with our girlfriends shit when it may just be easier to go out, find a slut and get laid.

What is it that drives us to put effort into making these relationships smooth, and why cant we transfer it to the work place?

Do NOT give me the tired excuse. Generally speaking you wake up and work (because you dont want to be tired at work)
you pretend to be pleasant and respectful at work, but secretly everyone hates and doesnt trust each other and rarely does the right hand know what the left hand is doing.

Now after all this shit, we are in an awful spot coming home because now we have to deal with the people we like and keep this relationship positive.

Maybe thats the thing, coworkers dont like each other. They dont have to, they just work together.

I think the pretending to like each other and get along with one another is exhausting, which is why people dont like work.

On top of the fact that
a) they may not like their jobs they
have to
b) do the same shit every day
c) pretend to like and get along with their coworkers
d) politics
e) incompetent coworkers

my god work is exhausting. We are not paid enough to deal with that shit.

But there is ways around this
Remember it is only work, you are there to do a job, do it well and get paid
Do not trust your coworkers, they are your coworkers and only that
Your time with your coworkers ends when you punch out.

You should try to keep your work and not work life separate, specifically the negatives.
If you had a fight with your wife/family/friends ect, when you punch in that doesnt matter and for a few blissful hours you do not need to worry about it. The same thing goes to work, when you punch out all the shit at work stays at work and now you have a few blissful hours at home.

Keeping these things separate will improve your not at work life and your work life. If shit starts spilling over into one spot or another it will make work and home worse, because your work affects your home life which affects your work life ect ect ect

I am sworn to secrecy by my honour, but let it be known that I wrote this when I saw alot of shit being done wrong at my former work place and since I left this shit has hit the fan and it sounds like a mess. With one exception I think I may stop all contact with them because I do not wish to be dragged into the middle of this anymore.

I need to get flying.

And the air cadets need to stop, I am subscribed to the save air cadet gliding because it amuses me.
Now truth: I was in air cadets, I did do the power flying program.

However because of bad weather I did not finish the program. Literally 2 flights, my long solo cross country and my flight test.

The air cadets would not help me finish flying, I had to do that on my own paid for by my parents. So forgive me if I do not have any nostalgic connection to this organization.

On top of all this, they kept promoting family members and friends of officers to the point where I stopped trying the promotion exams and just left the building to try and get into sluts pants.

They had a problem with my attitude, but never told me what was wrong or how to fix it.

They were angry at me for something because one of the officers kids said I did something that was not true and did not try to figure out what actually happened.

They are happy with mediocrity (which as you know) angers me. They teach leadership. You cannot be taught how to lead, you either can or do it or not. IF you can then develop it, if you cant do something else.

Finally they are a representative of canada during the second world war, WHEN THE CADETS WERE PREPARING YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN FOR WAR.

When they graduated cadets they would have the skills and knowledge they needed to become killing machines praying for war.

They served a purpose. Now they are just boy scouts, teaching neat and sometimes useful skills to people who are hoping to never need to use them.

The armed forces are paying for the cadets, to be run by a bunch of civilians, and it is filled with kids now who you cant discipline at all. Because if they do not do well, it is the teachers fault. That mentality carries over from school to cadets.

Fan fucking tastic.

And at the end of it the kids get some money for college if they want, but the armed forces get nothing.


They pay for the stuff, they pay the civilians to pretend to be officers and what do the cadets give them in return


very few cadets actually go into the armed forces, and in the case of the air cadets even fewer.


So the flying part of air cadets is pointless, in the civilian world they will reteach you because the cadets have a reputation of being quickly pushed through even when they should not be and the military always retrains you.

In the civilian world former cadet pilots are awful, because you need to unteach all the mistakes made by a new instructor whose first students (around these parts anyway) were probably cadets, then unteach all the mistakes the cadets have been learning because they have been flying incorrectly without instructor guidance after they got their wings.

Do not tell me this is bullshit, I was a cadet, I started my ppl with cadets. Then went to a civilian flight school, then became a flight instructor, then taught cadets AND HAVE APPLIED TO THE ARMED FORCES.

I know this shit first hand, so not only does the cadets produce pilots that no one can immediately use and in most cases they have an unsafe, and inexperienced attitude towards flying.

The civilan and military world has a way to deal with it, MORE TRAINING.

you get your private license, then you learn to fly at night, then you get your commerical license and learn to fly multi engine and instruments. By this time you have an attitude drilled into your head, you have experience you have become a  safe pilot.

The military has primary flight training (which is single engine, night, multi engine, instruments) then specialized or secondary flight training (which is fighters, transport, sub hunters)

and by that time once again you have had an attitude drilled into your head and experience.

We stop teaching the cadets too early, 8 weeks is not long enough of a time to show them a safe attitude. PPL is not long enough of a time to give them experience.

The cadet training should be single engine, night, tail dragger and tow plane.

The cadets should be training their cadet pilots to become tow pilots for their gliding program. The gilding program (which is even less useful than the power program but hey they love it) is sometimes used as stepping stones to the flying program.

They had these course

Intro to aviation
Air traffic control

Now I think the atc course is gone, which is a pity but they have 2 aviation courses

Basic Aviation
Advanced Aviation
Advanced Power

basic aviation they teach the basics of flying, theory of flight mostly and maybe some airlaw and airmenship.
Advanced aviation goes into navigation and met
Glider should focus heavily on the GLIDING part and less on the theory. The theory should have been taught and tested the previous summers
Power they should be reteaching the theory (to unteach the glider) then teaching these kids how to fly at night and how to fly a tail dragger
Advanced power should be heabily teaching these kids how to operate as a tow pilot, how to teach the theory stuff and the whole gliding air side operation. These (now adults) are teaching the new kids to start the cycle all over again.

It may not make it free for the armed forces, but atleast it makes it more self sustaining.

Adds, you can politely fuck off. I have NEVER met any horny, attractive, singles in my area. They are usually 1 (maybe 2) of the 3. Horny girls - typically sluts and therefore would never put out to me. I fucking love getting shot down by whores, Horny girls also tended to get pregnant more often in this part of the world, and interestingly enough they were never single, but sometimes attractive.

 Attractive girls - The women I found attractive would not put out or didnt find me attractive. my taste in women is legendarily bad

 Single Girls - USUALLY SINGLE FOR A REASON Funny, how these random hook ups appear to be the cause of fucked up relationships and under normal circumstances they seem to be hard as all hell to pull off Wait, so all the fucking up of relationships probably started from a very very small percetiage of all, affecting 2 people per relationship...so it grows exponentially. starts with 1 relationship, spreads to 2 people, 2 relationships to 4, 4 to 8, 8 to 16, 16 to 32

So what do we do as a society to fix this problem? dating websites.
Which are honnestly used by young teenagers or old men. Young teenage girls usually want just friends and very few want to get laid, stay away from that bunch anyway. Never trust anything you see on the internet. And they get pissy because a bunch of horny old men are trying to fuck them

I was being sarcastic, if I havent mentioned it enough times  I HATE DATING WEBSITES

They are NOT being used as they were planed. The problem is dating implies desperation, lonliness and is basically a hunting ground for men and women looking to prey on weak people for easy sex.

GOD when will people see that this is how dating websites are going these days. There are some exceptions, but those are the ones they use to make tv commercials because they are attractive people, about the same age, looking for a relationship.

I have not seen any new ads on tv so there must not be as many people getting lucky here and with good reason

The reasons are:
dating websites are frequented by people looking for a relationship or looking for sex.

For those of you who frequent these websites looking for friends only.
please kindly leave, you are a huge part of the problem.
For those of you in a relationship already please kindly leave, you are also a huge part of the problem
For those of you under the age of 19, get the fuck off the internet

Everyone else: fair game.

The problem is you have old men, looking for sex/relationships and see stupidly attractive young women, who take slutty pictures.


These guys go for these girls thinking fuck it why not.

These girls usually shoot down these guys, these guys get pissy and leave the website.
Then the girls who would be dtf these guys get on the website, see that there is no viable targets and leave.

Basically I think dating websites are full of people who should really just stick to facebook, its just a painful circle of various horny,dtf people pissing off people who look for a relationship leading to them leaving and their place being filled with more of the same.

The Rules of Engagement

3 True Assumptions about people

Everybody lies - But they do not always lie
Everybody screws up - But they do not always screw up
Everybody is selfish - But they are not always selfish

People lie to cover up a screw up which happened because they were selfish.


From this we can also derive other truths about people

People like being listened to
People like having their opinions validated

Remember the rules of women? Now here they are and Im going to call them the rules of engagement. It would take a far more intelligent man to figure out the rules of women, the least I can do is figure our rules on how to engage women (for marriage or otherwise)

Rule 0 - Know what you like
First, before everything else, you should know what you like in women

Rule 1 - Know what you are looking for
First you should know what you want this woman for (one night stand, booty call, girlfriend, mate, friend)

Rule 2 - Location
Certain types of women frequent certain places. A bar/party is usually a bad place to meet a mate or girlfriend

Rule 3 -Location, Location, Location
Choose venture to take the girl out that make sense and she will enjoy

Rule 4 - Everyone gets shot down once in a while
You will not always be successful, you will fail often, that does not mean you have my permission to stop trying

Rule 5 - Dont be boring or predictable
This will kill everything you have done faster than cheating on her

Rule 6 - Only one engagement at a time
This rule is flexible, however even in the event of a booty call or fuck buddy the girl likes to think that she is the only one.

Rule 7 - Expect double standards
and expect them to work against you. This is what feminist call 'equality' just work with it for now, eventually the girl will become more balanced and less bitchy

Rule 8 - Avoid Clingers
Clingers no matter what kind of relationship you go for always want to be your last. This could complicate things if they are not

Rule 9 - Avoid Virgins
Virgins can go one of a few ways, none of which are good for you. They could go complete slut which basically turns them into a booty call or they could want to be your last (see rule 8)

Rule 10 - Expect over analyzing
And no I dont mean the good anal. Women seem to take things at more than face value more often then men.

Rule 11 - Do not expect sex
If you are too pushy it will not happen, however if you are not pushy enough expected her to jump you.

Second Last Rule - Sometimes you get lucky

Last Rule - Sometimes none of the rules apply

the fuck LMFAO

They are taking a break to focus on other projects.
I thought that meant they were going to no do the drinking, party rockin bullshit that no one over the age of 30 should really be involved in. More serious music perhaps.

I also though that if they did that it would be awful and they would be back together within the year.

Nope. They did the oppositee of that, they are basically making the same music they did when they were together, doing the same shit just not working together.

The fuck happen? They get all bitchy about the younger guy being able to fuck 18 year old women and the forty something fuck got jealous.

DUDE You are old enough to be a parent of someone who enjoys your music.

And that is fine if you have been in the game for a while. You started when you were old making music for people who are young.

I really dont know how that worked but fuck it roll with it. But seriously, considering how old these guys are (and that they probabily were not like this before LMFAO) it is kind of a strange career move.

I am aware that the band was formed out of a joke, and their music starting out was not that great. Honnestly I though they were some bullshit youtube 'famous' band with a name like LMFAO. And their music reflected this. However as time went on their music got better and better, to the point where I am sad that they stopped working together.

Atleast they got out on a bang, stopped doing this while they were at their best and not a wash out.

However, they are still making the same sort of music, living the same sort of life.


It seems the like working in a group.

So what was the purpose of stopping lmfao, me like most people have no fucking idea who sky blu or red foo is. It just sounds like a ripoff of lmfao to me.

Monday, September 16, 2013

God I hate looking for a job

If you are not white, male, or young you have it easy. Everyone wishes to have a diverse workforce that represents the country. So they just give jobs to women, non white, not in their 20's people.
Because it is believed that young while men rule the world.

No. This is not the cause.

Did they use to?

Yes, but did they ever feel entitled for what they got? NONONO

Women (because of feminism) feel they are entitled. For every man in a given job there should be a woman.

Let me cite the example of pilots.



Flying was first done really in wartime, where men were sent off to fight. Not because women could not do it, BUT BECAUSE SOCIETY NEEDED TO EXIST!

The world wars were great for women because it changed their attitude. They could do these jobs, and thats the problem girls. YOU DONT THINK YOU CAN DO THE JOBS.

There is very few women pilots, not because we are stopping them but because they are stopping themselves. Feminism you need to change the attitudes of women to you can do whatever you want to, but you need to work LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

Not this Im a woman so hire me.

Let me cite another example, in Canada the service industry only needs to pay half the wage to an immergrant worker, and the federal government will cover the other half.


Now, guys like me, white (more or less), young and male have a hard time finding employment because everyone wants to hire everyone else. Regardless if these people are qualified or not.

Whats worse? This is spreading, I have Iraqi friends who have a hard time finding employment, because he is young and male.

Young men used to be the work horse of society, they had enough ambition, intelligence and strength with a desire to work. They could do just about any job at a reasonable level of competence.

We are no longer the work horse, seems immigration is causing non Canadians to be the work horse. This is not a bad thing, but it seems that rarely do these people move up in the world and that is not fair. Why would you promote a guy you only need to pay half his wages for?

The young men are becoming a trump card, the ace up the sleeve. When all other avenues have been exhausted, there is still the young male, ambitious, smart, strong and unemployed.

What does this mean for society? We are willing to tolerate mediocrity. This is bad, we should tolerate age, race, religion, sex, politics hell maybe even accept it but mediocrity is something that we should not tolerate. We should be striving for excellence and perfection, if things keep going like this Im afraid that what you see may be the best our species has to offer.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Who is telling the truth?

Nobody. Everyone lies, everyone is selfish.

If you proceed with these assumptions then you should never be surprised by anyones actions.
Now let us apply this on a larger scale, countries and the media.

Many would say mainstream media doesnt tell the truth.
Well no fucking shit, everyone lies and is selfish. Mainstream media will tell a story which benefits their cause the most.

Media that opposes mainstream media is the same thing, they will tell a story that benefits their cause the most.

What really pisses me off is people who do not think or form their own opinions on either.

Syria for example:

Where is the truth. Chemical weapons were used, people died.

Thats all I think is the truth, mainstream media would have you believe that the syrian government did it.
People opposing mainstream media would have you believe that the american backed rebels did it.

Because the cool thing these days is to hate the united states of america.

Ever consider that both stories may be correct, or incorrect?

What I hate most is the people who blindly follow those opposing mainstream media without questioning it, because these people would not try to manipulate a story to support their objective.


They WILL manipulate stories, tell you what they think you want to hear, wrap it in some nice anti american and conspiracy and convince you taht in supporting them you are uncovering the true evil.

On the other hand mainstream media will also tell you what you want to hear, wrap it up in some the bad guys are evil and have you support them.

So, who do you support.


Support the decisions he makes and by extension the decisions his government makes.

If you did not vote, then you should shut the fuck up. You never voiced your opinion when it mattered, therefore your opinion does no matter now.

I do not agree at all with most of my prime ministers decisions, however he is my prime minister. Canada is my country, and if need be I will defend this place because it is home and there are lots of fucking awesome people here.

People who cannot do this, kindly get the fuck out. Quit taking advantage of what you are being given and join the rebellion you know so much about because you watched a few youtube videos.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013


Honestly, I hate this word. It has no purpose other than to indicate that you are with a woman who you do not wish to cheat on, and it must be proclaimed to the world.

It is an old term, one I feel that is slowly disappearing. Good riddance.

I see more and more people be in relationships, happy, successful relationships and do not claim the other as their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Perhaps people are realizing that people are no longer possessions. If you wish to make this possession thing a term of endearment. You are Theirs. They are not yours. You give yourself to them, you do not take them for yourself.

Amazing how switching around a few words completely changes the meaning of some things.

If people were to say I am their boyfriend/girlfriend and not they are my boyfriend/girlfriend then I would have less of an issue with this.

To me it looks like it is used as a way to convince others that the relationship is happening and working. Perhaps even used to convince the people in the relationship.

Let me tell you a secret guys, your relationship should not be public UNTIL YOU ARE DECLARED HUSBAND AND WIFE.

Fiance has a place in this world, you are planning on marrying this person and therefore planning on spending your lives together. Thats pretty important.

Husband and Wife are important (besides being LEGAL terms)

It seems to me that the gay marriage people seem to forget about this. THE LEGAL DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE IS A HUSBAND AND WIFE.

I have no problem with gay marriage (only transgender who cant make up their damn minds) However the definition of marriage needs to change FOR IT TO BE LEGALLY RECOGNIZED.

Its not that people dont want it, its just there is miles and miles of red tape that needs to be cut through in order for it to work.

For example
Marriage is the union of a man (husband) and woman (wife) or of a woman () and a woman or of a man and a man.

What is the title we give to gay men and women in marriage. Because that is what husband and wife is
A title, rank, promotion to show that you have progressed in your relationship to the next and hopefully final level.

Perhaps we could do away with the titles, and proclaim people man and woman. Because you would not truly be an adult until you have taken such a vow so publicly and made it happen. I have heard the proclamation of man and wife at weddings.

These titles are important, but what of the girlfriend.
She is the one that I plan on making my fiance someday maybe if I feel like it?

Thats a fucking bullshit title. However it is what a girlfriend is. All the fun of a wife with none of the responsibility. As soon as it gets hard or not fun, you can get out of there and no one will think any less of you. (Especially if you are not the one doing the breaking up)

She is the only one I am having premarital sex with until such a time as we decide to have premarital sex with others.

Yeah, a real fucking nice title. Once upon a time it may have meant something different, but that doesnt matter anymore. It is almost becoming an insult, actually perhaps a better use of it would be very close male or female friends.

It does not need to imply a sexually intimate (or potentially sexually intimate) relationship. And is basically used to identify girls you will not be fucking (lord knows in high school this was more accurate of a girlfriend)

and perhaps a final point in why girlfriend/boyfriend should not be used as titles. You have not earned them. I suppose there are some who use them, then make good on them and become husband and wife.

But there is nothing to loose from a girlfriend or boyfriend, neither party is risking enough to justify the use of a title. There doesnt need to be legal ramifications, no pubic display. Only sex, fun and enjoying each others company, and if it ends you find a replacement.

That isnt worth a title. And dont get me started on living with a girlfriend or boyfriend before marriage...That will come another time.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Fucking old people

Off the topic of women and relationships, I have one simple question.


Oh my god, the wealth on knowledge and experience that must reside in the dimential infested heads of the old.

Back in my day this, it used to be like that, things were better cheaper blah blah blah nostalgia.

Thats great sir, so why dont you tell me some of what you know, I am genuinely interested.



Oh my god. they say that young people dont want to learn or listen.



For example, my boss. An old guy, hires me to be a laborer, I dont know anything about what I am doing but he said in the job add all you need is some enthusiasm, willingness to work hard and learn. And I showed up with these two things.

This fucking prick cannot be bothered to teach me anything, show me what to do or tell me what he wants done correctly. He will give me a task, I will do the task but when I am finished

Its wrong, do it again.


I like the work, its very physical, I can vent steam and Im outside but surprise surprise
my boss is a fucking idiot. I should be used to this shit by now. Everyone has a boss who is an idiot.

But bosses are not the problem, its old people. Yes they have knowledge and experience and say that they are willing to share this to anyone who would listen.


They cant be bothered, worst of all people seem to forget one thing. OLD PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE TOO.

There will be idiots, liars, people who know nothing, people who think they know everything.

Experience is useful, however the best way to gain it is by doing. What these people have to offer you may be less than what you want. If it turns out to be a bit of a hassle, dont waste your time. Find someone else willing to talk and teach.

This is not a good thing. This is how world wars will happen, because these men and women are not adequately passing on the misery that was those conflicts. Vets are dieing, people seem to be celebrating remembrance day is fewer number and taking advantage of the long weekend it provides.

Those conflicts will be forgotten, in my life time, and unfortunately probably repeated.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Everything I do is an experiment

Especially with women. Take for example this bitch.
She likes me (some are so easy to deceive) and wants to fuck me, but wont fuck me because of some misplaced morale obligation.

No matter, this provides an opportunity for an interesting social experiment: How long can she go without texting me.

Answer: About 3 days. She texted me at midnight no less.
Yeah you dont just text someone who you want/wanted to fuck at midnight for a conversation or support. Like it or not you want my cawk.

We actually had a wonderful conversation, I may keep in touch with her. I get the feeling that her pussy is tight as hell and she can suck the chrome of a exhaust pipe. Besides that she is fun to be around, perhaps I should move her to my painfully short list of women who I would feel bad fucking because I actually respect them.

Moving on, and speaking of texting why is it people dont want to text someone else first

This is going with the assumption that one or both parties want to fuck the living shit out of each other

Here is why, if a guy texts first he is worried that he will come across as being a stalker like person or creepy and if the girl text first she is worried she will come across as clingy.

Pretty fucking simple, however this is never the case. You only give your phone number to someone you want to contact you so when you receive a text, its a good fucking feeling. Remember that.

If the person does not immediately get back to you, people are not always looking at their phone/busy

Either that or they dont really want to talk to you.

Nobody calls any more, I almost miss the days where I would talk to a 'girlfriend' on the phone for hours about nothing. Receiving a call usually means something important or the person really likes you. (does not have to be sexually...Bush. You fucking queer)

Saturday, August 3, 2013

I give up

I just watched my friend get married, him and his now wife have (hopefully) fucked each others brains out.

They were both virgins, they got married to the first person they have sex with and hopfully the last and only person they will have sex with.

Thats pretty fucking special, how many people can say that these days that they have only ever made love to the only person they have loved?

For me and people like me the fact that we have had sex with others before seems to make marriage less special now, more so just signing of a legal document saying that you will not cheat (or get caught cheating) until one of you die or you get a divorce.

I can not even say that marriage is special for the raising of children, I know plently of unmarried couples with children and single parents with children and they all seem to be doing a pretty good job at it.

So the person I marry will be the last person I have sex with hopefully

Do you know who else may be the last person I have sex with? THE LAST PERSON I FUCKED.

Marriage isnt going to be special for me or people like me, that fucking sucks.

Brings up another interesting point: all relationships, courtships are for the purpose of marriage.

The dates, the kissing, the flirting is all to impress a girl enough so that she will agree to marry you someday.
But marriage is pointless, so this kissing, flirting is also pointless.

Relationships are now pointless.

Im beginning to see why premarital sex is an awful idea. What it has come down to is any relationship I start with a girl will not be as special as it should be, and be pointless because marriage is pointless.

Marriage is just a party with the people you care about.

You can organize that shit any weekend for a fraction of the cost.

So it means the pursuit of women has become something for lust and sex. Thats it.
Thats pretty fucking awful, for everyone involved.

Moving on:

The guys who go nuts and shoot up schools, seems alot of people agree that this should be treated as mental illness.

I agree, perhaps if they recieved the help they needed they would have been better

So why dont we treat cross dressers, transsexuals or girls who think they are guys and vice versa the same way?

Thats not mental Illness you say? allow me to make my points.


Im saying that people who change their gender have a mental illness

1) They feel like a girl in a guys body or vice versa...sounds almost like schizophrenia to me
2) They are not happy with the way they are so they change it...sounds almost like depression to me

So its okay for when its a criminal because he is killing people (makes sense)
however for someone who wishes to change their gender we just indulge them? are you fucking kidding me?


So, with regards to these people who wish to bend their gender do we give into what they want or try and treat what may be wrong with them.

Now, Im sure there are tonnes of people who say you should not be identified by gender.

Bullshit, women look more esthetically pleasing, have tits and better asses then men.
They have different shapes, and feel to their skin, different clothes and hair lengths.


it is part of who you are, it shapes your personality and if one day you feel like that it has been wrong your whole life


you should not be judged by your gender, even if you wish to change it.

For me personally, changing someones gender isnt going to fix their problem. They are not happy and when people are not happy they have an uncanny way of finding new ways to not be happy.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


And tonight I honnestly wanted to indulge in some...

This is Mark by the way, not the bullshit personna  that I put on to normally write this. I cant make this shit up. I was out drinking with an ex girlfriend (yes yes I know Iknow shut up) we are decent friends, she was drinking with her friend who is a new mom and oh my fuck do her tits show it. They were both kinda buzzed, very social and fun and we drove to a local gas station to get more booze.

I wasnt drinking tonight, wasnt feeling it. They picked up fireball. Bad Idea, very very bad idea and they drank more. The ex called er quits earlier, had enough to drink and wanted to be useful later today...her friend drank more and more. Then started making out with her! It was fucking great, my penis was so confused, here is a hot blond and a hot (fake) redhead making out infront of me. However one was my ex the other one was dumb as a fucking post.

Moving on, the friend started dancing and taking off her clothes, My ex (thinking it was funny) told her that I wanted a lapdance.

nice try, but the friend went over and gave my ex a lapdance and started trying to make out with her again!

...I was seeing almost rape...Im not sure how I feel about this.

anyway she feels it nesscary to sit on my lap while she speaks to her boyfriend.

Im not sure what the look was on my face (id imagine what hte fuck) but my ex was loosing her shit.

Anyway all good things must end so the ex went to bed and told me to take care of her friend who kept calling her boyfriend and saying these things.

Hey do you want me to go to daves and you pick me up
(repeat 3 times)
Hey Im going to bed
(repeat 3 times)
Good night I love you

and she did this...every 5 minutes for 2 fucking hours. and his voicemails got more and more angry because she was not listening or hearing what he was saying which was

you are a fucking stupid cunt
your drunk go to bed
im going to bed
no i do not have a girl over
get your fucking act together
start thinking, your dumb when your drunk

pick one of these phrases and its what he responded with anytime she left him a voice message

After some coarsing (and the fact that I think she would have fucked me) I got her to drink some water and into bed.

Miss ex, next time we go drinking, no hard stuff, and not this friend

Saturday, July 6, 2013

New Pussy

There will come a day when you will wake up and want to have sex. But not want to have sex with anyone you can have sex with at the moment.

Ah yes my friend, this is the worst kind of horniness where you will fuck just about anyone (whichever way you swing) just because its someone new and different.

I would strongly advise against this if you are in any form of relationship because this will kill it faster than any other person. If you cheat with someone logical, you can make you point and perhaps save the relationship. This is being done out of boredom and as I have mentioned before boredom kills relationships.

So how can you fuck someone you SHOULD be fucking and make it exciting? You are asking the right person.

New location - Beds are nice, cars are not bad (personally Im not much of a fan of cars, not enough room to be fun) however the chance of getting caught or being seen by someone else is a bit of a thrill. So choose a place where there could be some risk of getting in trouble, you both will enjoy the rush.
Perhaps just fuck somewhere you have no fucked before, it could be anything from a different room to a beach (lay towels down) whatever.

New way - missionary style gets the job done, but why not try different positions? The key to this is the better shape and more flexible you are the more you will be able to do. You do not even need to change location.

Dress up - I do not mean furry like, I mean what would get you hard and her wet like. For example she could be a french maid. Maybe she wants to see you in a suit.

Play games - kinda relates to dress up, but you could play doctor, or be a businessman and she be a secretary

Perhaps the simplest of all video tape yourselves. Put it on the internet or watch it and see what you could improve or if it makes you want to have sex again. If it doesnt, both of you have work to do.

There is no shame in getting inspirations from pornography, but if you want to keep your relationship successful and not boring, start in bed and go from there.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

I should have stayed in Quebec

I should really write down the rules of the bro code.
Basically if you call someone a bro, bromance or invoke the bro code here are the rules one should follow.

I suppose this will be useful for women.
As a bro, I pledge

 to be your wingman to distract the bitchy or ugly females which may otherwise get in the way of a female you wish to talk to, fuck, marry, kill, date

to call the ex girlfriend of your recent relationship a cunt and be supportive

to not fuck, marry, kill or date an ex girlfriend without your prior consent

to give you a drive if you need one

to never let you drink alone

to bail you out of sticky situations

to take you to the hospital (however be able to call you a dumb-ass if you were foolish)

to watch your ass in the event of a fire fight, dogfight, auto combat, zombie apocalypse or world war

to kill you in the event you turn into a zombie, werewolf, vampire, possesed undead mother fucker. Without hesitation

and I will add more to that list as I think of them

Now, with regards to women...

How about I call these the rules of engagement because love is a battlefield or some shit like that
Honestly, I just like the metaphors.

Rule 0 - Know what you like
First, before everything else, you should know what you like in women

Rule 1 - Know what you are looking for
First you should know what you want this woman for (one night stand, booty call, girlfriend, mate, friend)

Rule 2 - Location
Certain types of women frequent certain places. A bar/party is usually a bad place to meet a mate or girlfriend

Rule 3 -Location, Location, Location
Choose venture to take the girl out that make sense and she will enjoy

Rule 4 - Everyone gets shot down once in a while
You will not always be successful, you will fail often, that does not mean you have my permission to stop trying

Rule 5 - Dont be boring or predictable
This will kill everything you have done faster than cheating on her

Rule 6 - Only one engagement at a time
This rule is flexible, however even in the event of a booty call or fuck buddy the girl likes to think that she is the only one.

Rule 7 - Expect double standards
and expect them to work against you. This is what feminist call 'equality' just work with it for now, eventually the girl will become more balanced and less bitchy

Rule 8 - Avoid Clingers
Clingers no matter what kind of relationship you go for always want to be your last. This could complicate things if they are not

Rule 9 - Avoid Virgins
Virgins can go one of a few ways, none of which are good for you. They could go complete slut which basically turns them into a booty call or they could want to be your last (see rule 8)

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Hell on wheels

Warning: Major spoilers are ahead potentially. I fucking love hell on wheels, best damn show I have seen in a while Mind you Im told breaking bad is also awesome, but I havent got into that Im also balls deep in dexter. But this is about hell on wheels, Ill try to keep the spoilers to a minimum and I will give some warning Hell on wheels is about the construction of the union pacific railroad. Bullshit, the railroad is just the setting, its the wild west, gunslingers, desperados, indians, horses all that good shit. I was a little iffy about the show at first, I am not much of a western guy, but the first episode was awesome. Its very well written and can quickly establish characters and kill them off in the same episode if need be. It has a similiar attitude that game of thrones has with regards to killing off characters. What really got me into the show was the intelligence of the characters. In many other shows and movies you have stupid characters to create conflict and plot. (ie walking dead where all the women seem to be cunts and useless and the children dont fucking listen) Or characters that you just hate once again back to walking dead, another series that im told is good but it has just inspired rage in me when I see the women be useless or the children not listen always ending up in the main characters nearly getting killed by the undead. Fuck have they not learned yet (Im told though that the cunts are being killed off and the children are becoming badasses so I may give this new season a shot) Hell on wheels isnt like that, every character has a backstory, kinda sorta revealed as time goes on through conversations with others or flashbacks. It is a group of people who would never work together but they have a common goal, and proper motivation. The characters are intelligent, I have never seen an episode or conflict and though Thats not how it would have happened, or why dont you just fucking say it or how could you be so stupid or oblivious to something obvious. Smart characters need tougher conflict, and you want to keep watching because you want to know how they are going to get themselves out of this mess, and they usually do so in an elegant fashion, intelligent and badass. Characters also change good guys become bad guys (I have not seen the opposite of this yet) but one thing remains constant: The honour of the main character Cullen Bohannen. Here begins the spoliers Cullen Bohannen is an ex confederate soldier. Think of him like a jedi general in any of the star wars conflicts. He ran a tabocco farm, freed his slaves a year before the war and went to war because of his honour, he must defend his homeland even if he thinks that they are wrong. He is smart, good with explosives (small amount of black powder = bridge gone) His wife was the daughter of the man who owned the railroad in his home town, interesting connection because that guy was BFF with the man antagonist (Thomas Durant) kinda explains how Bohannen knows so much about railroads. It sounds like his is well educated though I dont think this has been confirmed. His wife and son were killed by a group of union soldiers, and he seeks out these men and kills them. He is an excellent shot, calm under fire and a leader. All possibly thanks to the civil war, or perhaps not we dont know, but it doesnt matter. He is on a quest of revenger, but honours his word to a fault. Elam Fergusen Bohannens right hand basically, black man...well half white, he was born of a slave and the slaves master. He was taught to read and when freed has a huge chip on his shoulder, my friend loves him. I dont like him nearly as much as he does but Elam goes through the most changes out of any character. He starts off as a ex slave with a chip on his shoulder, no respect. Bohannen takes him under his wing, they save each others lives and hold off an attack by dozens of cheyenne. His first gunfight before this did not go as smooth (he only hit once while bohannen killed the other 5 men before he could get his first shot off) and he didnt even kill the fucker. No matter after this he became what Bohannen was basically, a gun for hire keeping order and peace on the railroad, he became more awesome but then his ego grew. He stopped haning out with his friends and family and got hammered all the time and killed when he was told to. After realizing that he was trying to be white and was rejected by many of the white men he returned to his friends and family, still a badass, less of a drunk and a better overall man. Thomas Durant The badguy...basically, he owns the railroad and did not come from money. He is smart, tough, isnt afraid to get his hands dirty, but if that can be avoided he avoids it. He is a doctor, made his fortune then created companies. He is obsessed with making money (his wife is even more evil and ambitious...how that was possible I dont know) He had a son who died during childbirth resulting is the less than optiminal relationship with his wife. Eventually when he is caught stealing money he is arrested, but he has gotten out of similar binds, I hope to see him in season 3, but I doubt it since Bohannen has been promoted to his job. Bohannen went from walking boss to foreman/mercenary to train robber to security chief/mercenary to boss of the railroad construction, he has reported to Durant the owner of the railroad and at the end of the second season it looks like he only reports to the board.

The best love story ever

This really needs to be written down, because honestly it may be the best love story since Romeo and Juliet. Let me set the tone.
University, 2007, a party house (the eventual house of the year but that is beside the point)
Done, now our hero; Ares; an upperclassmen, a survivor of first year, tall and lanky, glasses, blue eyes and a fucking awesomely chiselled chin, dark hair longer than short but shorter than long. Got it? Good.
Now our heroine; Erinyes; a first year, tall (but not as tall), slim, long dark hair, sometimes curly sometimes not, flirtatious (seriously, this girl is a cocktease, everything she does can be suggestive) probably because she was a fine arts students (please do not ask how I know this). Got it? Good.

It probably all started during the frosh party. I do not remember the night at all. Maybe I wasn’t even there. But it probably started with a look. He was scoping out the room looking for an attractive frosh with low self esteem. You see when you are looking for a hook up, the trick is to find the sweet spot where the graph of attractiveness intersects the graph of self esteem, ideally minimum self esteem with maximum attractiveness. Logically you start with the less attractive females or females who are not as voluptuous. Knowing this Ares saw a slim brunette, sitting next to a much curvier dirty-blond female (which would eventually be regarded by men and women alike as the most attractive woman in the house that year) and Ares liked what he saw but backed off when Erinyes noticed him checking him out.
This is where I wish we could read minds, because as much as Ares may have liked Erinyes. I believe Erinyes was more attracted to Ares.

We had a spark, however it did not catch flame this night or any night for a long, long time. Ares had given up chasing Erinyes almost immediately. This was because of her flirtatious mannerisms. Seriously, I have never met anyone quite like her and her somewhat regular one night stands with a man on a higher floor with more muscles and epic facial hair. Ares thought that he did not have a chance.

Turns out Erinyes was hooking up with this individual because she felt that Ares did not want to chase her.

Fucking hell people, just talk to each other.

It was not until at least two months later when one would make the first move.
To most people two months is not a long time, in two months people I did not know before became some of my closest friends and I could not imagine a day where I wasn’t drinking or pretending to study with them.

Ares was in luck, a beautiful woman and him had just decided to start dating.
Unfortunately this woman was not Erinyes. Literally, just hours this happened Erinyes had worked up the courage that she had been saving up for at least 8 weeks and asked Ares on a date.
And she was shot down like a nazi over Brittan in the ‘40s.
Ares had know that his good friend, the doctor, was quite interested in Erinyes (perhaps this influenced his decision to date the other girl. I have no fucking idea) So he set those two up.
And that relationship went about as well as the defence of pearl harbour.

And so it came to be that these two played this game of conveniently not being single when the other one was and before you knew it, the year was up. Summer happened. Then life happened, our house, our family was no longer living together.

That being said, we are still a pretty close group now (this is because of the lack of house-cest)
What of Ares and Erinyes?

It seems that Erinyes has had a string of moderately unsuccessful relationships with men and women.
Ares is in a stable, long term relationship with a woman he loves.

The real tragedy here, It is not Erinyes, It is the fact that the world will never know what these two could have been.

Would have they been perfect for each other. I think so, and made each other happy. I think so.
Happier or more perfect than what Ares has now or what Erinyes may have in the future. I don’t know.
I hope that neither of them has regrets of what they have decided but I know from experience that sparks never fade. When you look at someone that you had a spark or a one night stand with there will always be a part of you wondering what life would be like with that person.

Claude's Chronicles 6

I need to kill Sal? Fine. Boom boom boom.
I just chased his ass with a car and shot at him. A lot. Then when my car blew up I decided to show a rocket up his ass. Fuck you for trying to kill me because your fucking wife makes shit up.

I swear to fuck she had better give me the best head or I will shot her.

These 2 girls a fucking dykes? Excellent?  Seems a 3 way is in store for me. Seriously this asian chick that has a thing for maria seems to be coming on to me. Maria you may be replaced because it seems SHE WILL ACTUALLY RIDE MY COCK. Fuck her name, it starts with a...akira maybe? I dont know. However she has referred to me as Marie's territory. I could get used to that.

Well I got another page. Seriously, I dont know why I have a pager I dont even know the number to it, so how the fuck can I give it out. I literally just felt something vibrate in my pants and it was there and random ased people have been sending me pages.

8 ball, that son of a bitch, these were his pants and its his pager.

Wait, the car was a trap...a bomb probably. Did 8 ball try to kill me? Fuck Sal turned the guy who saved my ass on me. Im glad he is done, in fucking fact I want to end all of the mafia.

Anyway, new page and an new street race. One was in a lambo...he was kinda challenging the other 2 were in a chev truck and a hummer, my fuck A challenging drive would be nice. I won the race so the voice has some more work for me, may as well check it out. I will talk to the dykes later.

2 guys are riding with me...to see if I am capable? Riiiiiiiiiiight. This is going to be fun. Kill some diablos, I do driving and shooting. Well atleast they were kind enough to give me an uzi.

Jack some cars? Easy enough...

Yeah it was, akira practically gives me a triaid supra, the other two were easy to find and I just love me an excuse to go over to port land and run over those assholes in the suits.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Resurrection of Claude 5

Another day, another note. Fucking hell.

Atleast he was kind enough to give me some wingmen with uzis..and and uzi for me? Toni you shouldn't have. I need to kill some soldiers and leaders of the triads...with these guys? Fuck that shit. I got into an audi and ran their asses over, then one guy was in a blocked off area. I just punched the shit out of him while...my audi blew up, fuck this town. I stole a mini and jumped it over the wall to their fish factory and ran over every fucking triad I found.

Then got paid handsomely for it, fucking awesome way to start the day.

Rain mackerel? Sounds good. I need to rig a garbage truck with a bomb, park it in the fish factory and blow it sky high. Easy enough, problem is it is on a timer and twitchy as hell. So drive fast and smooth and dont hit anything. Easier said than done in this fucking town.

And it fucking worked! It rained mackerel, it was great. I took some of that shit home and fried it up, it was delicious.

Im done with Toni now...guess Sal needs me to do some things. Let us see what he needs.
Follow Bob...he is talking then I have to kill him. I will follow him in a mafia car to be subtle.

I cant believe that seriously work, I whacked the guy by just running his ass over. Fuck that noise

We need to use one head? my head? This guy wants me to fight his fucking war for him? Good to see my old friend 8 ball. That fucker doesnt even know his name.

100000 dollars? fucking hell, how the hell does this handless man make bombs...and a sniper rilfle? I fucking hate sniper rifles...

Well that was easy, and kinda fun. Now Im not sure what to do, Ive stopped the war with the triaids and I just sank a colombian ship with smack

Well shit

What am I supposed to do, really what? My boss looks like he runs this town, oh well Im bored with the mafia for now. I hear the garage needs me to steal cars for them. Maybe I will become a taxt driver

So that marty guy has another mission for me, pick up some thieves that he hired so he could get some insurance money...and they said nothing in the car. Then they fucking got killed by this guy. My fuck everyone in this town is an asshole, why did he have to kill the people who knew to shut their traps. Sounds like he has another mission for me.

He wants me to pick up his wife...great I wonder what for. He has a Vanguish now, its a nice car.

God his wife is a dumb cunt, and wouldnt shut up. I hope he kills her. He fucking killed her, schweet.

Wait, what he wants me to dump the vehicle into the sea? THIS IS A FUCKING ASTON MARTIN

Fucking nob, oh well. Perhaps he has money problems because he keeps destroying his cars in order to kill people. I cant swim so I dont want to drive it into the sea, so I inconspicuously pushed it into the water off the end of the wharf, thats not suspicious, right?

Fucking hell, his wife was cheating on him with a guy who wants to kill marty now. I need to pick him up...guess I know how this is going to go.

The fuck, why is marty outside? MY GOD THIS GUY JUST FUCKING SHOT MARTY

Im going back to the italians, they are less crazy. Fucking hell, I need to dispose of yet another corpse and car. Fuck this city, Im going back to san andreas.

Maria fucking paged me, seriously how do people get this number? Anyway the car is a trap...fucking hell whats going on here.

What? Salvatore was selling me to the cartel to end this war? Sal thinks me and Maria were fucking behind his back...BECAUSE MARIA FUCKING SAID THIS TO HIM WHAT THE FUCK WOMAN

God damn it learn to shut your hole.

She probabily said it to try and convince Sal to not get me killed, she actually gives a fuck about my life. Im not sure if anyone has before. Fuck the mafia, im in a boat and we are getting out of here.

Well I am in liberty city proper now. Is this girl asian? like triaif? WHAT THE FUCK.
Oh well, she has been kind enough to give me a place to lay low, may as well check it out.

A nice big garage, a nice new toyota supra in triad colours. I think I like this woman. Fuck today, Im calling it a night.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Part 4

I am a getaway driver for a bank robbery...fantastic.
This went so well last time, atleast I can fuck them over if need be and not be fucked over
Well that was actually alot of fun. Got chased through ally's and lost the cops, go my car sprayed and new engine and we are home free. Joey has nothing new for me, I guess I will go see Toni.

He wants me to blow up vans...I have a lovely flame thrower kicking around that has not been used in a little while hehehe

I may have went a little crazy with the flame thrower...I really should have thought that threw, it was hard to find a vehicle after.

I need to pick up the cash...I scared them so...good? Anyway that fuck left me a letter and you know what? He is still yelling orders at me. My fuck I can never get a word in with these people, working with them may be a little irritating now

Well it was a fucking ambush, and that fucker sends me another letter, atleast he wasnt yelling at me. My fuck I want to talk sometimes and everyone else to shut the fuck up. Anyway go see joey, pick up the limo pick up luigi, pick up toni. Joey is the black sheep of the family, spells his name with a y. Fucking italians.

Must say Joey cleans up good, this isnt a fucking limo. Thank god, its a BMW 760. All these mafia guys in one car, it would suck if we got chased and I had to maneveur one of those ugly stretch things around this fucking city. And now the rain starts, great this would suck if we get chased.

We got fucking chased by fish trucks. They did not stand a chance against my skill, and you know what? these italian guys kept their mouths shut while shit was exploding around us and we were being shot at. They trusted me, that is fucking awesome. Im not sure if anyone has ever trusted me like that before, and they seem to know when to be quiet. I change my mind, I like these guys. I want to just work for them until I die.

Well Salvadore is the guy in charge, sounds like he has some use for me and seeing as nobody else needs a transporter and I like working for these guys lets see what they have.

I need to look after his girlfriend Maria...and she looks like a redhead. Well atleast he told her to shut up and it seems that these 2 do not get along. My fuck she talks to me like a cunt...and doesnt shut up

and she was totally undressing me with her eyes. This is not good.

She wants to score some drugs, Im guessing that she uses sal for money and he uses her for pussy. She is just a prostitute with clothing on. She is a little chatty and my name is fucking claude. IF PEOPLE WOULD SHUT UP AND MET ME SAY SOMETHING THEY WOULD KNOW THIS. I am not fido, kid, bro or whatever the fuck you guys call me. Claude. Fuck.

Now I need to wait outside while she goes in and dance? My fuck I had better get paid well for this. This is boring as tits, I would kill for a cop chase right about now...

Fuck my life.

Well that was a hell of a case, the swat raided the dance and they were shooting people and fighting. Maria was useful in a fight, she punched out 2 guys on her way to the car, then a nice short chase followed.

Im getting used to being chaed in the BMW, Im going to miss it. The boss wants his car back, pity. I have a feeling that Toni needs me for more work and Sal does as well. Fuck that noise, Im going to sleep. Maria touched my hand after I got her home, Im getting the vibe she wants to fuck me. God damnit.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Claude's Chronicle 3

Well I could not get into the dog food factory and the message directed me to a payphone outside mistys appartment. A vocie on the other end of the line told me to get a fast car and race...you know what, I think that dealership may have restocked their lamborguni...

Well that race was easy, went on all night and we finished...well I finished at the crack of dawn. These guys were not even close to me, how boring. Not at all like that race I had with that black guy back west in San Andreas...anyway Im feeling tired now, I think I will call it a night. I have a feeling that payphone will have more work for me and that marty guy may be at his factory.

Once again no marty, that guy works fucked up hours. I thought about heading over to Joey's but I went back to the payphone, maybe I will catch a glimpse of misty getting naked in her apartment and typically I dont need to deal with people talking there. He had me put a bomb in an ice cream machine to kill some mobsters that wanted to cut off his cock, I did take an ice cream sandwich from the truck before I blew it up.

It rained vanilla and blood, kinda neat. I recieved another page...seriously how the fuck do people get this number. Actually, why and how the fuck do I have a pager?

Anyway, the voice is telling me to kill things with fire. I think I like Shit a little collateral damage, but no hookers. Thank god, atleast those women shut the fuck up when you tell them to.

Jesus fucking christ, he had me follow porn he made with a donky...from a guy who stole that shit. What the fuck is wrong with this town? I have not received any pages about jobs from that guy however I did get a page from joey, telling me that I can steal more payroll vans and give them to him to be cracked, seems like an easy way to make money. He may have also said that he has something from for me, well seems like I have nothing better to do, might as well see what he has.

Toni Cipranni needs a driver? Sounds like a mafia man. Anyway joey needs me a driver for later and Toni needs me to drive around his modified Audi S8. Atleast it is a nice car, I feel like Jason Statham now, fucking hell. Im not even fucking british.

Well Toni wont mind if I drive away with his car that his son has worked so hard to modify right?

How the fuck does the ammunation have my pager number? WHAT THE HELL LEAVE ME ALONE!

You know what though, Toni is a decent guy. He likes daft punk, when the triads were chasing us (for a short time because I am that fucking good) he had old daft punk blasting, yelling some shit in italian. It was surprisingly fun, I think I want to work for these guys for a bit.

Im heading to Joey's, sounds like he has something fun in mind.

It was get a dead body to the fucking crusher, while being chased. You know what, I enjoy a good chase. These guys did not give me a good chase, he keeps paging me about some job but I think I am going to go to sleep, I will talk to him in the morning.

The Chronicles of Claude II

Well that was easy. I may have wrecked my langoruni doing so but it was easy. I rammed the pimps car as hard as I could and kept driving into it until it flipped over and exploded.

Seriously, the fuck? They just explode when upside down...must be a safety feature or something. I then took my heavily damaged car and drove over the one who escaped the burning twisted wreckage that was his car and partner. Problem was I ran into a pole...and my lamborguni caught on fire and ran my ass off. Its okay though, I borrowed a plymouth prowler from a near by citizen. Its a nice smooth ride, much easier to drive than the lambo...but not nearly as fast. RIP lamborguni, I will remember you until I visit that dealership again.

I guess I will go back to Luigis, I just sent misty to joeys earlier this morning.
Well Luigi is no yelling at me thats nice...wait what? He wants me to deliver hookers to a policemans ball? The fuck is wrong with this guy. This is not going to work

I cant believe that fucking worked? What the hell is wrong with this place? The cops are just as bad as the criminals.

But you know what I like those girls, did not say a word, just let me listen to my music and drive.

I hope that they had a fun night. Im going to head back to the strip club to see if Luigi needs anything done, its getting kind of late.

The fucker said he didnt need me for anything at the moment, this sucks. I liked how easy this job was, drive hookers and run over people. I doubt Joey is awake at this hour, I may as well call it a night.

I decided to leave the prowler at home and go see Joey. Misty is still here, what the fuck? He hasnt fucked her yet?


What is wrong with this place. Anyway he tells me to go steal some guys car and rig it with a bomb. That is a good way to eliminate someone without getting to close or dirty, I kinda like it. Turns out 8 ball has a bomb shop and he can rig this for me, that fucker had to be at that strip club for fucking days.

A pity, a benz SL500, gorgeous car went up in smoke with this fat ass. Oh well mission completed...I kinda wrecked that VW I stole to get to joeys, I ought to find another ride...

M3? You will do. Im supposed to off some drug dealer in china town. Seriously, this Joey guy is only having me go after bad guys, is he a criminal or vigilante? and why has he not fucked misty yet. WHAT THE HELL.

Well this guy didnt go down to hard...he doesnt take well to being run over. I just rammed his car until he got out of it then ran his ass over...however once again I may have blown up my car, goodbye M3. Nice Passat...Ill take it.

Joey has a nice job for me. Ram a payroll van until the driver leaves then steal it, Could be fun.

That was seriously the easiest fucking thing ever. I just ramed and went, a smash and grab if you will. I think joey has some more things for me but I want to look into that marty character and investigate a strange pager message I just recieved...seriously how the fuck do people get this number?

The Generic Asshole plays gta

Ima just post rants here about playing gta, specifically gta 3 because its been forever since I have played it.
Also I have the real gta 3 mod where all cars are listed as a real car (mercedes benz for example) and the graphics look a little sharper. Everything is no longer a parody or reference, its all mcdonalds or pepsi ect ect ect. I fucking love it.

On a side note, who ever thought up naked lesbian wrestling needs a nobel prize.

So yeah, Ima write GTA 3 stuff from the perspective of claude.

So Ima robbin this bank, this this chesty brunette with a low cut shirt fucking shoots me
Seriously what the fuck, I just covered their asses with a god damned shotgun and this is how I am repaid. This is bullshit, Im arrested, in a hospital and going to prison when suddenly the door opens. I kick a fucker and escape next to a black guy with no fucking hands.


My fuck, we find a the least wrecked car on the bridge and drive away, this guy says he knows a spot where we can hide. The radio says the cops do not know who was on board the transport exactly, and think that we are all dead.

So, I am dead. Fucking great. Perhaps this is a good thing though, I want to find that bitch and repay the favour. This guy says we should go to a strip club, talk to some Luigi guy about work.

Hell, its not like I have anything better to do, but my fuck does he talk alot. I cannot get a word in edge wise around this guy.

At the strip club I am greeted by a yelling italian, I need to get one of his girls, Misty. He also says 8 ball has business upstairs. Well atleast now I know his fucking name, lucky bastard is getting his dick wet.

Well I have a new car, and nothing to do. Why the fuck not pick up a striper? How hard can this be. Misty is a gorgeous redhead, but dumb as a fucking post, still I guess you need that level of stupidity, naieveity and physical attractiveness to survive in that industry. I like her, she does not talk to much.

Not that I had any desire to talk to her, but it was nice to not have people talk for me, or yell orders at me or just not shut the fuck up.

Luigi came out yelling again about some new drug...smack or some shit like that. He wants me to take this crowbar and beat the living fuck out of the dealers.

I drove over to where he was at and I

Ran his ass over with my car. Fuck that crowbar noise, too much time and effort. Luigi also told me to take his car, its a nice little sport car convertable. I get it painted up and put in his garage nice and neat and pick up another paycheque.

God if this is all I have to do for a while I will take it

I decide to call it a night/day. The sun is rising at this point and I havent slept in a while, 8 ball isnt back yet either. My fuck he must still be going at the strip club.

I wake up and decide to go to the strip club, perhaps see some naked women...its around lunch time so Im hoping it is quiet so I can enjoy some breasts and a brew.

No sooner that I get in there Luigi is asking me to pick up misty...again.
And drive her. Again.

I didnt even get the chance to protest. Fucking hell, I get into the car and pick up misty and take her to a garage. Some Joey guy.

He seems like a nice guy, not a criminal. Why he is hiring hookers and wants to hire me is beyond me. He tells me to come back later, I guess I will let him get his dick wet because it seems everyone in this fucking town can get laid except for me.

I hear a phone ringing nearby. I pick it up and its some Marty guy, wants me to get his banker. I pick up his banker and he says one thing to me "Lets pay the man a visit shall we?"

I like this guy, he knows when to shut up.

So Marty fucking killed him and wants me to get rid of the evidence, Marty is a bit of an asshole. This guy was quiet, I like quiet. Atleast I dont have to use my car and the new daft punk song was playing.

So I sat back and watch as martys Volkswagen was crushed and realized that I am way the fuck away from my new living arrangements. I dont want to walk, fuck that shit.

But I did see a shiny new Lamborghini at a car dealership nearby. Yoink, mine now.
Now where to go..Luigi or Joey. Ill go to the strip club, 8 ball must be done by now he has been there a day.

Luigi came out and yelled at me again...some pimp is piming his girl on luigits location. I guess I need to take him out. At least he was kind enough to give me a fucking gun.

Things that really suck

Here are some things that suck, involving women.

1) The 'r' word
2) Awesome to Not

Relationship, that word can be scary to people. It changes everything because now you can fuck up, now there is a chance it can end badly.

I really fucking hate it when the relationship is forced onto someone. For example (yes, this is from experience)

You are hanging out and talking with this awesome girl. The relationship is not overly intimate, you just enjoy each others company. Then one day, because of courage or alcohol one of you kisses the other.

Now everything changes, when you hang out with her you start spending less time enjoying her company and more time enjoying her body, this does not have to be a bad thing. Eventually you will come to a balance of making out and having conversation and things are good. One day things are going to change again when on of you decides to make it to second base.

At this point this will usually go one of 3 ways.

1) we shouldnt do this, then it stops
2) you make it to third and process repeats
3) the worst, the one which requires a paragraph to explain

The r word comes up. Are you dating this girl or not?
Why of fucking why do women have to ruin something fun and good with trying to get commitment or a relationship out of it. Now things will change again, if you had any other girls you were thinking of you have to (or atleast should) drop them.
You like the fooling around and you like the girl, but why is this the point that guys will sometimes put as much distance between them and her as possible? A forced relationship.

For example: before we go any further we should be boyfriend and girlfriend.
No. that only works for sex and marriage, hell foreplay and marriage.

Then if you say yes, does it change anything. It does not have to, however it usually will. If you say no, you cant even hang out with her anymore because you went there and honnestly there is no going back from that.

For example, girls I have fucked, being friends with them is...weird, having a girl who isnt them and them having a boyfriend who isnt you is kinda strange.

Everytime you see them you will think (if they were good)
I saw her naked and she fucks pretty good, god its such a distracting thing to be thinking during a conversation

If they werent good in bed you will be pitying the poor fucker who is fucking her now.

Still...sex and intimacy seems to ruin friendships. Because just being friends is weird because there was something more there once.

So perhaps I should not be asking why women ruin fooling around and sex by brining up the r word but why do we as humans ruin friendships by trying to fuck the opposite sex

Why do we lust? For me its redheads and milfs.

But still I ask, why does it have to be ruined by it having to be a relationship? Why cant sex be sex, why does there need to be an intimiacy and love? Really its just how we procreate, and love and intimacy has nothing to do with that, but why has society said it has to?

My fuck I would have been so happy years ago if girls were not pushing to be in a relationship and I had the spine to shoot them down.

In short, it really pisses me off when fuck buddys or friends with benefits start forcing a relationship. That being said, if you enjoy a friends company and it turns into sex...and it doesnt get weird and you never considered that person a friend with benefits or a fuck buddy, when the r word comes up it is not such a big deal. But if someone feels forced into a relationship, it will not end well. If it doesnt get weird, that is the closest thing to love that may exist.

Now: Awesome to not, its like a hot girl that is as dumb as a post or a girl who is moderately geeky and turns out to be clingy, or a girl who seems perfect and awesome for you...who starts telling you how to live your life, not as advisement, it would be like they know more than you and you are incapable of making the best decision for yourself.

Fucking cunts.

Ugh...I have met several awesome women who go cunt so quickly. Perhaps its just a one off thing who fucking knows but it bugs me. Like before, why is it when women are looking so fucking awesome they can so easily become such fucking cunts?

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

What the fuck

Well since none of my friends are online for me to vent at, I guess I will vent at you.

The fuck?
God this is turning out to be the year from hell...
Allright, first thing on my mind: I CANT FIND A FUCKING JOB

I dont mean some bullshit slacker job like mcdonalds or wal mart, A REAL FUCKING JOB IN THE FIELD I HAVE TRAINED IN.

I am getting an indication that this is because of a bad reference from my last place of employment.

Yeah, I have learned my lesson. Never work with teenagers.

So thats kinda getting in the way, so now it has been suggested to me that I go to all the places I have applied, find out if they called anyone and what they said about me.
In the event that I did receive a bad reference have an awkward and probably unpleasant conversation with that individual (who I would honestly just like to tell to FUCK OFF)

God damn thats going to be alot of driving and Im going to be alot of pissed off. I need to take up a new hobby.

Shooting perhaps. Maybe that is what I will do, buy a fucking gun and go to the range and just shot shit. Perhaps it will make me less pissed, or atleast let me not think about how pissed I am because I am holding 5 pounds of death dealing iron.

It would just be easier to drop 10 grand on trucking school and drive an 18 wheeler.

Now, for the what the fuck moment.

My friends have broken up.
Surprise I know, which friends you ask dear reader? The succubus and clingy guy.

I saw this coming for a bit, but the why kinda surprised me. She was not happy that the guy was hiding things from her and others and would only show it when he was stressed out and felt that he lacked conviction. He would say something, then not do it.

Once again a glorious case of a couple who vent to me and not each other.

Perhaps I should be a marriage counsellor.

She broke up with him, that I am not surprised over. I always had a feeling that she would eventually break his heart. He seemed to care about her ALOT more than she seemed to care about him. (however she tended to be the clingy one)

Anyway she was telling me this earlier, and literally NONE OF OUR FRIENDS IN THIS GROUP IS ONLINE.

Who the fuck do I have to say what the fuck to? NOBODY!

Now, this all aside. This is not a bad thing. They obviously were not going to work, if she could not figure him out enough to get him to open up about hiding or figure out what he was hiding then perhaps not best suitable mate at this time. If he could not motivate himself to stick to what he says to her, for her then perhaps not best suitable mate at this time.

He is my better friend, so I am going to take his side. Which is kinda rough for her, as all of our mutual friends were his friends first and then her friend after. I do not know how much support he will have though, this relationship costed him a bit. This is the couple I mentioned earlier how everyone felt they would only speak to them to use or manipulate them. Then that post upset my friend (probably because I was right)

However, he has still not spoken to me about it. He just ranted at her which by the sounds of things is what started this.

As in all break ups, that was not the only reason why. She had other issues with him, which were probably not addressed as soon as they should have been. Which is a shame, but these things happen.

This costed her alot as well, she tended to hang out with him and only him and his friends by proxy and was not out socializing or mingling as much as she could have been leaving her living with her ex, in a town where she does not know many people.

Well perhaps he can get some easy pussy out of this. I really need to talk to him, I dont think he is on the path to be like me, but could be much worse off. He was at the point in the relationship with the clinger where it was still fun for him and he liked her. Where I was at the point in the relationship were I was ready to cheat on the clinger because she had stopped being fun and became more of a stalker (and the fact that she lost her shit to my dad and called him a liar did not help her cause any either)

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Psyche of Anonymous

Let me get this out of the way. I follow the rules of the internet more or less.
So if you dont know what site I'm talking about, clearly you dont go on the fucking internet because its fucking everywhere now.

9Gaga, Reddit...all those 'funny' fail sites are the bastard anus offspring of one site.
These new sites exist because someone when to the source, filed out the shit and left the funny and posted it elsewhere. Actually not a half bad plan.

Problem is these inside jokes started to slowly invade real life (I dated a meme spamming robot with large tits. Kinda fun in bed, stupidly clingly and not fun otherwise)

In hindsight I think I would have enjoyed her more if I was just her friend and we played video games together.

That is beside the point, why must all this internet stuff be flooding into mainstream media. Fuck the internet is a place where I go to get away from reality, now reality is becoming the internet and I have no place to go to get away from anything, this is fucking crazy.

There is TV shows about fail videos, someone thinks they can make money off an internet thing that is not on the internet.

Oh MTV, you never disappoint.

Now its also fucking TLC, TLC used to have quality shows. Now its things like gypsies being slutty, an overweight family using their daughter as a barbie, a bunch of rednecks.

What do all these things have in common? They are stupid people with far too much money and time on their hands.

Hell you dont film that shit, those things are inside jokes you tell among friends not to the whole fucking world.

The internet has become a place to announce every single fucking detail of everyone single fucking persons fucking stupid assed day.


Some are funny, most are fucking stupid.

The world has basically become this website. Thank you summerfags for ruining the internet and real life by making them that one particular board. All the fucking time.

Now what of this psyche? Being anonymous. Simple, people do not know discreteness or tact any more (since they just announce anything, think it is funny and think they will make millions from youtube) 

I discussed that young woman being raped then killing herself. This is a prime example of this, people just do whatever the fuck they want, say what they want and on the internet there is no consequences (the consequences in this case really should not be the same)

Now, I am not for regulation of the internet. For every computer there would need to be a computer to spy on it. Half the population of the internet would need to be splying or policing the other half of the internet. There is no way that there could be the resources to make this happen so how do we regulate the internet?

How about fucking disciplining the fucking children?

I feel that many people my age (and maybe younger, definitly older) who are on the internet generally speaking are not the problem. The problem appears to be 12-20 year olds because lets face it, they cannot be fucked to find anything better to do, more marriages are failing, parenting is becoming worse.

What happened to society? Oh right...the internet.

Now when I was young, digital life and real life were separate. Online I am an ace pilot, super soldier and brilliant general. In real life I am not these things.

So why does anon behave the way it does? The answer is simple really.

They are bored, they cannot find anything to do in real life, and nothing to do online. So they will do whatever they feel could be amusing. It is a hive mind driven by boredom and pornography. If they are bored enough or they like whatever porn is presented to them enough they will do anything. This can be funny or bulliing, good or evil.

Anon are not hactivists, they are not vigilantes. They are just a bunch of people being bored as fuck. Lets face it, this generation has nothing to live for or fight for. Nothing hopeful. My father had space exploration, my grandparents had the world wars. This generation has terrorist attacks, fake half wars against an unseen enemy and the internet.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

RAM, Cheating and Pornstars

So...random access memories is out the 17 in austrailia...fack, oh well Ill have to wait until monday.

Now let us discuss this cheating thing...why the fuck do people do it? I know in my case my girlfriend was being really fucking clingy and pissing me the fuck off, so I had sex with a more attractive female to vent some steam.

Yes, I am a terrible fucking person.

But that aside, why do decent people cheat in relationships? I think they cheat in relationships for the same reason they cheat in video games.

1) They are bored, and want to do something they would not normally do.
Make yourself invincible and have infinite ammo. You could literally just walk around and shoot things terminator style, disregarding how they would normally play. Or in the case of relationships, fuck another individual disregarding their previous commitments.

2) Things are difficult or overwhelming
In a video game perhaps you are low on health or bullets, or are facing way too many bad guys. So just cheat to get through the hard part and continue on with the game. In a relationship (marriage in this case) this would usually be a financial reason. But sometimes everything becomes more difficult and you just want to get through it without putting in effort so you cheat which leads me to point #3

3) They want to do something easy
Cheating is all about sex, and sometimes you just need to get your rocks off. Find someone who is DTF and fucking do it. In a video game, hell sometimes I dont want to play this level, cheat and skip it or whatever.

What it really comes down to is boredom and difficulty  If a relationship becomes too boring or to difficult instead of ending it, people will just get through these times by fucking around.


This is just me, trying to figure out why the decent women I meet (but dont have a relationship with)
yes fuck off, I was beta as fuck during highschool. My friends from post secondary would have just fucking loved me then.

I have met awesome, decent and fucking beautiful women. Their boyfriends cheat on them, I have met badass guys, their girlfriends cheat on them

I am not sure what the relationship was like, but it doesnt matter. They did not deserve for that to happen.

For those of you who bother to read this shit and are in a relationship remember this.

It will be hard, there is no getting around that. However if you get through the difficult parts I would imagine the long term rewards are worth it.

If it gets boring try to change that.
There is more than one place to fuck.
There is more things to do.

Go and fucking find them.

Now, the psyche of pornstars. Why did they get into the industry? I believe I have mentioned that they all must have issues, probably daddy issues since that seems to be a popular one among females today.

What really made them decide to go into porn for a living? Perhaps some of them like it. There is more fucked up fetishes, like wanting to have sex with a woman who is much taller than you.

It is a fact that generally most people would love the idea of multiple partners. It is like sex squared, where as sex alot with one person is sex multiplied.

Multiple partners = exponential sex
Single partner multiple times = linear sex

both are growing, but multiple partners grows faster until it hits a barrier where a single partner grows slower forever. The growth is the sexual satisfaction.

That aside, so perhaps they like it. That a little weird, but once again there is more fucked up fetishes. Like car sex.

But not all of them could like it, it may just be a job for them. So why?

Which then gets to the real important question

What were pornstars like in highschool?

You cant say that you would not love to have gone to fucking highschool with Lisa Ann?

What were they like? Were they what they are now, or were they not confident with themselves? Were they beautiful women that no one chased after for one reason or another? Was there a trauma?

Let me cite the example of gigi riveria. She was a pornstar, and was living with charlie sheen...then that whole fiasco happened and her real name was revealed to the public. She apparantly did not tell her friends or family she was a porn star and she promptly retired.

She was fucking young, like 18-20 years old I think.

What the hell? Why did you get into porn, then not tell anyone?

Was she attractive - yes, she had that whole innocent schoolgirl look to her
She didnt tell anyone, she was afraid that they would not approve with her decision which shows
she values the opinion of her friends and family.
Typical of a daddys girl.

So I would assume that she got into porn to just fuck alot of people. she liked the attention (also a trait of a daddys girl)

High level attention whore...seems reason enough to get into porn. But she is not interesting, because she is young so trying to figure out what she was like in highschool (2 years ago) probably isnt that hard.

The milfs, the peter north the ron jeremy what were these people like and why did they do this? (other than the fact that mr north and mr jeremy can suck their own cocks)

Monday, May 13, 2013

p fucking s

Random Access Memories out on friday and Star trek into darkness also out on friday.
I am going to a city with whoever wants to see this movie with me.
Getting that CD
Buying 2 star trek hero clix ships (I was having so much luck with those until recently and boom, the last 4 were ships I already had. FACK)
Then watching that goddamned movie and fapping vigorously

To my friend who took issue with my blog and his lovely lady friend.
you guys never were like that towards me, once again for the record, but I could see how the others saw it their way.

Im usually right

allright, I was working on that last one for a few days...moving on to this.

People are having some issues with some of the shit I say here, it upsets them
Mission accomplished

It doesnt make them angry, It doesnt make them want to prove me wrong it just bugs them like I have got under their skin.

I have received on complain as such today, which sucks because it is from my friends girlfriend, you know the two that are inseparable, passively aggressively say things, talk through each other and have an ulterior motive(it seems) when they talk to you.

Turns out that upset him, she didnt even try to prove it wrong it just bugged him. Guess I must be right but it doesnt make me any better for it. Let me be a bit more clear about it.

This was never directed at me personally, but after it was mentioned by several of our mutual friends I saw it.
I am promising not to use names, I also said I would stay out of this shit but maim, you did say to me that you wanted to use me as a buffer between yourself and your boyfriends roommates. So fuck it, let me be the middle man and clear this shit up.

Your roomates were bugged, it seemed that your girlfriend was incapable of doing anything without you touching her or being within 1 meter, and they had a point.


that aside, what irritated them about this was they were unable to just talk to you about things without her gettting in the way or demanding your attention every 5 minutes.

Should they have said something sooner? Fuck yes. Should I? Fuck no, I dont live there and you guys dont really piss me off

I asked about you one day maim when you were quite upset and in the bathroom, contray to popular belief I give quite a few fucks about my friends and their opinions about me, Id like them to be positive and or funny.

Towards the end of your time living together they complained to me that you only spoke with them if you needed a favor, and you never just talked for the sake of talking or hung out for the sake of hanging out.

Once again, you never directed this at me, we just hung out and talked for the sake of hanging out and talking.

I am not sure what the problem is, perhaps it is the girlfriends lack of socialness. But honnestly if she doesnt feel like going out and dealing with that hipster filled hell hole claiming to be a university, I dont fucking blame her.

Perhaps friends should never move in together, its better to be roomates first, then friends later.

I will stand by that statement, and its nothing against (most) of my friends, but most of you guys I would not live with. There are some exceptions
My old first year roomate, we are decent friends now and Id live with him. I know what to expect.
My oldest friend I think we could live quite well together
My former wingman for DJing/tactical officer in my crew I would if you didnt smoke so much weed
My neighbour in res - same as above
My naked environmental science major friend - I would, I still feel quite terrible about using lysol as mace on you and wish we were monkeys and it was socially acceptable for me to give you a blow job as compensation.

...fuck this list goes on...I guess I could easily justify living with just about all my friends with a few exceptions.

my gay friend- you are awesome, but I feel that my opinions differ from yours and I will very often say something that upsets you greatly you just dont show it or go to your room for a minute. No offence bro, but we would be miserable together.

and any females, Im not fucking liviing with you. you piss blood, peroid shit, leave your underwear in strange places and unless you are fucking me you will be nothing more than a cock tease.

Point being
you should not live with your friends, you like your friends because you hang out with them and hanging out with them for all the time seems like a good idea but I feel that in practice it generally wont work and can ruin friendships. Dont live with your friends, live with roomates and if you become friends eventually fucking great, but let it happen that way.