Sunday, April 15, 2018

NO NEED TO SURVIVE THIS SATURDAY

I HAD THE NIGHT OFF

you know what that means?

THATS RIGHT, DRIVE AN HOUR TO WHERE MY FRIEND IS DJING AND HANG OUT WITH HIM ALL NIGHT

christ I have no life

I never thought I would say this about his town, I mean my dad grew up there but

anyway, its way more fun than this place, and it has no reason being as such

well it does have a few more post secondary schools, but fucking hell there were a pair of twins out who looked like they could pass as 14?

quesquiellephuck

But it also had:

Lady in red pants, excellent ass. I was hoping her friends could keep her facing away from us all night, medium out of 10 success on that.

There was a lady in a light top and dark bottoms. Perfect breasts

as a connoisseur of breasts I know quality, and those were excellent

oh, btw the twins one and or both of them had the same boyfriend and he just kept bouncing between the both of them.

You are living the dream man

Lady in leather pants, bold. We liked it.

It was fun, they were loud energetic, and not looking to hook up.

I think thats the problem with this town, everyone is kinda greedy. Its why I didnt buy a car here

Its why all its businesses fail

Its why it looses all potential business deals

not only financially greedy, but sexually greedy

FIRST and I have mentioned this before

men for whatever reason dont use condoms

"It feels like showering with your socks on"

well, [redacted]

that was mean, I had to take that one out. Speaking as a former swimmer and sort of life guard (had the training, never did the job) we have worn much clothes in the water it isnt the discomfort that is the problem, it makes swimming hard. Good for training I guess

SECOND

all the sluts in town

a) are not on birth control (waaah it gives me acne and my exema or however you spell it acts up waaaah hormonal etc etc etc etc)

I have refused sex with women before because they werent on birth control. I always use condoms, why

BECAUSE IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT [REDACTED]

sorry to my former co-workers, I just feel you are terribly irresponsible for practicing unsafe sex with a woman you have no intention of marrying and or being in a long and meaningful relationship with

b) these same sluts do not believe in abortions or morning after pills (waaaaah its taking a life)

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS TOWN

yes, accidents happen however the risk can be mitigated by being smart

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

inhale

sigh

inhale, again

all this to say they had more fun because they went out not expecting/wanting to get laid.

They pay almost double the cover that we charge, their drinks are roughly the same price.

Its totally the people around here, there just isnt enough quality human beings. Maybe Im saying it because I grew up here, but I have seen other small towns, been to other shit places (fuck you Fredericton)

and it will never matter what I play or how good I play it so Im going to keep doing what I do. Take requests, be fun and engaging and try my best to keep this negativity out of my work

there may be other factors too, the nearest city is about 45 minutes from here, 20 minutes to the next university town where as my buddies spot has one or two colleges in it and is about an hour to the next city

but based on the people who refuse to pay cover even though i mix my ass off for them
play their shitty requests
and generally just dont show up that frequently

lets say I understand why my friend said that this is killing DJing for him, the difference being I will not let that happen to me.

Ive had shit jobs, and shit bosses for the career I want out of life. They have not and will not ruin flying for me

here at this bar the staff are awesome and fun.

I have had two different managers who are easily the best (and most attractive) people I have worked for

There is some regulars who come in, and ask for the same songs but they are energetic and excellent dancers and hella fun

as much as I gripe that crazy busy nights dont happen often enough that is my happy place and Im looking forward to next weekend, busy or not.

Djing is always going to be fun, and always going to be a great hobby

Friday, April 13, 2018

surviving (another) saturday

tl:dr my partner had a bit of a spell and for the time being it is only me DJing

good thing too, this is literally the only thing keeping me from going crazy because Im not a real pilot yet.

I dont even remember the last two saturdays

wait, yes I do. Started with Easter.

I volunteer at a church in town, running sound, what do you expect? Anyway, to the Catholics easter is kind of a big deal, so they had a service which was just shy 3 hours. I was there from about 7:30 to after 10.

I grabbed a chocolate bar and dr. pepper and ran right to the bar and started getting ready for my set. May as well I live about 10 minutes outside of town, be kind of a waste to drive all the way back.

So it was a weird night, not really busy but sort of steady?

People came in, danced a little, drank once and if they stayed they shot pool and if not they left.

Same thing happened last weekend actually.

I have come to the conclusion that is not likely me. I play all requests I can (provided I have the song and time)

Im engaging and fun, because you know representing the bar and all that shit

I know this is an awkward time of year for not university towns, things will likely pick up come summer time but Im starting to think the people around here dont want to come to a dance bar often.

Sure, I have the regulars, the slim black lady I will learn your name I promise you are always fun.

Your friend, who always asks for necessary evil you are always fun

Teasing the ex (you know who you are) you are also always fun

etc

etc

etc

I know people by what song they requests

hey, your the girlfriend of the guy who keeps asking for lincoln park (jokingly) you piss me off and make me laugh at the same time, keep it up

HEY, you asked for partition, I have it now. That song is pretty much a porn

Ahh slim black lady, one of the 5 black people in this town. Its alright, Im one of the 4 first nations around...

Christ the east coast really IS white

You always ask for 90's (good) r&b, hip hop and rap.

I mean that was the time of the west/east rivalry which actually got musicians killed so the music better be fucking dope

But I am getting tired of salt n pepa. I never thought I would say that, how about I mix it up with a little TLC next time?

Ahh former cadets. You ask for former cadet dance songs, 90s/00s dance you know REAL electronica and ignition.

I had a crush on your older sister, thought she was out of my league then and I was shy as fuck when I was 14

and tomorrow is another saturday, and I will pray to the DJ gods what I pray for every week.

Fun and safety for those who go out, and my bar to be a god damned zoo.

Sunday, February 25, 2018

surviving (more) saturdays

Ever have a set where you just feel off about it,

like no matter what you try, what request you play it feels like the exact opposite song you should play at that moment?

That was my set two weeks ago

It didnt help that I had a drunk cunt, come up and complain about not playing her requests.

She never left one, she did this 2 or 3 times.

Then when a song someone else requested came up, she gave me the arms up kinda 'this is what im talking about, this is my request' flail.

This blog may soon become me shaming drunk white girls, specifically of that race.

The term white girl wasted is a thing after all...

Dont get me started on the cringey, semi ballroom dancing my friend and his lady were doing

YOU ARE OFF TEMPO

THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT SONG

THAT ISNT EVEN SWING DANCING

THE BEARD DOES NOT HELP MATTERS

(half kidding, I love you man)

but seriously 3 out of those 4 were what was going through my mind.

Not that I dislike formal, ballroom dancing but swing dancing kinda became awkward and cringy after seeing who was involved in my old university.

When they thought swing, they thought couples first

[insert shudders here]

NONE OF THEM WERE EVEN HOT ENOUGH TO BE WORTH SWINGING WITH

 EXCEPT FOR THE LESBIAN WITH NICE LEGS

*cough*

getting back on track, so two weeks in a row, I had one person talk to me each night that basically ruined it for me.

Yes I know you cant please everyone

Yes I know I shouldnt let that shit bother me

but I do this for fun, I do this to relieve stress. For whatever reason it does

You know what though?

LAST NIGHT TOTALLY MADE UP FOR IT

Downside: saw two people I know, Kat and Marson. Kat came up and did they hey [omg i know you] HEY! thing

downside: she didnt have a bra on, her breasts were not as good looking as I remember

upside: she has generally gotten more attractive? I cant say that often about people I knew in high school

Marson, fuck sakes the guy is like 7 feet tall now. I remember him when he was 2'3" and learning to swim.

His old man was the teacher who was in charge of the school DJ group, and according to marsons older brother takes great pride (and credit) that I am still plugging away at this.

Really, it was about half a dozen guys who I learned from

Legere, some big guy up the road who said to me on the bus "you should join"
mootry and simmons who taught me initally
chris, chris and I forget the 3rd DJs name from mta who helped me refine the craft

along the way I worked with some fun guys

Nick, Korey, Jon, Ian, other Jon, Matt, Will, Brad, Dave

and to lesser extents

Ben, Zac, Dylan, Brandon

bet you guys didnt think I remember all of your names :p also for this post only fuck hiding names.

If you read this and know me irl, you know who these guys are and if you dont, you wont either way it doesnt really matter.

BUT

last night, I had inspiration. Many exceptional looking ladies, thank fuck.

and a couple whose tits were falling out of the sides of their sort of shirt. I should really check those photos before uploading to facebook

oh well

One, sounded like a francophone lady. And those who know me know I have a particular weakeness for the french.

So shes speaking broken english, then trying to speak spanish to me. While drunk. At a loud bar.

Lady im pretty fluid in drunken chick, but I am not that good. I think she was marsons lady, if not they seemed that way.

If you werent plowing here like a snow filled road last night man, I am medium dissapointed in you. 

It was 93 night, which the put the kibosh to about 3 songs in. Every once in a while I would try and put on an oldie.

But when I did it literally murdered my dance floor.

These kids thought 'classics' and '90s' music were things like moulin rouge (that one with xtina, pink etc)

I dont have the hear to tell them that those are 2000s not 90s songs.

I feel like they may be having a quarter life crisis, realzing that they are in their mid 20s

Poor kids, I guess if you plan on not living forever age scares you. Not me of course, Im living forever, I dont care about getting older or dieing since neither are going to happen.

"I thought it was 90s night"

no, its 93

"This isnt 90s music"

I know, no one wants to hear it

"[requests a no 90s song]"

thats not 90s either

...yup

this has become shaming drunk white females: the blog. Sigh

some of them must think they are hot shit,

well they are half right

that aside, it was a fun crowd, because yes they all chirped me about the 90s, but they didnt want to hear that much 90s.

Like, fun 90s music started around the bubblegum pop in the late 90s which was mostly an early 2000s thing anyway or old 80s hiphop which was mostly an 80s thing anway.

The 90s were weird, good tv but music couldnt decide if it wanted to be nostalgic and good, or new and different.

It made for completely different tones, and oddly old and unheard of musicians charting at the same time.

ie: meatloaf was relevant, however haddaway was just starting to be a thing. meat load was 70s glam rock ballad, haddaway was pseudo electionic, dance kinda 80s sounding synth stuff.

I ended on heart shaped box by nirvana, good tune. Probably wont play it again.

I got to play tom petty, that smell and informer. It was a weird but really fun set.

Also, Kat (possibly a lesbian now

I like that kind of music, but it wouldnt fly here...crazy bitch may

WHICH REMINDS ME, WHY THE FUCK DO WE NOT HAVE A NORMAL VERSION OF THAT SONG

I hate using remixes mostly, people come out to hear music they way its on the radio and on their phones.

I LOVE THE BOUNCE, THEY LOVE THE BOUNCE

but they would like to hear it normal most of the time.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Surviving Saturday

ok, I have some salt and grievances to air out about tonight

here we go

If I am too loud, just tell me. No need to be a dick about

No bartender you do not say this about me every week.
This is the second time

Next time you are on I will play some quiet jazz

I DO NOT TELL YOU HOW TO BE A BETTER BARTENDER

fuck sakes, you know the type. The guys who have 'seniority' they act like bosses, they like giving orders but not being responsible.

Thats this guy, and until tonight I thought things were good

Should I talk to my manager about it? Nah, not worth it

Last time I tried talking to supervisors about shit like this I was pulled off the flight line on my last job, so I guess I'll just have to suck it up and take comfort in the fact that pricks at work are rarely punished.

SECOND

not really much of a grievance really but I had two muses tonight

like two women who didnt make me want to be out there dancing with them but made me want to dj better, and they were easy to read it make choosing music much better

and by their own choice, they never pick up people at the bar, I kinda admire that strength of will however one of them tends to lead guys on, then proceeds to shoot them down at the end of the night gloriously.

In my experience if a guy makes a move like that and is shot down, he is unlikely to try again while sober, too nervous at that point

Simple solution: dont try to pick up fellas, but thats a blog for another time, that I feel I have written about ad nauseam.

And not only that but this one tends to be a mother hen! I mean granted, it was probably good she shot down the guy for her friend...because I think her friend is in a serious/long term/exclusive whatever the fuck you want to call it relationship

that one said she misses my friends dick

oh, btw, there are people here who I have been djing for, for 13 years. Since I first stared in high school.

Ive come a long way since then in terms of music taste, intuition and skill

however I have been asked to play the same songs for 13 years.

Rock this party still comes on
California dreaming was requested
Salt n pepa
you can do it

I try to have a different set every time I play however certain songs often come up, and last night was the weirdest set Ive done.

It was the poppiest?

I planned on starting with classic rock, I had about a dozen wall flowers, drinking, watching the olympics and shooting pool.

It was slow rock, back in black 93bpm and something possessed me
I started getting faster

as I got faster people came in, surprisingly older people. It was kinda a cougar crowd.

they asked for the biebez, sheeran and bruno.

I can do that

Then came the 90's stuff

then ACDC?

then someone asked for the remix of california dreaming

THAT NEVER HAPPENS

I love this woman, one from high school...didn't recognize her

I thought she was a blond, and taller/slim build...

Either I remember nothing

or I am going crazy because I am passing through multiple universes

either way, I ended up not finishing on a slow song. Not my style, but there was not many couples to speak of

One girl, fantastic breasts was making out with a guy in a touque, they didnt go home together.

I have a feeling that may be from the mother hen I mentioned earlier, but I dont know.

That being said, the guy she shot down was pretty belligerently drunk

One of the bouncers almost got pushy, he has a hell of a lot of patience. I was waiting for him to yell "roundhouse" and watch him go all road house on someone

then the end of the night "im too loud"

I cant read this guy well, so I dont know if he is screwing with me...I get the feeling that he isnt and I shouldnt take him seriously. Oh well

lesson: fuck off fast, I need to stop lingering after the night. a) your co workers cant piss you off if you have already left
b) you dont need to hear the incoherent babbling of the patrons

sigh he was right though, I did get a little out of hand.

Last time this happened, they staff had to tell me to turn it up for months...Its been a while since I fucked up, that was the guy to call me out on it too. I shouldnt hate him, hes keeping me considerate and in line.

But he is still a prick about it

Monday, November 13, 2017

New weekend, Same bar

So its been a while since I've done one of these, this past weekend I didn't DJ so I went out to the bar anyway to razz the other DJ because I'm bored as shit and I live for that.

It was quite the crew in, his ex (the one he can't seem to get over which is silly because his current lady is literally one billion times more awesome and attractive than she is)

SWEET FUCK OTHER DJ FORGET THIS OTHER CUNT

I'm getting side tracked. We will start with Halloween, I was at not the bar I normally am at.

That was a cluster fuck, I get asked that afternoon if I can do it and am sent scrambling for music and gear and somehow I pull it the fuck off.

It was fun, small dance floor Im on it at a table, not above it in a booth. I like being on the same level

I also hate it because there was this one lady (definition of hot mess, as in hot as fuck and totally messed up)

She confessed her undying love for me, shes my kind of crazy. Too bad she was wayyyy to impaired to give consent. Oh well.

She was grinding and dancing on all my gear, gave me something nice to look at, however it began to compromise the speaker stands structural integrity. It was pulling the sheet off the table.

I was afraid shit was going to go flying, then I saw him. Dressed in red and white stripes.

Waldo. I have found you. I started trying to telepathically him to dance with this girl before everything falls down and explodes.

He listened. Eventually.

For a very short time.

Fuck,

it was long enough for me to secure the gear anyway.

The weekend after was country night

This is the second country night, first one was less than successful. This one, more successful...after I stopped playing country music.

Seriously, I play party up by DMX then county girl? hip hop in a honkey tonk? I dont remember. One of those up beat, boot scooting...sorry boot scootin' country songs.

The country killed my dancefloor, not a single person. Seems that country music is only good for getting people to the bar to get drinks.

Sigh

So my people who knew it was country night, and helped me get country songs for it ended up not showing up?

You country music fans dont even want to listen to country music, it must be that bad.

A co-worker (from my real adult job) said they would have just kept playing country music, as advertised.

I like them, but I see why the dancefloor at the bar they worked at may not have lasted long. You need to adapt, as a DJ you are a slave to the dancefloor. Give it what it wants.

Me personally I like keeping a positive vibe, playing requests. Also if you shout at me from the dance floor, I am likely going to turn up the music.

Also I'll play the song, because fuck it, if you are not going to take requests you may as well just be an iPod on shuffle.

I tried to sneak in as much country as possible, however people wanted to hear the classic hip hop r&b and rap that they always want.

Ignition, 21 questions, party up, you can do it, nelly, eminem etc

But you know what, when I am allowed to run a muck. There are no requests, I get into my electronic and dance music (NOT edm, that is not dance-y and barely qualifies to be music sometimes)

Rock this party, Neils van gough, bodybangers, benny benassi. They are dancing and moving more.

It is as if those songs are perfect for high energy and positive vibes...by design.

Sigh

All music has a place, I am not much of a fan of dubstep and country but they have their place and uses. I do not know much heavy metal or hard rock, but I like what I know.

Im getting better with rap, r&b and hip-hop.

The problem is each genre of music has a tone and a feel to it, emotionally.

Blues and country (and by extension r&b somewhat) have a bit of a sad tone. It is music that is made to get out sadness, loss of a loved one, truck or dog. Loss of a job. Basically a change you don't like, even the upbeat songs sometimes have depressing lyrics to them.

I think of these genre of music and I imagine the lone musician, maybe an instrument. Sitting down, exhausted with life then singing about it, feeling better and moving on.

Rap is similar, except its very angry. You are mad about something, mad about a change or situation.
I heard once that rap is about the angst, anger, rage at the system, rage at something you can no longer change.

Think about it, its about killing, gang banging, whores drugs etc.

Rap was never meant to glorify this lifestyle, it was a reflection of the old life the musicians had or knew about and how angry they were at that life, what they did, why it happened and why it had to happen.

They sang their song, screamed it to the heavens really, took a breath then moved on.

These days with all the overlap of music you cant say that anger is excursively rap or country is exclusively sad.

Think about Taylor Swifts new album. Generally speaking I don't like her music, I can't question her talent or production quality however the fuel for her albums is pure poison.

She seems to date guys to break up with them badly, pretend that she was the victim then write about it.

The whole Kanye thing, he is another guy who perhaps is too much ego for his talent and music (like Taylor)

However blaming him for the monster you became? No Taylor. You made yourself this way, you made the decisions.

Don't get me wrong, Kanye is a self centred prick but I expect that to be changing soon. The whole going crazy mental break-down thing.

As an aside, I wonder if his self centred attitude and music was actually a cry for help and everyone missed it for about 10 years. That would suck, I hope Im wrong about that...

getting back on track, what you use to make the song, the fuel, is the kind of music that will be made.

cheating on a lover will result in a sad, self reflective and maybe angry song while a song about an awesome partner will be reflective in a sappy kind of way in a way that focues on the inspiration and not like the singer.

The genres of music I seem to dislike have a similar fuel, country seems to be all about lost lovers, dogs and broken trucks. Rap seems to be about a dislike for your old life, friends and how you got there. Taylor Swift feels nothing but poison for everyone around her and it shows in her music

I like keeping a positive vibe, high energy everyone having fun. No one picks up at the bar I DJ at, so may as well make sure they have fun.

But this speaks volumes about the location I'm in, honestly everyone got tired of fucking in high  school. Explains why there are so many unplanned pregnancies...

The bar is meant to be an escape, leave your problems outside and come in and enjoy yourself, or bring them in and get some advice from others. Either way, here for a short time your problems are not problems and I want the music and dance floor to reflect that.

You will pay for it in the morning, well all do. But you know, maybe a short time away from a problem is the best way to find a solution, because after a while you stop looking for a solution and only focus on the problem, we loose sight of the big picture.

I know I have


Monday, October 9, 2017

SWEET FUCKING SHIT [redacted]

why am I back here, on this ancient form of media?

WHY

Why am I back trying to tell guys how to pick up women better.

WHY

FUCKING

WHY

Why do people watch keys to the VIP as a tutorial and not a comedy

FUCKING

WHY

FUCK

I should start from the beginning. I wanted to go to dances, to make out with chicks however my parents wouldnt let me go to any (mom for religious reasons, dad because of moms religious reasons)

Ok, maybe too far back.

Saturday, I DJ. Again, I fucking love that job. Anyway an old DJ buddy of mine is out he always wants to hang out, but he always wants to hang out to use me as a wingman as he attempts to (poorly) pick up women.

[redacted], this blog is for you.

He thinks that he needs to go out and pick up women.
Wrong, going out for the exclusive purpose to pick up women leads to misery.

a) People do not pick up at bars the way you see on movies and TV.
- if they did more people would be going out more often and more early, as it stands no one is in a bar before 12.
b) If you are obviously out for the purpose of picking up, it makes picking up more difficult
- if you are a dude you come off as desperate and generally chicks dont dig that
- if you are a chick you come off as slutty and dudes dont chase after sluts first
c) Personally, it kills the vibe. I want positivity, fun, energy and dancing. The type of crowd (predators) who go out to pick up often kill this

He thinks that he needs to focus on multiple women.
Wrong, the more women you try to pick up the less chance you have of picking any up
a) Having options is bullshit, go all in.
-people appreciate the effort, if you dont give them the attention or effort they think they deserve then it wasnt going to happen anyway
b) Every other person you try to pick up definitely makes you look less appealing to the previous one
-the first one you try with will find you less appealing as they see you trying to pick up others.
c) It divides your focus, you get distracted and sloppy
-enough said

So therefore, here is how you try and pick up women.

Rule 1 - Do not try and pick up women
-go out for drinks, pool, dancing, socializing, fun. But do not go out to pick up

Rule 2 - Do not be afraid to take time
-It will not happen tonight, this does not mean it will not happen the next time. Do not be afraid to chat up the same girls week to week if you see them out, things will be easier if you have a rapport with them

Rule 3 - Engage the whore train at your own risk
-Women always go out in groups larger than the groups men go out in. There is an alpha, there is a mother hen, there is a buzzkill. Avoid these kinds of women

Rule 4 - Do not abandon your wingmen
-Have friends, do not ever abandon them during an engagement unless they are going in for the kill

Rule 5 - Know the staff
-If you can socialize with the bartenders, staff DJ's and they like you they can chat you up, or if nothing else will not say your a creepy rapist.

Rule 6 - Do not get drunk
- You need to stay in control of your actions, so drink responsibly

Rule 7 - Do not engage drunks
- Drunk people cant fuck worth shit and are unpredictable, go for people who are drinking responsibly

Rule 8 - Do not be afraid to dance
- enough said

Rule 9 - Do not be afraid to fuck up
- still enough said

Rule 10 - You will get shot down
- deal with it

I feel like I have said this before...no matter

To be nicer about this
Women go out in squadrons, men go out in wings.

A squadron of women (or squad) will have different types
The Alpha/Leader. this woman is the most attractive, intelligent, charming, successful. This is a difficult target, and may or may not want to be a target. You should not go after this women for a pick up, this one is wife material.

The Escort this woman is the most sober/responsible and her job is to make sure her friends have a good time and no one takes advantage of them. Generally not looking to pick up and will only shoot down if she thinks her friend is too good for the guy.

The Ace this one love shooting down men, this one is like the escort however will prevent any engagement from happening. Engage at own risk, best left for a wingman to distract while the leader goes for the primary

A wing of men also have different types
The Alpha - the lead of the group
The Lead - the one who is looking to pick up
The Wingmen - the ones who help the lead pick up

In a group of men the lead and wingmen can change as the targets change. The Alpha often is not out looking to pick up, they are the responsible one, DD and will watch as the lead and wingmen engage from the sidelines.

The Primary - the main (but not necessarily) first target of the night,
The Secondary - the back up and/or targets the wingmen go after to allow the lead to get the primary
The Tertiary - the target for the alpha if the wigmen are otherwise engaged.

If the lead is allowed to engage anything other than the primary then the chances of them successful engaging are dropped significantly.

Women will often use swarm tactics, as a result it can be difficult to determine who their primary is and who their lead is. This is what wingmen are for, wingmen are not out to pick up, they are out to make sure the lead can, the wingmen/wingman pulls the swarm from his lead in theory only leaving him and their lead. If not then it becomes the lady lead, an escort and an ace with maybe a 4th, much better odds and much easier for the guy to figure out.

You will not have a successful engagement if it is  < 3 on 1.

Fun fact: women generally go out in groups that out number male groups by a factor of 4.
Another fun fact: This does not mean there are generally 4 women for each man, in practice it is more like 1.5 women to each man.

Men use divide and conquer tactics, they try to isolate the primary target which is good and bad.
If she isnt down, then this comes across as creepy and/or the ace or escort will come in and shoot down the man.

No confirmed kills for anyone today

So gents, if you isolate the primary and she seems a bit uncomfortable then disengage. Try her again another week, move on to another target doesnt matter but that one will not be happening tonight.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Types of Crowd

Pop, Rap and Country

basically energetic, salty and trendy. That is, generally speaking the 3 types of crowds you will have to DJ for.

Energetic crowds, just about anything goes, keep the bass pumping and play some old pop standards, some cheesy shit. This crowd you really need to look at the age of them, play songs from their adolescence. Easy to play for, fun to play for. All crowds should be energetic. More girls than guys

Salty crowds, they want to hear shit music, music that is hard to dance to and kinda kills the mood. Really angry/angsty stuff. Think not awesome lincoln park and rap. This is a crowd of wall flowers and will heckle you, play better music and the like. Take their requests and try to find a patter, but be warned you will fuck up, they will not like it. This crowd is out trying to pick up women. Hard to play for, not fun to pay for, generally speaking more males than females.

Trendy crowds, this crowd is like an energetic crowd but they prefer trendy music, not popular music. So they will ask for obscure old songs, one hit wonders sort of things. They will ask for old trendy, good rap, they will want to hear a lot of last years top 40. This crowd can be annoying just because of the variance in what they want to hear. Generally speaking they do not want to hear much electro/dance stuff. They like old rap, new country and last years top 40. Can be easy or hard to play for, and fun or not. Equal number of ladies to gents.

Then there are the people who go out.

Boozers, Predators and Dancers.

Boozers are there just to drink, opportunistic to dancing and picking up women but are generally just wall flowers, pool sharks. They will start clearing out at last call and be there  before you start. They usually complain about the music but make no requests.

Predators are there to pick up people, for sex. They show up late and leave after closing. They don't drink much at the bar (usually heavy predrinking) They are wall flowers until the see someone they want to fuck then they go nuts (usually poorly) on the dance floor. Their skill comes from their charm and charisma, that is why they leave late, they are chatting up some people as the finish their drinks on the way out. These ones will make silly requests thinking it will help them seal the deal

Dancers are there to dance, may or may not predrink, but they will usually grab a drink, dance, get bored grab another drink dance etc. They can leave super early or stay until your last song. They request reasonable songs, and will often ask for the same one week in and week out.

Then there is wall flowers and pool sharks, these ones don't drink there are just there to hang out, shoot pool or play the vlts. If they start drinking they will become one of the top 3 types of patron

Your energetic crowd is likely to be more dancers, some predators and few boozers.
Your salty crowd is likely to be mostly predators and boozers with few dancers.
Your trendy crowd is going to be an equal mix of predators, dancers and boozers.

A crowd is going to behave in a way that makes sense regarding the dominant type of personality. A salty crowd is salty because there are alot of people there looking to just pick up and have a good time, pro tip, picking up women like you see in movies and tv shows is much more difficult than it seems and not nearly as spontaneous as it seems.

Example. when I was a pilot in Fredericton. I give not enough fucks about that place to protect the identities of my former coworkers one of the guys, rampage would go out and pick up women. Two things to note about this
The first time they were picked up, there was some serious making out, maybe some heavy stroking on the dance floor but they did not go home together.
The other thing to note is if they DID go home together they were likely talking over tinder or had some knowledge of each other before.

So all you guys who go out, hope to meet some babe and fuck her brains out, I'm sorry that's not likely to happen.

What will guarantee that is going out, meeting some babe and NOT coming off as a creep and exchanging phone numbers and flirty texts. If you play hard and correctly 2 saturdays out you will be fucking her.

They are salty because they want to pick up, cant or fail to and then blame the DJ. They don't buy many drinks.

An energetic crowd has a lot of dancers
Protip: watch how a girl dances, the hotter the dancer the better the fucker.
This crowd is just happy and energetic, Keep them happy keep them dancing. They buy a fair amount of drinks.

A trendy crowd depends on who is there, if there is more people looking to hook up or pool sharks, its hard and not fun. If its a bunch of boozers or wall flowers its pretty easy but not as fun. If its more dancers then its easy and fun. Because of the types of patrons this crowd can be like an energetic crowd or like a salty crowd, and it can change quickly. It is the MOST important to take requests from this crowd.

Now notice that I have said hot dancer, and not really gotten into the physical attractiveness of people.
I've seen fucking models be the best dancer out there, I've also seen them be wall flowers and have had (confirmed information from a boyfriend) they they were fucking awful in bed.

How hot someone looks outside the dance floor can certainly make sex enjoyable, but how the move on the dance floor is what will make it pleasurable.

Of the women I have had sex with the ones I have had the most fun fucking have been ones who are the most fun to look at while dancing, it helped that they were at least medium levels of hot.

One girl...I will call her the amazon, because she is built like one, she isn't a tiny skinny model, she was good in bed and good on the dance floor, so your hotness has nothing to do with how well you fuck, its your confidence.

That is why hot dancers are good fuckers, they have more confidence, to move like that and know you are looking great, or not care and know how to do it in a way that wont hurt yourself. Huge confidence, and it boosts your confidence the more you try and are successful, its a beautiful circle of you dance better, are more confident so you dance better etc

People who want to pick up are likely not confident in their dancing ability, because if they were a) they would dance more which leads to b) they would pick up more which leads to c) they would not be predators. These are boozers, they either eventually become a predator or a dancer.

Boozers are likely the worst at sex of the 3 (not saying they are bad, but they are not likely as good as predators or dancers, because if they were they would be a predator or dancer)

Predators are decent at the fuck, decent enough that they want more of it and confident enough that they can woo a dancer, but not confident enough to be a dancer.

If a persons confidence changes, that affects if they are a boozer dancer or predator