Sunday, June 11, 2017

Types of Crowd

Pop, Rap and Country

basically energetic, salty and trendy. That is, generally speaking the 3 types of crowds you will have to DJ for.

Energetic crowds, just about anything goes, keep the bass pumping and play some old pop standards, some cheesy shit. This crowd you really need to look at the age of them, play songs from their adolescence. Easy to play for, fun to play for. All crowds should be energetic. More girls than guys

Salty crowds, they want to hear shit music, music that is hard to dance to and kinda kills the mood. Really angry/angsty stuff. Think not awesome lincoln park and rap. This is a crowd of wall flowers and will heckle you, play better music and the like. Take their requests and try to find a patter, but be warned you will fuck up, they will not like it. This crowd is out trying to pick up women. Hard to play for, not fun to pay for, generally speaking more males than females.

Trendy crowds, this crowd is like an energetic crowd but they prefer trendy music, not popular music. So they will ask for obscure old songs, one hit wonders sort of things. They will ask for old trendy, good rap, they will want to hear a lot of last years top 40. This crowd can be annoying just because of the variance in what they want to hear. Generally speaking they do not want to hear much electro/dance stuff. They like old rap, new country and last years top 40. Can be easy or hard to play for, and fun or not. Equal number of ladies to gents.

Then there are the people who go out.

Boozers, Predators and Dancers.

Boozers are there just to drink, opportunistic to dancing and picking up women but are generally just wall flowers, pool sharks. They will start clearing out at last call and be there  before you start. They usually complain about the music but make no requests.

Predators are there to pick up people, for sex. They show up late and leave after closing. They don't drink much at the bar (usually heavy predrinking) They are wall flowers until the see someone they want to fuck then they go nuts (usually poorly) on the dance floor. Their skill comes from their charm and charisma, that is why they leave late, they are chatting up some people as the finish their drinks on the way out. These ones will make silly requests thinking it will help them seal the deal

Dancers are there to dance, may or may not predrink, but they will usually grab a drink, dance, get bored grab another drink dance etc. They can leave super early or stay until your last song. They request reasonable songs, and will often ask for the same one week in and week out.

Then there is wall flowers and pool sharks, these ones don't drink there are just there to hang out, shoot pool or play the vlts. If they start drinking they will become one of the top 3 types of patron

Your energetic crowd is likely to be more dancers, some predators and few boozers.
Your salty crowd is likely to be mostly predators and boozers with few dancers.
Your trendy crowd is going to be an equal mix of predators, dancers and boozers.

A crowd is going to behave in a way that makes sense regarding the dominant type of personality. A salty crowd is salty because there are alot of people there looking to just pick up and have a good time, pro tip, picking up women like you see in movies and tv shows is much more difficult than it seems and not nearly as spontaneous as it seems.

Example. when I was a pilot in Fredericton. I give not enough fucks about that place to protect the identities of my former coworkers one of the guys, rampage would go out and pick up women. Two things to note about this
The first time they were picked up, there was some serious making out, maybe some heavy stroking on the dance floor but they did not go home together.
The other thing to note is if they DID go home together they were likely talking over tinder or had some knowledge of each other before.

So all you guys who go out, hope to meet some babe and fuck her brains out, I'm sorry that's not likely to happen.

What will guarantee that is going out, meeting some babe and NOT coming off as a creep and exchanging phone numbers and flirty texts. If you play hard and correctly 2 saturdays out you will be fucking her.

They are salty because they want to pick up, cant or fail to and then blame the DJ. They don't buy many drinks.

An energetic crowd has a lot of dancers
Protip: watch how a girl dances, the hotter the dancer the better the fucker.
This crowd is just happy and energetic, Keep them happy keep them dancing. They buy a fair amount of drinks.

A trendy crowd depends on who is there, if there is more people looking to hook up or pool sharks, its hard and not fun. If its a bunch of boozers or wall flowers its pretty easy but not as fun. If its more dancers then its easy and fun. Because of the types of patrons this crowd can be like an energetic crowd or like a salty crowd, and it can change quickly. It is the MOST important to take requests from this crowd.

Now notice that I have said hot dancer, and not really gotten into the physical attractiveness of people.
I've seen fucking models be the best dancer out there, I've also seen them be wall flowers and have had (confirmed information from a boyfriend) they they were fucking awful in bed.

How hot someone looks outside the dance floor can certainly make sex enjoyable, but how the move on the dance floor is what will make it pleasurable.

Of the women I have had sex with the ones I have had the most fun fucking have been ones who are the most fun to look at while dancing, it helped that they were at least medium levels of hot.

One girl...I will call her the amazon, because she is built like one, she isn't a tiny skinny model, she was good in bed and good on the dance floor, so your hotness has nothing to do with how well you fuck, its your confidence.

That is why hot dancers are good fuckers, they have more confidence, to move like that and know you are looking great, or not care and know how to do it in a way that wont hurt yourself. Huge confidence, and it boosts your confidence the more you try and are successful, its a beautiful circle of you dance better, are more confident so you dance better etc

People who want to pick up are likely not confident in their dancing ability, because if they were a) they would dance more which leads to b) they would pick up more which leads to c) they would not be predators. These are boozers, they either eventually become a predator or a dancer.

Boozers are likely the worst at sex of the 3 (not saying they are bad, but they are not likely as good as predators or dancers, because if they were they would be a predator or dancer)

Predators are decent at the fuck, decent enough that they want more of it and confident enough that they can woo a dancer, but not confident enough to be a dancer.

If a persons confidence changes, that affects if they are a boozer dancer or predator


Surviving the Night - Week 3

I really need to remember to do this as soon as I get home

Holy fuck was that a fun crowd,

if I havent said it before at the bar I DJ there are generally 3 types of crowds.

Pop, Rap and Country

Many different types of dancers, women, men etc but I will go into that in another post.

That night was a pop crowd, which means GOOD rap, GOOD old pop/dance (think late 90's early 2000s) and the odd electro/regge

AND THEY LOVE IT

holy fuck

First of all, the lady with the sproinky tits was there. I dont know why hers are so well shapen and bouncy

but its wonderful watching her dance and run across my dance floor.

I dont think she had a bra on

now that I think about it there was alot of not bras that night, and glasses. two things I really enjoy

The crowd picked up, my floor got packed to the point where few people were buying drinks and playing pool, they just had a real positive energy to them

Much better than the rap crowd I had last week

I got shivers when my mixes worked and they went nuts. I cant remember the last time that happened

I want to DJ better than this every week I go

also girl to guy ratio of about 15:1 at one point. Now thats what Im talking about

Saw several familiar faces, thank fuck

and I saw you, the one who sent her friend up to make requests, you are allowed to come up and make requests

Just dont give me "hey generic asshole, remember me?" shit. I will shoot you down. Of course I remember you, I remember most things. Its enough to want a self induced lobotomy sometimes

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Surviving the night, weeks 1 and 2

Week 1 - Its been a while

Im getting back into DJing, and this week back I have the mostly pop crowd with a little country. It was a fun night.

Women asked for benassi, I dont know who you are but I love you
MILF asked for country, however her milfness is questionable since she is younger than me, she asked for before he cheats.

Funny song, she gets knocked up, stops putting out and her relationship fails.

THERE IS BIRTH CONTROL. USE IT.

It was actually a very fun, kinda small crowd.

Week 2 - Fuck

This week was less fun than the last, and there was more people out. The problem: it was the rap crowd.

There was one girl, in white, plunging neck line, great breasts.

I was training a spare DJ, he and I have similar senses of humour and tastes in women.

Then the dudes start asking for rap, and at first its good but the more I play rap I realize that if you are a guy asking for rap because you like it, you are likely full of poison and dont really like rap.

Fuck off, I know better. Never take requests from dudes, but I am ethically obligated to play all requests as best as I can.

So Im teaching the new guy good habits, cue up your song make sure its correct and decent quality, immediately have your next song ready as soon as one starts incase something goes fucky. Play with your high/mid/low to prevent peaking and get best sound quality, reset after every song. You know, good DJ etiquette.

Hopefully next week there is a little less rap and more opportunity for mix, and also hot women with great breasts.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Getting back into the game

I dont even want to talk about this really, I think Ive covered it before. Mixed signals

These last 2 have happened to me, maybe Im being to forward.

Fuck it, I sucked on the toe of one of my classmates in flight college on a half dare, they didnt think I would do it.

Example 1: Tinder, fantastic app.

Fuck that app, every bitch is looking for prince charming.

YOU LITERALLY DECIDED TO SWYPE BASED ON HOW HOT A PERSON IS

make a half hearted effort to get to know them or just have a entertaining conversasion

my experience shows number 2 is less awkward

the conversation went something like this

dick: talking to random strangers is hard
vagina: depends on the person
dick: true, but texting doesnt make it any easier
vagina: give me your phone number, and we'll talk (clearly a joke)
dick: here it is (she didnt know I was joking)

full disclosure: I had no plan to text this chick, unless she was dtf or sent nudes. I expect nothing out of anything from tinder, guess thats why Im still there (mostly) not salty

this one though, fuck sakes.

Sarcasm and humour dont come across well via text. She didnt know that I figured she was joking, and clearly didnt know that I was also joking

In a real world, voice situation you would have had tone and body language to figure it out

make a wager if you will what she was holding,

me, Im an all in kind of guy or am now. I used to be, before I was diluted by serious relationships and encouraged to have a plan b.

right, dont get side tracked

Example 2

full disclosure (you know who you are) I HAD NO INTENTION OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR SISTER

I WAS BEING FORWARD TO GET HER TO FUCK OFF FROM LIKING ALL MY SHIT, IT WAS KINDA CREEPY

to self: you really do attract/go after the mentally unsound ones dont you? you fucking taste in women is abysmal

to older brother: I know your harder than you look, I know what you used to do but dont try and act tough and threatening to me man. I know you, also Ive been threatened by larger and more dangerous men, long story but morale is dont go to parties on the reserve

Her boyfriend, of a long time, the last one, the one she was supposed to marry left her.

Girl I may not show it, but I know exactly how you feel

Shes not in a good way, at all. It sounds like she has some other things to deal with

SO

She kinda implied that if I was going to stay at my buddys place when she was there we would be roomies.

no.

all the nope.

IF I WANT TO WANK, I DONT WANT YOU TO BE AN AUDIENCE

full disclosure: I did not wank in your spare bed

then she turns it up

I should visit her in montreal

WTF WE MET ONCE, we kinda got along well because I got along with her brother well, for the most part minus one exception. You were right, that being said ontario drivers scare the fuck out of me, how can they be so dangers at slower speeds?

Maybe I misread what she said, it kinda implied that i should sleep with her

WHAT IN THE SWEET FUCK

mind you I dont mind, she meets the minimum standard of hot I put out for all women, she however EXCEEDS THE CRAZY

I couldnt handle that one, plus shes like 8 inches taller than me

so, I start flirting and teasing her a bit

she gets creeped out and texts my buddies wife.

Your not going to embarrass me. Ive made a bigger fool of myself doing dumber things (see flight instructor)

either way, SHE STARTED IT MOM!

I think she has fucked off, hell I dont know I may have restricted her on facebook

You know I dont mind playful flirting, or conversation but quit liking the misogynistic douche fuck shit I put on facebook

ok

I feel better now that I got that off my chest, you know I should listen to the old, crusty, pilots

Disregard females, acquire air time. In other words, fuck bitches and fly.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Old Voyager

So I'm watching an old episode of Voyager. The one where seven returns to the Borg. And Naomi Wildman goes to see the captain with a plan to find and rescue seven.

She's kinda like Westley, growing up on a starship but she's better than Westley. Voyager is far from home and resupply so the engineers and scientists aboard need to be smart with with they have.

And it struck me, she's going to be one of the best Starfleet officers ever.

Her skill and intelligence comes from experience and creativity, where Westley's came from being a prodigy.

She idolizes seven of nine, she's going to be smart like her, she idolizes Captain Janeway because why not.

In Star trek timelines she's an engineer and diplomat (from that one episode in the future where Janeway and Chakotay meet future Naomi and Icheb)

It makes sense, she was born and raised in the Delta quadrant on Voyager.

Maybe she isn't the captain, but you would be hard pressed to find a better first officer.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Tales from dispatch

So I have a boring adult job, sometimes its interesting. This is those times

Disclaimer: the following are true stories about my working with the provincial snow plows. The names places and events have been changed to protect the innocent

Night 0
Training none. No time, there's a storm

no training, no visibility no problem

My first night was a storm, I had not been trained yet and they needed someone in. Guess I was the first one to say yes and go out in a mess.

The other spare, an older lady with hair like Carter from Stargate. Recently retired and was using this to fill time and give herself and her husband a bit more spending money. She stuck around for half an hour, showed me the ropes then took off before it got to bad.

Beyond that I don't remember anything else from the night, it must have been fairly uneventful. I never officially got trained so I must have not fucked up too badly.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

intimacy vs arousal

there are two females that I have been talking to today.

I have seen their genitals, can confirm they are both female and they said some interesting things to me.

One: in a longish term serious relationship, having trouble with distance currently.

BOY oh BOY do I know about THAT FUCKING PROBLEM

the other: attempting to have a seriousish relationship with someone nearby and they are not interested

BOY oh BOY HAVE I DONE THAT FUCKING SHIT BEFORE.

Let's go with girl 1

She claims she is always horny, always wanting sex.

Welp when we tried being a thing you certainly didnt fucking show it. Maybe thats the problem

That aside, her boyfriend lives farish away, and they cant see each other often. Lack of transportation and work schedules. It happens.

This is causing a lack of intimacy, its driving her crazy.

BOY OH FUCKING BOY HAVE I FUCKING BEEN THERE BEFORE

I attempted to give her some advice (because honestly when they break up it will be nice to have some easy pussy in the areaish)

Which was if you both are committed to it, there will be no problems.

My problem is I have tried with two different women who ended up not being as comitted to it as I was, seeing as they dumped me.

Huh, isnt that interesting...moving on

Im sure this couple talks and hangs out often, she would like more sex.

THIS IS SOMETHING YOU SHOULD BE MENTIONING TO YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND NOT YOUR FORMER FUCKING FLAME

goddamn, I feel like Ive been in this situation before...RIGHT when my best friend and his (now former) girl were going through a rough patch she would tell this stuff to me.

I appreciate that you value my input, however I am probably the wrong guy to mention this to. Also at the wrong time.

If the lack of sex is why you are upset about your relationship you are an idiot, or lying. Seeing as you are female, you are lying there is other problems and the lack of intimacy isnt it, it certainly isnt helping though.

I am like 10 minutes away, if your that horny give me a text because fuck it I dont care anymore.

now number 2, she is being played like a piano. Guy is being sweet and nice to her to use her for sex.
Yup, I have definitly blogged about this before. What she cant figue out is why people are not interested in relationships anymore, clearly she stopped reading this shit. See one of the previous rants.

To be honest, at this moment there is about 4 women that I am pulling that stunt on, pretending to be caring and understanding and such so that in a moment of weakness they will fuck the shit out of me. Because remember: women are only good for sex.

All this aside, the problem we have here is intimacy vs arousal.

THEY ARE DIFFERENT

I think women sometimes forget this or often equate the two. I can be intimate with you, with my clothes on and penis not in your vagina. Intimacy is not just sexual, that is part of it, the sex is a metaphor. You are naked, stripped bare in front of someone, all your faults all your imperfections on display for them to see, then they embrace you and have you at a moment of weakness and do not do anything to hurt you or betray you. That is intimacy.

Arousal is sex part.

There have been many women who have been aroused by me and aroused me, this does not mean we have had sex, It certainly doesnt mean we were intimate.

There is a handful of women who know me intimately, and I trust and respect them above (almost) all other women but there is no arousal.

The reason why people get the two mixed up I think is because Love is becoming aroused by someone's faults, you see what makes them imperfect and you become more aroused by this. Love is what happens when intimacy causes arousal. Lust is what happens when arousal causes intimacy.

HA and my friends think this blog shouldnt be taken too seriously

I JUST FUCKING FIGURED OUT THE NATURE OF LOVE, and I plan on going out, womanizing and not loving that way again.