Monday, November 13, 2017

New weekend, Same bar

So its been a while since I've done one of these, this past weekend I didn't DJ so I went out to the bar anyway to razz the other DJ because I'm bored as shit and I live for that.

It was quite the crew in, his ex (the one he can't seem to get over which is silly because his current lady is literally one billion times more awesome and attractive than she is)


I'm getting side tracked. We will start with Halloween, I was at not the bar I normally am at.

That was a cluster fuck, I get asked that afternoon if I can do it and am sent scrambling for music and gear and somehow I pull it the fuck off.

It was fun, small dance floor Im on it at a table, not above it in a booth. I like being on the same level

I also hate it because there was this one lady (definition of hot mess, as in hot as fuck and totally messed up)

She confessed her undying love for me, shes my kind of crazy. Too bad she was wayyyy to impaired to give consent. Oh well.

She was grinding and dancing on all my gear, gave me something nice to look at, however it began to compromise the speaker stands structural integrity. It was pulling the sheet off the table.

I was afraid shit was going to go flying, then I saw him. Dressed in red and white stripes.

Waldo. I have found you. I started trying to telepathically him to dance with this girl before everything falls down and explodes.

He listened. Eventually.

For a very short time.


it was long enough for me to secure the gear anyway.

The weekend after was country night

This is the second country night, first one was less than successful. This one, more successful...after I stopped playing country music.

Seriously, I play party up by DMX then county girl? hip hop in a honkey tonk? I dont remember. One of those up beat, boot scooting...sorry boot scootin' country songs.

The country killed my dancefloor, not a single person. Seems that country music is only good for getting people to the bar to get drinks.


So my people who knew it was country night, and helped me get country songs for it ended up not showing up?

You country music fans dont even want to listen to country music, it must be that bad.

A co-worker (from my real adult job) said they would have just kept playing country music, as advertised.

I like them, but I see why the dancefloor at the bar they worked at may not have lasted long. You need to adapt, as a DJ you are a slave to the dancefloor. Give it what it wants.

Me personally I like keeping a positive vibe, playing requests. Also if you shout at me from the dance floor, I am likely going to turn up the music.

Also I'll play the song, because fuck it, if you are not going to take requests you may as well just be an iPod on shuffle.

I tried to sneak in as much country as possible, however people wanted to hear the classic hip hop r&b and rap that they always want.

Ignition, 21 questions, party up, you can do it, nelly, eminem etc

But you know what, when I am allowed to run a muck. There are no requests, I get into my electronic and dance music (NOT edm, that is not dance-y and barely qualifies to be music sometimes)

Rock this party, Neils van gough, bodybangers, benny benassi. They are dancing and moving more.

It is as if those songs are perfect for high energy and positive design.


All music has a place, I am not much of a fan of dubstep and country but they have their place and uses. I do not know much heavy metal or hard rock, but I like what I know.

Im getting better with rap, r&b and hip-hop.

The problem is each genre of music has a tone and a feel to it, emotionally.

Blues and country (and by extension r&b somewhat) have a bit of a sad tone. It is music that is made to get out sadness, loss of a loved one, truck or dog. Loss of a job. Basically a change you don't like, even the upbeat songs sometimes have depressing lyrics to them.

I think of these genre of music and I imagine the lone musician, maybe an instrument. Sitting down, exhausted with life then singing about it, feeling better and moving on.

Rap is similar, except its very angry. You are mad about something, mad about a change or situation.
I heard once that rap is about the angst, anger, rage at the system, rage at something you can no longer change.

Think about it, its about killing, gang banging, whores drugs etc.

Rap was never meant to glorify this lifestyle, it was a reflection of the old life the musicians had or knew about and how angry they were at that life, what they did, why it happened and why it had to happen.

They sang their song, screamed it to the heavens really, took a breath then moved on.

These days with all the overlap of music you cant say that anger is excursively rap or country is exclusively sad.

Think about Taylor Swifts new album. Generally speaking I don't like her music, I can't question her talent or production quality however the fuel for her albums is pure poison.

She seems to date guys to break up with them badly, pretend that she was the victim then write about it.

The whole Kanye thing, he is another guy who perhaps is too much ego for his talent and music (like Taylor)

However blaming him for the monster you became? No Taylor. You made yourself this way, you made the decisions.

Don't get me wrong, Kanye is a self centred prick but I expect that to be changing soon. The whole going crazy mental break-down thing.

As an aside, I wonder if his self centred attitude and music was actually a cry for help and everyone missed it for about 10 years. That would suck, I hope Im wrong about that...

getting back on track, what you use to make the song, the fuel, is the kind of music that will be made.

cheating on a lover will result in a sad, self reflective and maybe angry song while a song about an awesome partner will be reflective in a sappy kind of way in a way that focues on the inspiration and not like the singer.

The genres of music I seem to dislike have a similar fuel, country seems to be all about lost lovers, dogs and broken trucks. Rap seems to be about a dislike for your old life, friends and how you got there. Taylor Swift feels nothing but poison for everyone around her and it shows in her music

I like keeping a positive vibe, high energy everyone having fun. No one picks up at the bar I DJ at, so may as well make sure they have fun.

But this speaks volumes about the location I'm in, honestly everyone got tired of fucking in high  school. Explains why there are so many unplanned pregnancies...

The bar is meant to be an escape, leave your problems outside and come in and enjoy yourself, or bring them in and get some advice from others. Either way, here for a short time your problems are not problems and I want the music and dance floor to reflect that.

You will pay for it in the morning, well all do. But you know, maybe a short time away from a problem is the best way to find a solution, because after a while you stop looking for a solution and only focus on the problem, we loose sight of the big picture.

I know I have

Monday, October 9, 2017


why am I back here, on this ancient form of media?


Why am I back trying to tell guys how to pick up women better.




Why do people watch keys to the VIP as a tutorial and not a comedy




I should start from the beginning. I wanted to go to dances, to make out with chicks however my parents wouldnt let me go to any (mom for religious reasons, dad because of moms religious reasons)

Ok, maybe too far back.

Saturday, I DJ. Again, I fucking love that job. Anyway an old DJ buddy of mine is out he always wants to hang out, but he always wants to hang out to use me as a wingman as he attempts to (poorly) pick up women.

[redacted], this blog is for you.

He thinks that he needs to go out and pick up women.
Wrong, going out for the exclusive purpose to pick up women leads to misery.

a) People do not pick up at bars the way you see on movies and TV.
- if they did more people would be going out more often and more early, as it stands no one is in a bar before 12.
b) If you are obviously out for the purpose of picking up, it makes picking up more difficult
- if you are a dude you come off as desperate and generally chicks dont dig that
- if you are a chick you come off as slutty and dudes dont chase after sluts first
c) Personally, it kills the vibe. I want positivity, fun, energy and dancing. The type of crowd (predators) who go out to pick up often kill this

He thinks that he needs to focus on multiple women.
Wrong, the more women you try to pick up the less chance you have of picking any up
a) Having options is bullshit, go all in.
-people appreciate the effort, if you dont give them the attention or effort they think they deserve then it wasnt going to happen anyway
b) Every other person you try to pick up definitely makes you look less appealing to the previous one
-the first one you try with will find you less appealing as they see you trying to pick up others.
c) It divides your focus, you get distracted and sloppy
-enough said

So therefore, here is how you try and pick up women.

Rule 1 - Do not try and pick up women
-go out for drinks, pool, dancing, socializing, fun. But do not go out to pick up

Rule 2 - Do not be afraid to take time
-It will not happen tonight, this does not mean it will not happen the next time. Do not be afraid to chat up the same girls week to week if you see them out, things will be easier if you have a rapport with them

Rule 3 - Engage the whore train at your own risk
-Women always go out in groups larger than the groups men go out in. There is an alpha, there is a mother hen, there is a buzzkill. Avoid these kinds of women

Rule 4 - Do not abandon your wingmen
-Have friends, do not ever abandon them during an engagement unless they are going in for the kill

Rule 5 - Know the staff
-If you can socialize with the bartenders, staff DJ's and they like you they can chat you up, or if nothing else will not say your a creepy rapist.

Rule 6 - Do not get drunk
- You need to stay in control of your actions, so drink responsibly

Rule 7 - Do not engage drunks
- Drunk people cant fuck worth shit and are unpredictable, go for people who are drinking responsibly

Rule 8 - Do not be afraid to dance
- enough said

Rule 9 - Do not be afraid to fuck up
- still enough said

Rule 10 - You will get shot down
- deal with it

I feel like I have said this matter

To be nicer about this
Women go out in squadrons, men go out in wings.

A squadron of women (or squad) will have different types
The Alpha/Leader. this woman is the most attractive, intelligent, charming, successful. This is a difficult target, and may or may not want to be a target. You should not go after this women for a pick up, this one is wife material.

The Escort this woman is the most sober/responsible and her job is to make sure her friends have a good time and no one takes advantage of them. Generally not looking to pick up and will only shoot down if she thinks her friend is too good for the guy.

The Ace this one love shooting down men, this one is like the escort however will prevent any engagement from happening. Engage at own risk, best left for a wingman to distract while the leader goes for the primary

A wing of men also have different types
The Alpha - the lead of the group
The Lead - the one who is looking to pick up
The Wingmen - the ones who help the lead pick up

In a group of men the lead and wingmen can change as the targets change. The Alpha often is not out looking to pick up, they are the responsible one, DD and will watch as the lead and wingmen engage from the sidelines.

The Primary - the main (but not necessarily) first target of the night,
The Secondary - the back up and/or targets the wingmen go after to allow the lead to get the primary
The Tertiary - the target for the alpha if the wigmen are otherwise engaged.

If the lead is allowed to engage anything other than the primary then the chances of them successful engaging are dropped significantly.

Women will often use swarm tactics, as a result it can be difficult to determine who their primary is and who their lead is. This is what wingmen are for, wingmen are not out to pick up, they are out to make sure the lead can, the wingmen/wingman pulls the swarm from his lead in theory only leaving him and their lead. If not then it becomes the lady lead, an escort and an ace with maybe a 4th, much better odds and much easier for the guy to figure out.

You will not have a successful engagement if it is  < 3 on 1.

Fun fact: women generally go out in groups that out number male groups by a factor of 4.
Another fun fact: This does not mean there are generally 4 women for each man, in practice it is more like 1.5 women to each man.

Men use divide and conquer tactics, they try to isolate the primary target which is good and bad.
If she isnt down, then this comes across as creepy and/or the ace or escort will come in and shoot down the man.

No confirmed kills for anyone today

So gents, if you isolate the primary and she seems a bit uncomfortable then disengage. Try her again another week, move on to another target doesnt matter but that one will not be happening tonight.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Types of Crowd

Pop, Rap and Country

basically energetic, salty and trendy. That is, generally speaking the 3 types of crowds you will have to DJ for.

Energetic crowds, just about anything goes, keep the bass pumping and play some old pop standards, some cheesy shit. This crowd you really need to look at the age of them, play songs from their adolescence. Easy to play for, fun to play for. All crowds should be energetic. More girls than guys

Salty crowds, they want to hear shit music, music that is hard to dance to and kinda kills the mood. Really angry/angsty stuff. Think not awesome lincoln park and rap. This is a crowd of wall flowers and will heckle you, play better music and the like. Take their requests and try to find a patter, but be warned you will fuck up, they will not like it. This crowd is out trying to pick up women. Hard to play for, not fun to pay for, generally speaking more males than females.

Trendy crowds, this crowd is like an energetic crowd but they prefer trendy music, not popular music. So they will ask for obscure old songs, one hit wonders sort of things. They will ask for old trendy, good rap, they will want to hear a lot of last years top 40. This crowd can be annoying just because of the variance in what they want to hear. Generally speaking they do not want to hear much electro/dance stuff. They like old rap, new country and last years top 40. Can be easy or hard to play for, and fun or not. Equal number of ladies to gents.

Then there are the people who go out.

Boozers, Predators and Dancers.

Boozers are there just to drink, opportunistic to dancing and picking up women but are generally just wall flowers, pool sharks. They will start clearing out at last call and be there  before you start. They usually complain about the music but make no requests.

Predators are there to pick up people, for sex. They show up late and leave after closing. They don't drink much at the bar (usually heavy predrinking) They are wall flowers until the see someone they want to fuck then they go nuts (usually poorly) on the dance floor. Their skill comes from their charm and charisma, that is why they leave late, they are chatting up some people as the finish their drinks on the way out. These ones will make silly requests thinking it will help them seal the deal

Dancers are there to dance, may or may not predrink, but they will usually grab a drink, dance, get bored grab another drink dance etc. They can leave super early or stay until your last song. They request reasonable songs, and will often ask for the same one week in and week out.

Then there is wall flowers and pool sharks, these ones don't drink there are just there to hang out, shoot pool or play the vlts. If they start drinking they will become one of the top 3 types of patron

Your energetic crowd is likely to be more dancers, some predators and few boozers.
Your salty crowd is likely to be mostly predators and boozers with few dancers.
Your trendy crowd is going to be an equal mix of predators, dancers and boozers.

A crowd is going to behave in a way that makes sense regarding the dominant type of personality. A salty crowd is salty because there are alot of people there looking to just pick up and have a good time, pro tip, picking up women like you see in movies and tv shows is much more difficult than it seems and not nearly as spontaneous as it seems.

Example. when I was a pilot in Fredericton. I give not enough fucks about that place to protect the identities of my former coworkers one of the guys, rampage would go out and pick up women. Two things to note about this
The first time they were picked up, there was some serious making out, maybe some heavy stroking on the dance floor but they did not go home together.
The other thing to note is if they DID go home together they were likely talking over tinder or had some knowledge of each other before.

So all you guys who go out, hope to meet some babe and fuck her brains out, I'm sorry that's not likely to happen.

What will guarantee that is going out, meeting some babe and NOT coming off as a creep and exchanging phone numbers and flirty texts. If you play hard and correctly 2 saturdays out you will be fucking her.

They are salty because they want to pick up, cant or fail to and then blame the DJ. They don't buy many drinks.

An energetic crowd has a lot of dancers
Protip: watch how a girl dances, the hotter the dancer the better the fucker.
This crowd is just happy and energetic, Keep them happy keep them dancing. They buy a fair amount of drinks.

A trendy crowd depends on who is there, if there is more people looking to hook up or pool sharks, its hard and not fun. If its a bunch of boozers or wall flowers its pretty easy but not as fun. If its more dancers then its easy and fun. Because of the types of patrons this crowd can be like an energetic crowd or like a salty crowd, and it can change quickly. It is the MOST important to take requests from this crowd.

Now notice that I have said hot dancer, and not really gotten into the physical attractiveness of people.
I've seen fucking models be the best dancer out there, I've also seen them be wall flowers and have had (confirmed information from a boyfriend) they they were fucking awful in bed.

How hot someone looks outside the dance floor can certainly make sex enjoyable, but how the move on the dance floor is what will make it pleasurable.

Of the women I have had sex with the ones I have had the most fun fucking have been ones who are the most fun to look at while dancing, it helped that they were at least medium levels of hot.

One girl...I will call her the amazon, because she is built like one, she isn't a tiny skinny model, she was good in bed and good on the dance floor, so your hotness has nothing to do with how well you fuck, its your confidence.

That is why hot dancers are good fuckers, they have more confidence, to move like that and know you are looking great, or not care and know how to do it in a way that wont hurt yourself. Huge confidence, and it boosts your confidence the more you try and are successful, its a beautiful circle of you dance better, are more confident so you dance better etc

People who want to pick up are likely not confident in their dancing ability, because if they were a) they would dance more which leads to b) they would pick up more which leads to c) they would not be predators. These are boozers, they either eventually become a predator or a dancer.

Boozers are likely the worst at sex of the 3 (not saying they are bad, but they are not likely as good as predators or dancers, because if they were they would be a predator or dancer)

Predators are decent at the fuck, decent enough that they want more of it and confident enough that they can woo a dancer, but not confident enough to be a dancer.

If a persons confidence changes, that affects if they are a boozer dancer or predator

Surviving the Night - Week 3

I really need to remember to do this as soon as I get home

Holy fuck was that a fun crowd,

if I havent said it before at the bar I DJ there are generally 3 types of crowds.

Pop, Rap and Country

Many different types of dancers, women, men etc but I will go into that in another post.

That night was a pop crowd, which means GOOD rap, GOOD old pop/dance (think late 90's early 2000s) and the odd electro/regge


holy fuck

First of all, the lady with the sproinky tits was there. I dont know why hers are so well shapen and bouncy

but its wonderful watching her dance and run across my dance floor.

I dont think she had a bra on

now that I think about it there was alot of not bras that night, and glasses. two things I really enjoy

The crowd picked up, my floor got packed to the point where few people were buying drinks and playing pool, they just had a real positive energy to them

Much better than the rap crowd I had last week

I got shivers when my mixes worked and they went nuts. I cant remember the last time that happened

I want to DJ better than this every week I go

also girl to guy ratio of about 15:1 at one point. Now thats what Im talking about

Saw several familiar faces, thank fuck

and I saw you, the one who sent her friend up to make requests, you are allowed to come up and make requests

Just dont give me "hey generic asshole, remember me?" shit. I will shoot you down. Of course I remember you, I remember most things. Its enough to want a self induced lobotomy sometimes

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Surviving the night, weeks 1 and 2

Week 1 - Its been a while

Im getting back into DJing, and this week back I have the mostly pop crowd with a little country. It was a fun night.

Women asked for benassi, I dont know who you are but I love you
MILF asked for country, however her milfness is questionable since she is younger than me, she asked for before he cheats.

Funny song, she gets knocked up, stops putting out and her relationship fails.


It was actually a very fun, kinda small crowd.

Week 2 - Fuck

This week was less fun than the last, and there was more people out. The problem: it was the rap crowd.

There was one girl, in white, plunging neck line, great breasts.

I was training a spare DJ, he and I have similar senses of humour and tastes in women.

Then the dudes start asking for rap, and at first its good but the more I play rap I realize that if you are a guy asking for rap because you like it, you are likely full of poison and dont really like rap.

Fuck off, I know better. Never take requests from dudes, but I am ethically obligated to play all requests as best as I can.

So Im teaching the new guy good habits, cue up your song make sure its correct and decent quality, immediately have your next song ready as soon as one starts incase something goes fucky. Play with your high/mid/low to prevent peaking and get best sound quality, reset after every song. You know, good DJ etiquette.

Hopefully next week there is a little less rap and more opportunity for mix, and also hot women with great breasts.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Getting back into the game

I dont even want to talk about this really, I think Ive covered it before. Mixed signals

These last 2 have happened to me, maybe Im being to forward.

Fuck it, I sucked on the toe of one of my classmates in flight college on a half dare, they didnt think I would do it.

Example 1: Tinder, fantastic app.

Fuck that app, every bitch is looking for prince charming.


make a half hearted effort to get to know them or just have a entertaining conversasion

my experience shows number 2 is less awkward

the conversation went something like this

dick: talking to random strangers is hard
vagina: depends on the person
dick: true, but texting doesnt make it any easier
vagina: give me your phone number, and we'll talk (clearly a joke)
dick: here it is (she didnt know I was joking)

full disclosure: I had no plan to text this chick, unless she was dtf or sent nudes. I expect nothing out of anything from tinder, guess thats why Im still there (mostly) not salty

this one though, fuck sakes.

Sarcasm and humour dont come across well via text. She didnt know that I figured she was joking, and clearly didnt know that I was also joking

In a real world, voice situation you would have had tone and body language to figure it out

make a wager if you will what she was holding,

me, Im an all in kind of guy or am now. I used to be, before I was diluted by serious relationships and encouraged to have a plan b.

right, dont get side tracked

Example 2

full disclosure (you know who you are) I HAD NO INTENTION OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR SISTER


to self: you really do attract/go after the mentally unsound ones dont you? you fucking taste in women is abysmal

to older brother: I know your harder than you look, I know what you used to do but dont try and act tough and threatening to me man. I know you, also Ive been threatened by larger and more dangerous men, long story but morale is dont go to parties on the reserve

Her boyfriend, of a long time, the last one, the one she was supposed to marry left her.

Girl I may not show it, but I know exactly how you feel

Shes not in a good way, at all. It sounds like she has some other things to deal with


She kinda implied that if I was going to stay at my buddys place when she was there we would be roomies.


all the nope.


full disclosure: I did not wank in your spare bed

then she turns it up

I should visit her in montreal

WTF WE MET ONCE, we kinda got along well because I got along with her brother well, for the most part minus one exception. You were right, that being said ontario drivers scare the fuck out of me, how can they be so dangers at slower speeds?

Maybe I misread what she said, it kinda implied that i should sleep with her


mind you I dont mind, she meets the minimum standard of hot I put out for all women, she however EXCEEDS THE CRAZY

I couldnt handle that one, plus shes like 8 inches taller than me

so, I start flirting and teasing her a bit

she gets creeped out and texts my buddies wife.

Your not going to embarrass me. Ive made a bigger fool of myself doing dumber things (see flight instructor)

either way, SHE STARTED IT MOM!

I think she has fucked off, hell I dont know I may have restricted her on facebook

You know I dont mind playful flirting, or conversation but quit liking the misogynistic douche fuck shit I put on facebook


I feel better now that I got that off my chest, you know I should listen to the old, crusty, pilots

Disregard females, acquire air time. In other words, fuck bitches and fly.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Old Voyager

So I'm watching an old episode of Voyager. The one where seven returns to the Borg. And Naomi Wildman goes to see the captain with a plan to find and rescue seven.

She's kinda like Westley, growing up on a starship but she's better than Westley. Voyager is far from home and resupply so the engineers and scientists aboard need to be smart with with they have.

And it struck me, she's going to be one of the best Starfleet officers ever.

Her skill and intelligence comes from experience and creativity, where Westley's came from being a prodigy.

She idolizes seven of nine, she's going to be smart like her, she idolizes Captain Janeway because why not.

In Star trek timelines she's an engineer and diplomat (from that one episode in the future where Janeway and Chakotay meet future Naomi and Icheb)

It makes sense, she was born and raised in the Delta quadrant on Voyager.

Maybe she isn't the captain, but you would be hard pressed to find a better first officer.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Tales from dispatch

So I have a boring adult job, sometimes its interesting. This is those times

Disclaimer: the following are true stories about my working with the provincial snow plows. The names places and events have been changed to protect the innocent

Night 0
Training none. No time, there's a storm

no training, no visibility no problem

My first night was a storm, I had not been trained yet and they needed someone in. Guess I was the first one to say yes and go out in a mess.

The other spare, an older lady with hair like Carter from Stargate. Recently retired and was using this to fill time and give herself and her husband a bit more spending money. She stuck around for half an hour, showed me the ropes then took off before it got to bad.

Beyond that I don't remember anything else from the night, it must have been fairly uneventful. I never officially got trained so I must have not fucked up too badly.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

intimacy vs arousal

there are two females that I have been talking to today.

I have seen their genitals, can confirm they are both female and they said some interesting things to me.

One: in a longish term serious relationship, having trouble with distance currently.


the other: attempting to have a seriousish relationship with someone nearby and they are not interested


Let's go with girl 1

She claims she is always horny, always wanting sex.

Welp when we tried being a thing you certainly didnt fucking show it. Maybe thats the problem

That aside, her boyfriend lives farish away, and they cant see each other often. Lack of transportation and work schedules. It happens.

This is causing a lack of intimacy, its driving her crazy.


I attempted to give her some advice (because honestly when they break up it will be nice to have some easy pussy in the areaish)

Which was if you both are committed to it, there will be no problems.

My problem is I have tried with two different women who ended up not being as comitted to it as I was, seeing as they dumped me.

Huh, isnt that interesting...moving on

Im sure this couple talks and hangs out often, she would like more sex.


goddamn, I feel like Ive been in this situation before...RIGHT when my best friend and his (now former) girl were going through a rough patch she would tell this stuff to me.

I appreciate that you value my input, however I am probably the wrong guy to mention this to. Also at the wrong time.

If the lack of sex is why you are upset about your relationship you are an idiot, or lying. Seeing as you are female, you are lying there is other problems and the lack of intimacy isnt it, it certainly isnt helping though.

I am like 10 minutes away, if your that horny give me a text because fuck it I dont care anymore.

now number 2, she is being played like a piano. Guy is being sweet and nice to her to use her for sex.
Yup, I have definitly blogged about this before. What she cant figue out is why people are not interested in relationships anymore, clearly she stopped reading this shit. See one of the previous rants.

To be honest, at this moment there is about 4 women that I am pulling that stunt on, pretending to be caring and understanding and such so that in a moment of weakness they will fuck the shit out of me. Because remember: women are only good for sex.

All this aside, the problem we have here is intimacy vs arousal.


I think women sometimes forget this or often equate the two. I can be intimate with you, with my clothes on and penis not in your vagina. Intimacy is not just sexual, that is part of it, the sex is a metaphor. You are naked, stripped bare in front of someone, all your faults all your imperfections on display for them to see, then they embrace you and have you at a moment of weakness and do not do anything to hurt you or betray you. That is intimacy.

Arousal is sex part.

There have been many women who have been aroused by me and aroused me, this does not mean we have had sex, It certainly doesnt mean we were intimate.

There is a handful of women who know me intimately, and I trust and respect them above (almost) all other women but there is no arousal.

The reason why people get the two mixed up I think is because Love is becoming aroused by someone's faults, you see what makes them imperfect and you become more aroused by this. Love is what happens when intimacy causes arousal. Lust is what happens when arousal causes intimacy.

HA and my friends think this blog shouldnt be taken too seriously

I JUST FUCKING FIGURED OUT THE NATURE OF LOVE, and I plan on going out, womanizing and not loving that way again.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Dating as an adult

So there is about 10 people who actually look at this shit,

guys I dont think Im that wise, funny or insightful but so long as you are here how about another rant?

I've seen many post on facebook about dating as an adult. One suggests that you are either step dad (because some people are too stupid to use birth control and therefore shouldnt reproduce in the first place), two is ugly chicks (compared to my favourite musicians all women are generally ugly) and 3 single forever.

That is not quite correct,

There exist attractive, single women without children at all ages. Quit your bitchin

The other one I saw is "its like sorting through a dump looking for the least broken, ugly thing"

That is also correct, however I feel that it is correct for dating at all ages. We are all broken and ugly somehow.

Hell, look at this blog. Do you think someone of sound mental status would rant like this? Exactly

What it actually is people, specifically men, do not want to put in the time or effort into a new relationship after a certain point. 

It makes sense

If you consider the investment of time (remember time = money) and investment of money (time * money, time * time, time^2) the loss from dating is exponential, and when you are young you dont care as much about time or money, as you get older you do. Time is valuable and shit doesnt pay for itself.

Dating for some time, then the marriage, then the house then the family etc...financially its a crazy risk. Considering the current state of the planet, politics, environment and economy it is almost negligent to bring a child into this world and expect them to eventually succeed.

That is not the problem, the problem is time.

When my parents were my age, my mother was 2 years away from birthing me, which means that my parents were a year into dating, and a year away from marriage (I think)

both had stable jobs and one year after I was born (mom 30, dad 33ish) they built a house.

A fucking house.

That is incredible. I only know one (maybe 2) married couples who own a house, the rest of them live in an apartment because it makes a bit more economic sense.

I would love to build a house some day, if only to have a hidden man cave where I can store my nerf guns, lego and gaming stuff but that will likely not be a reality until I am in my late 30's almost. What the fuck

Maybe it isnt the time, maybe it is the economics, and generally speaking people are not as financially stable as their predecessors were at the same age. 

Finally: how about that divorce rate? 50% give or take. Half of marriages fail, even with dating becoming less formal and people being able to date around and figure out what they like and who would be the best suited for a partner marriages still fail.

There is only 2 ways out of a relationship, someone ends it or someone dies. Bottom line, it will never end well, so to everyone brave enough to try I salute you and hope that your time together brings you more joy then the eventual end of your relationship

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Dear self

It's been a pretty crappy couple of years hasn't it?

First that miserable job as a flight instructor. A couple of ex girlfriends that survey job

You know why all these failed don't you? After the instructor job you lost your fight. You didn't fight then maybe you should have.

Your failures since then have come from you being docile and not fighting.

You were an idiot thinking you were being nice and accommodating. No you were being a cuck.

The survey job, you didn't express your concerns until you were pissed off. Probably wouldn't have been an issue if you had the balls to do something about it when it happened.

But you know what, I'm proud. You stated committed in the last two relationships better than you have in the past

I know there was that French girl and big breasted one and weeabo plus the one who had a crush on you when you were younger... Possibly two of those actually.

There would have been a time where you would have said fuck your relationship and fucked those girls, but you didn't.

You are more patient and tolerant than you were before all of this.

You have made many positive changes and it would be easier to just roll over and give up. It's not going to get much better and it isn't ever going to get easier.

But you owe it to the people around you and especially yourself to keep on fighting.

Yeah, break ups suck but remember there is atleast one girl who falls asleep masturbating to you.

Also when life is getting hard, it means God is afraid of your progress. Keep going, don't give up on flying, don't give up DJing and for the love of fuck use women the way they were meant to be used.

As fuck dolls.

DJ Drifter's Dancefloor Survival Guide


I am too lazy to check sources for all of this material, it is based off personal observation, experience and opinion.

To survive the beast that is the dance floor one needs to understand it and to understand it we should go over its history.

The bar a location where people exchanged currency for alcohol, little has changed with regards to this however the activities outside the consumption of alcohol has changed.

Perhaps it was consumed out of necessity, easier to make and keep over clean water. In this case everyone went to a watering hole of some kind to exchange information hang out etc

Because of this volume of traffic the bar's diversified, you could get a meal, a bed or perhaps hire some kind of mercenary or enjoy some form of entertainment musical or otherwise.

Eventually these kinds of bars changed, bars that served food became a restaurant, bars with beds became hotels, bars where you could hire someone became a dive and the entertainment would take over what the bar was a comedy club, music venue, cabaret.

 They all served alcohol however that was not their dominant trait, in this case we will be focusing on bars that had some sort of musical entertainment.

At first the musical entertainment was to make the place a little less quiet and perhaps a bit more energetic. Think about the piano player in old western saloons.

Dancing during this time would have been practically non existent in this venue with the exception of extreme drunkenness and/or the fooling around with a hooker before bedding them.

This eventually became a live singer of sorts in the early 1900's, these spots were usually pretty classy, formal a very chill atmosphere with a different kind of dancing, more intimate, reserved kind of dancing.

Fast forward to the 1950's, WWII is over, and many soldiers would have spent more time in bars and drinking than they would have had the war not happened, and the peace made these men restless and this would influence the next generation.

Dancing would start becoming less formal and the music was more energetic and upbeat, this would be the first time that we would see a noticeable change in the formality of dating. Before WWII dancing and dating were formal, organized and more often than not you were likely to marry the one you were dating.

I feel that this change happened because of the restlessness of old soldiers, some who brought home wives from overseas and the change in music.

Live bands are awesome, and they bring a lot of positive energy to their venue, however they are limited by their skill and knowledge as a musician. They would need to take breaks and they do not know how to play or sing every possible song.

Enter the vinyl record and the sound guy, the first DJ. They could play any song they had and it was easier for a DJ to have a record than for a band to learn a song. The DJ also didnt requre any breaks, playing records takes far less energy than singing, Musically speaking anything went, and that affected how people danced. You could have a combination of high energy group dancing, you could have slow intimate dancing, you could have fast intimate dancing.

This change in dancing affected how people dated. It was becoming more acceptable to not only have multiple relationships but multiple sexual partners before marriage.

The peak of this was the 1970's, arguably the decade with the most variety of excellent music.
Soul, funk, rock and disco. It was all excellent. Generally speaking a bar had a genre of music and within reason it stuck to it, and when they didnt great things happened.

DJs started experimenting with mixing different types of music and a new way of making music: the synthesizer the first example of electronic music.

If you listen to modern dance/electronic music you will still hear old disco influence (that may be because a bunch of the producers are old and remember how much they loved disco)

From here on out very little changed, bars had a normal genre of music, people would have multiple dates and partners before marriage. It has got to the point where sex and dancing do not need to be done to further a relationship, they are just fun.

Dancing, dating and fucking are not formal. You do not need to marry, dont need to love, hell dont even need to like. You can do all 3 just for your own fun.

Lesson 1: Have fun
You are there to have fun, so do what you would find fun. You dont have to dance, you dont have to pick up people. If you choose to dance or pick up people, go all in. The dance floor is a great equalizer, you will not be judged by the people around you. The DJ may tease you but I promise you that they admire you. It takes great amounts of courage to get up and dance or to try and talk to a stranger at a bar.

Lesson 2: You will fuck up.
...and thats ok. Very few people are naturally good dancers, even fewer are hot dancers and many people struggle talking to a complete stranger. So if you have the courage to do these, you will likely fuck it up and dont worry about this. The people around you who see this may tease you but they will not judge you, because they lack the courage that you have

Lesson 3: Be Brave
See previous 2 lessons, sometimes shit just happens and thats fine. Take the risk in talking to someone new, go out and dance like no one is watching.

Lesson 4: Don't be creepy
I see this often, many 'studs' thinking they will pick up. I will cover the art of picking up women later in this. Its ok to be nervous, and awkward (just remember to have fun and be brave). You start being creepy when you forget that first rule, you are there to have fun. You become creepy when you start to want sex after the bar rather than have fun in the moment.

Lesson 5: Live in the moment
The hang over will likely suck tomorrow. You may not get laid tonight. This is going to cost money etc. All of these things should not concern you on the dance floor. You are not there to think about the future, you are there to enjoy the moment. You are surrounded by positive energy, music, people dancing, hot people dancing, people dancing hot. Enjoy it, because there will never be a moment like that exact one ever again.

Lesson 6: Dance like no one is watching
Who cares, be brave, live in the moment. Notice a fucking trend here? It will boost your confidence and it will draw people to you. If you are not afraid to look foolish while dancing then someone else will be less afraid. Eventually the dancefloor will reach critical mass of silly dancing and even the most rooted of wall flowers will be unable to resist its appeal. Dance like no one is watching, its good for you and better for everyone else.

Lesson 7: Fuck like the whole world is watching
After you have had your fun, fucked up and been brave (and not creepy) there may come a moment where you connect with someone, eye contact, running into, dancing it doesnt matter. That connection may eventually lead to intimacy, and when you finally get naked, get down then get off do it like a porn star on live stream and put on a hell of a shot.

Posts I removed because I offend people. Fuck you.

I've spent the last 2 or so minutes thinking about this while wanking

The type of women I go for, I tried to figure out some kind of pattern physically or emotionally

Common denominator (most of the time) decent tits. However that only applies to the ones I can remember

Im finding the more attractive women at the bar isnt necessarily based on how good they look, but how good they can dance.

Plus glasses. I like glasses

I am also finding that I see less fatties on my dance floor, so I am

a) getting less fatties
b) filtering out the fatties
c) desperate
d) not giving a fuck

honestly, 3 of those, at the same time are far more likely than the first one.

But I realized this last week, 2 women in particular stuck out. One had glasses, was curvy and her crew was just fun to play for, they were silly not horribly wasted and asked for the cha cha slide about an hour and 15 into my set. In terms of DJing, thats 15 minutes in. First hour doesnt count, never has

And I mean ACTUALLY curvy, not fat empowering curvy. 30-26-30 kind of measurement. Concave, not convex and yes in terms of measurements there are women with better tits and asses. But she was dressed modestly and one hell of a dancer.

I dont see too much modesty in my profession

The other girl, is slim, tone and showing off that midriff.

Bitch does core, guess shes allowed to show off. Very limber, very good dancer.

Why does dancing attract me you ask? Well, first, it is an indication of fun level in bed (if not potential skill)

Generally speaking, the better dancer (hot dancing, not necessarily hot looking) is likely to be a very fun fuck and probably fairly skilled.

Also an indication of level of difficulty, if she is dancing and you are drawn to the ass, probably fairly easy for you to take home, if you are drawn to the tits, probably fairly hard to take home.

Dancing can also indicate confidence, level of shame, and energy

Girl is dancing by herself (or much better than her friends) probably fairly confident, moderate to low levels of shame and moderate amounts of energy.

Girl is bouncy, dancing like her friends probably moderately to low levels of confidence, moderate to high levels of shame and high levels of energy

Girl is dancing awkwardly, you know what I mean, looking around, unfocused, shuffle hands kind of up.
High levels of shame, low levels of confidence, and low levels of energy. If you are drawn to this female, it certainly is not because of how she was dancing

I could go on for days about it, but those are the 3 types more or less. Provocative, Bouncy and Shy.

A shy girl is likely one that will be difficult to take home. Provocative easier and definitively more fun. Bouncy girls are usually protected by a whore train, so difficult, and possibly fun. You are taking a risk with that one

All this assuming that the girl is single. Ive seen single girls dance like all the above, Ive seen married girls dance like all the above.

Thinking back on my kill count, I am not sure any of them were particularly good at dancing


the skinny, toned ones, who could dance like strippers, were fantastically fun in bed.

how do I know this, because I actually remember how those two women fucked. Most of them I dont have any recollection, so most of them are probably only passable at best, probably half my fault.

Awkward first time? Well booze can fix that but that is a valid concern from the potential love interest of my former student

and no I mean a cool student, not my actual former students. I dont talk to them

Awkward first time, I mean, sigh. You both want it right, and yeah I suppose maybe there could be some nerves or expectations

but you both want to do this, that enough should motivate you to go at least an hour. Hell if its the first time I personally would push for 2, you should try to impress the female. It does improve the odds of future service.

That was horrible.

YES, I am working on reworking that paper I did years ago. YES it will be reposed. YES I will actually try to have some sources

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Dealing with break ups

Women can be the fucking worst sometimes. Take my best and oldest friend. When him and his lady broke up I was madder than he was about it, however none of us were surprised.

The dude loved her, like alot and from the get go many people (including myself) thought that it was doomed however they demonstrated something I seldom see in relationships: an unstoppable desire to make it work

Well almost unstoppable, it stopped and he's still on good terms with her.

Good for him, taking the morale high ground. Without him I would be a much worse human being

However she has shared her sexual exploits with him

What. The. Fuck.

I mean, I guess I'm happy that they can be that honest with each other, but for me I would be like (and have been like) nope.

My approach has been a bit more... Surgical. Usually, immediately after I'm a cut out like a tumor kind of guy, after a little while when I have emptied my fucks and have none to give I'll try to sort of keep in touch.

If I'm bored

Or if I think I can get easy sex

Let's face it, that's all exes are good for.

Try not to be bitter try not to be bitter try not to be bitter

One time I've had a former flame speak to me about their love life, not sex, she just asked my opinion.

The guy followed my play book, tell the girl what she wants to hear, enjoy the SEC and avoid a serious relationship

Wish I followed my play book more often

Then he ghosts her and she asks what I thought. To which I said he is just trying to have easy sex.

I suppose another more positive way to deal with break ups is to go on a rampage, an option that I think everyone should do. Basically it proves that all women are sluts and not worth your time while boosting male confidence.

It feels good to be back.