Sunday, May 25, 2014

Homework Asssignment

Did you do your required reading?

Doesnt matter you are going to read this anyway

tl;dr
My buddy feels that growing up the sex ed portion was not enough about sex or education and never taught you about the IMPORTANT things that could get you in trouble.

Consent
Its never taught when to say no, and never taught how to say it or do it. That's part of the problem right there

UTI
he covered that adequately.

Emotional Abuse
THIS IS NOT LIMITED TO SEX

hell it isnt really limited to emotional, however he does have a good point. These classes seem to focus on beating of others.

This abuse is basically bullying. Which now they hunt bully's like witches. This isnt good, the trick isnt to CATCH bulling but its to STOP bulling.

Reactionary, is the best way to describe how we are taught sex.

People get pregnant or an STI. Nobody should have sex. Ever.
One girl gets punched in the face by her abusive boyfriend. Every male can be abusive.
One girl gets raped, all men are rapist.

It seems to me no one has ever thought about the cause of these events, what the source is.

How would it feel to know why people get raped or abused, then be able to make sure people prone to do these things have the opportunity get the help they need, sort out their issues and do not do it.

Girl gets pregnant because there was no birth control, STI gets transmitted because there was no condom.

The solution isnt do not have sex (however this does work)
The solution to always wear a condom does not always work either.

You need to teach people to be smart, show them the appropriate times to fuck and not fuck.

HELL TEACH THEM HOW TO DO IT OTHERWISE I AM LOOKING UP PETER NORTH AND RON JEREMY

GOD DAMNIT

why is everyones first sexual experience kinda awkward (except for the iron willed motherfuckers who wait until marriage, I admire these people)

Finally he mentions options for pregnancy.
This is fucking brilliant, because up until this point we are pretty much taught that pregnancy is like an STI and you want to avoid it if at all possible.

They really do not push that if you fuck up it is not the end of the world. In fact Im pretty sure they say the opposite.

There is options that people do not know about until they are adults. I did not know until I was in my early 20's that you could actually get the morning after pill at a pharmacy. I thought you had to get one from the hospital.

There is so much out there that is not taught, so many fucking options.

It is not as black and white as they teach you in school, hell nothing is.

I really want to go back and kick most of  my old teachers in the gentiles for doing a god awful job at preparing young people for the real world.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

IM HOOKED ON A FEELING

And also fairly excited for guardians of the galaxy, and days of future past, and expendibles 3, and sherlock holmes 3 and lots of movies this year.

But I am not here to talk about movies, I am here to talk about lesbians.

They are really like a sculptor, a painting a work of art. something to be admired and enjoyed.
and most works of art are fucking usless other than for aesthetics.

DO NOT USE PHALLIC OBJECTS YOU DYKES YOU HAVE MADE YOUR DECISION

I hear that they just dont like men. Thats perfectly fine, I hate women but penis goes in vagina so I guess I have to make due.

Its strange isnt it, how basically your preference for one sex or another may not affect how you have sex?

For example, men who like men, still get anal and oral.

Ive gotten oral and offered anal a few times. (Sorry gents, not my speed)
Kidding aside women often appear down for anal more so than I would have thought.

women who like women, get eaten out and fingered.
Hell they have a few toys that they use as penis substitute so they are literally always getting fucked like a straight female, with 100% more tits.

Doesnt sound half bad actually.

So if people fuck the same way, regardless of what way they swing why does sexuality matter?

Gender matters, women carry baby, men carry seed. There is a biological function for what we look like, besides aesthetics.

I dont know why it would matter, so I dont see why people need to make a big deal about people being gay.

Fucking media (its a basketball player, you know what I am talking about)

In the mean time, here is some required reading for you

http://bdingz.wordpress.com/

next blog post we will be discussing bdingz views on sexual/alcohol eduction (spoiler alert, I totally agree with him)

Thursday, May 15, 2014

I can fuck for 2 hours, however I am winded after running 20 minutes

WHAT.THE.FUCK.IS.THIS.SHIT

On top of all this, I AM NOT LOSING MY ERECTIONS

Have you ever tried to drive home and you ended up grabbing the wrong stick and you cant figure out why you are still in 4th?

I HAVE AND ITS SCARY AS SHIT

...sigh...

In other news I love my job

Have you ever thought about every time you have had sex?

I have, and I think I must have really sucked at the fuck prior to becoming a pilot.

Which makes sense, because becoming a pilot makes your balls and cock huge.


I think what actually was the problem was that I was not happy with myself, so how could I be expected to make anyone else happy?

The experiences were...meh, the girls were moderately attractive (but interestingly enough shared similar traits)

Then as I became happier with myself and what I was doing I got better at it

then proceeded to probably get worse at it after teaching for a few months but that is a different story.

what is the point you ask?

Simple, satisfy yourself if you want to best satisfy your partner.
YES that includes masturbation, if you cant cum then what makes you think you will be able to later
YES that includes your body, if you are not satisfied with it (then change it) and the happier you are, the better you will be in bed.

So this is why I can fuck forever but I cant run, im not in good shape and I want to change that
and wish it would go quicker and easier, oh well.

However, if you really really care about your partner, find them perfectly attractive and they feel the same way the sex will be better every time, the second you loose your happiness you loose your libido.

unfortunately for me my sex drive is stronger than my motor drive.

god fucking damnit Im going for a run.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Lazer Cock and Mega milf

Been a while since you have seen this pair,

no I have not forgotten about them...its just hard working on some sort of origin story for the two but I think I have an idea...

Lazercock - Luke Carter
Mega Milf - Martina Martin

Im thinking Luke Carter can be a computer scientist/robotic specialist who is a little too well endowed (appropriate because any woman who tried his cock would end it fast because they said owed)

Martina Martin (because her parents have a sick fucking sense of humour) would be a a sort of bio chemist

These two have known each other forever and Martina has been blessed with an obnoxiously tight vagina

Funny enough Luke is in love with her, and has only had sex once (but let us not talk about the university graduation just yet)

Basically Luke creates some nanobots to readjust/control the size of his cock so that he may actually get laid.

Martina steals these nano bots so her pussy will loosen the fuck up, and she can stop fingering herself with her goddamned pinky.

And the results are...shall we say less than optimal. Because Luke lacked the knowledge of biology, he accidentally gave his cock the ability to shoot biolumescense...that kinda burns people. Like lazers.

Because of Martinas lack of knowledge of robotics she now commands an army of nanobots which shoot from her pussy.

Seriously, what the fuck.

Anyway, the nanobots tend to eat anything going into her pussy that isnt her...so, yeah she is kinda worse off.

and when lazer cock blows his load, he kinda melts the bitches head off.

So...yeah what the fuck.

BUT

seeing as they both are using the same set of nanobots, the nanobots in Martina should not eat Lukes cock, and because the nanobots protect Martina lukes load should not kill her.

Match made in heaven

Except Martina gets even more sexually deprived, and feels that since she cannot loose her virginity, no one else can so she sets out to fuck the world by destroying everything phallic, anything that can be used to pleasure a woman.

she nuduers men until she gets to lazer cock, his penis is impervious to her nanobots, and then the battle begins.

this makes things at work a little awkward, because...Luke had a crush or Martina, and martina tried to kill them and nasa expects both of them to be working on an experimental long range space vessel.

they may or may not destroy the vehicle assembly building when luke corrects something that martina did wrong.

oops.

Luke starts noticing that Martina's nanobots are reproducing too quickly (its kinda what gives her her powers) and that they are very likely to explode, killing her perhaps anyone around her, so using his nanobots he injects is whole body, and during a battle with her shrinks himself down and dives into her vagina, fingting (the now giant compared to him) nanobots until he can find the source of the error. Here he sees what she tried to do with the code, and he fixes it, then jumps out of her vagina.

Her nanobots now powerless she surrenders to lazercock and prepares her anus for a fucking like she has never seen, and he uses two fingers to fuck her and she loves it.

He fixed her.

She decides to return the favor and fix the bioluminescence problem and adjusting his cock to be perfect for her.

Credits roll, the end.

At nasa she grabs his ass as a redhead female, with huge fucking tits, explodes through the wall dual wielding rocket launchers. she proclaims to be russian red and she plans to stop this capitalist endeavor. Luke and Martina push buttons on their watch (which apparantly send signals to the nanobots) the nanobots eat off their clothing and cover them in the uniforms, lazerocks being a metallic/chain mail armour with a dick on the front spitting out a rainbow and megamilfs being similar except with an M under another M on the front of hers, their genitles are revealed and lazercock puts his arm around mega milfs waist and with his other hand uses his dick like a lasso and swings towards russian red.

FINALLY

a workable idea for this, now I need to write it...