Thursday, March 20, 2014

Throwback Thorsday

On this day, (and seeing as this motherfucker is in the area) I would like to recount an ancient tail of an epic failure of a booty call.

My friend lives in the next town over, my other friend wants a drive to this town to get laid by female.

I figure the two of them go off somewhere to fuck and I drink dr. p at my buddys bitchn bachelor pad.

and what ends up happening is one of our most amusing adventures.

We pick up the chick, shes alright.

Ive fucked worse

But shes a...6 maybe 7. She was always complaining to my buddy about her boyfriend.

Yet she would no break up with him, whatever I did not think much of it.

But based on the conversation we had at my buddies pad (again, a thousand apologizes for brining that female there)

It sounded like she was pregnant. Because in my mind, hell even to this day, a woman at that age is not going to be that comitted to a male for any other reason but I do not remember why

Gents, women aged 18 - 35 (aka young adults) really require little stimulation to cheat, the trick is to apply the correct stimulation.

And if you are smart go for single ones, they are easier. ie: girls in 4th year at a mostly female school.

I had a glorious first year btw

But I have grown sarcastic and cynical in my old age and turns out perhaps the reason was my buddy was giving her the attention and respect that her boyfriend wasnt.

sigh

This relates so fucking much to what I see wrong with my buddies relationships

and its not always the guy neglecting the girl or whatever

and I am not sure why this is like it in sexual relationships

I have literally gone weeks, months even without talking to some of my close friends and when we do talk nothing has changed.

Why does it have to change in a relationship, why does one party expect to be contacted every day.

Seriously. Why does this change, for long distance shit its important

but I have literally not seen some of my flight college buddies IN YEARS

and I will say hello if i notice them online, or tease them about a facebook thing or something, but doing that with a girlfriend is a taboo.

Who fucking knows, this sounds like more of a girly thing but its an interesting thing, and perhaps its just between opposite sexes

either that or girls like talking to their friends all the fucking time and not talking doesnt make males respect their friends anyless?

and another thing, when a girl complains to guys about significant others does it mean they want the guy to fix it or replace him?

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I guess this is too much

I guess I never answered the question clearly.

TOO MUCH IS WHEN YOU ARE UNABLE TO TRUST THE OTHER IN A RELATIONSHIP

There I said it.

Love is not enough, as much as romance and chick flicks would have you believe it is enough it is not.
So the but I love her man excuse is only good if you change it to but I trust her man.

Trust trumps love, why am I friends with my friends? because I fucking trust them, and many of them have been around longer than any girlfriend I have had and probably will ever have because there is trust.

We forgive each other for being fucks because we never violate trust. The big difference is not sexual desire but how we order our priorities.

With friends and family, you value trust then love. With sexual relationships love seems to come before trust.

Mostly because saying the l-bomb is a very easy way to get into womens pants. Let me challenge you gents to something, do not say you love a girl until you trust her 100%, and it would be almost impossible to change that. It does not matter when sex happens, could be before, after, marriage, never I really dont give a fuck but dont tell a girl you love her until you trust her no matter what, hell even wait until after that. Dont be throwing that word around it means more than affection. It should be a combination of trust, respect and in the case of wives and girlfriends lust.

Sarcastic/Comedic uses of the word are exempt from this

Speaking of love I should mention that relationship a few posts back about my buddy and his long distance girlfriend.

Sounds like all they did was hang out and have sex, they are still not official on fb
and to be honest, I dont want to ask him about it because I have a feeling that after my fava beans and liver recipe he may actually start reading this shit.

a) They broke up, and hes depressed as hell over it
b) They didnt break up

if a its pretty fucking obvious why I do not want to bring it up. If b, I certainly hope that both parties are planning on making the effort to communicate more.

But I have a feeling its neither, because hell nobody does the unpleasant thing. Thats why its unpleasant.

But all she needs to do is dart her eyes, talk in a higher pitched adorable sounding voice and get naked and he forgets the whole reason for seeing her.

I have a feeling thats exactly what happened, they were just happy to be together, and I suppose there is nothing wrong with that but did he answer the question what next?

Because of work and shit I am not around him enough to get a feel for if they solved the problem or not

If so I hope he gets in, he is happier with her around and I hope she doesnt fuck it up.
If you read this (which I hope to god you dont)
You may have gotten one of the last decent males on the planet. DONT FUCK IT UP.

Now to community, it had some redemption...then the last episode I turned it off immediately.

Abed is slowly changing and maturing, kinda forced to by another character but the end result of this is an amusing chemistry between them.

Jeff has come back to being the better jeff and duncan is being developed more as a character.

THIS IS FUCKING FANTASTIC

Annie and Hickey had a wonderful on screen time, hopefully this is not taken away by Hickey and another character however I am feeling that Shirley has been put on the back burner this season.

Typically community will have a storying involving 2 characters interacting in a strange manner and the other part of the study group doing something else, then eventually breaking down into pairs.

This season the group is made of
Jeff, Britta, Abed, Shirley, Annie, Duncan, Chang, Hickey and Pelton (on occasion)

They have had amusing guest stars, this season and I wish they could kept them longer but Fillion has that crime comedy show he does all the time...

Do you see the problem though? 9. So there will always be one character who is not involved, this season im seeing a little less of the dean which makes me kind of sad, but it makes sense in a school environment, the principal or dean always seems to be inaccessible and not seen often.

But chang seems to always be off doing his own silly thing, and that works.

And we are still left with an odd number, and I feel Shirley has been shafted this season. Oh well, it looked like this was going to change in an episode.

Infact Jeff calls out shirley manipulating the study group by pretending to be sad and adorable, I was so fucking stoaked.

But it really does not take much to make the girls 'awe'

They are pretty easy to push in a direction if you know how to it seems. The show seemed to be a parody of the hunger games it seems, but I wouldnt relate it to that, but there was a rebellion, and upper class ruling (lead by Shirley it seemed, and a rebellion lead by britta)

surprsie, surprise. It had its moments but I dont remember it being as awesome or funny as the lava world, or the previous one, studies in male gender or some shit like that.

It did not have that much character development from what I saw, and you know what? In typical community fashion THEY ALL PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED.

Maybe this is supposed to be part of the meta humour, lampshading events and what have you.

But seriously, BRITTA SHOULD BE BROKEN

And the short time we have Shirley and Jeff together they only acknowedge that they both have alot in common and should be better friends but they are not.

Thats it? THATS FUCKING IT SHOW?

I feel that this show is going to go downhill, its becoming less funny which is fine, but it is also not using the characters chemistry as best as they could and the stopped the developing and growing up of the characters it seems.

THE BIG BANG THEORY IS ALWAYS FUNNY AND DEVELOPS ITS CHARACTERS.

The big bang theory is a better written show. There I have said it. Community you need to show me better than one awesome and two shit, which is the pattern of episodes that I am seeing.

Now, it has been brought to my attention that lately I may have been going to far

and no, its not by anyone you would think.

They are probably right, normally I (Ian) only attacks the DECISIONS of others, not the person. MARK on the other hang chose to be an asshole and attacked the person.

We signed a contract, I am the devil you are the angel. Do not make me file a grievance on your ass

That being said, there is alot of things I should not have wrote about a month and a half ago (goes to show you how much people read this shit) and Im sorry.

No, im not going to edit it. What has been said has been said. changing the post wont change the fact that I wrote it. I am sorry for attacking the person, it probably wont happen again. Definitly will not happen to the person in question, everyone else however danno, we will see how things go.

Interestingly enough there is several females I know who fall into almost the exact same boat, and I think they all think it is about them.

Which I find fucking hilarious but if it makes you feel any better I was not about you (you know who you are) I think you are truly committed to your significant other (and I lack pics to prove otherwise, so I will go with the assumption that you are)

Monday, March 10, 2014

How much is too much?

So my buddies girlfriend cheated on him.

Surprise, fucking surprise.

He forgave her.

Fuck. Surprise fucking surprise.

I hear alot of bullshit about why people cheat, hell Ive made up some excellent reasons myself. Infact I have posted a list of reason why people cheat...and I dont think I ever posted any remedies for that...should get on that, no matter.

The one I hear the most is the 'l' word.

Love

I love her man

LOVE IS NOT TRUST

And there is definitely a lack of trust after cheating happens. You cannot love without trust, so to my komrade I ask this

How much do you trust her now?

Are you going to be asking yourself (or me via drunken text messages) if she is being true anytime that you are not around her?

If this does happen, even once break if off man. You will go crazy, you will be a shitty boyfriend and the relationship will go down hill faster. If you cant trust, then dont bother trying.

The problem is at our age (21-29) it really does not take much stimulation for people to cheat, gender aside.

There is alot going on in our lives at this point, a pre life crisis if you will (Tanks brah, you know who you are who coined that term)

Some of us are working on getting out of our parents houses and starting lives of our own, careers, jobs, school new friends and coworkers and relationships.

It is a very difficult, stressful time and sometimes it is too much to handle, so you cheat as a way to get away from your responsibility even for only a short time and just do something you are not supposed to, something irresponsible because you can and you are getting tired of responsibility.

I get that

This is NOT an excuse for going back on a comittment, a promise YOUR WORD AND FUCKING HONOUR AS A HUMAN BEING.

If you are unable to stay committed in a relationship then end it. It is not fair to the other party

However my old man would suggest that unless you are married then there is no incentive to stay committed.

Normally I agree with him, but I think in this case he is full of shit. THE PERSON YOU DATE WILL BE SOMEONES HUSBAND OR WIFE SOMETIME, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOUR HUSBAND AND WIFE WAS CHEATED ON IN A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

Exactly.

Now, I am not innocent of this crap. Hell at least half my previous relationships I was cheated on, then in turn cheated on several following ones. Its a cycle, and the problem is no one seems to be willing to be the better human being and stop fucking around. All it takes is to not be in a relationship, or if your not happy fix it somehow.

What bugs me now is seeing my friends investing alot into these girls. Now I only hear their side but what I see is the girls not reciprocating this investment, it is like a few of the chicks I have had before who refuse to suck my cock, but expect me to eat them out.

IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY, THERE MUST BE GIVE AND TAKE, AND COMPROMISE AND OH MY SWEET FUCK WHY DOES IT SEEM THAT GENERALLY AS A GENERATION WE TREAT OUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS LIKE SHIT

brb, work