Wednesday, July 10, 2013

THATS NOT KINKY ITS CALLED DOMESTIC FUCKING ABUSE

And tonight I honnestly wanted to indulge in some...

This is Mark by the way, not the bullshit personna  that I put on to normally write this. I cant make this shit up. I was out drinking with an ex girlfriend (yes yes I know Iknow shut up) we are decent friends, she was drinking with her friend who is a new mom and oh my fuck do her tits show it. They were both kinda buzzed, very social and fun and we drove to a local gas station to get more booze.

I wasnt drinking tonight, wasnt feeling it. They picked up fireball. Bad Idea, very very bad idea and they drank more. The ex called er quits earlier, had enough to drink and wanted to be useful later today...her friend drank more and more. Then started making out with her! It was fucking great, my penis was so confused, here is a hot blond and a hot (fake) redhead making out infront of me. However one was my ex the other one was dumb as a fucking post.

Moving on, the friend started dancing and taking off her clothes, My ex (thinking it was funny) told her that I wanted a lapdance.

nice try, but the friend went over and gave my ex a lapdance and started trying to make out with her again!

...I was seeing almost rape...Im not sure how I feel about this.

anyway she feels it nesscary to sit on my lap while she speaks to her boyfriend.

Im not sure what the look was on my face (id imagine what hte fuck) but my ex was loosing her shit.

Anyway all good things must end so the ex went to bed and told me to take care of her friend who kept calling her boyfriend and saying these things.

Hey do you want me to go to daves and you pick me up
(repeat 3 times)
Hey Im going to bed
(repeat 3 times)
Good night I love you

and she did this...every 5 minutes for 2 fucking hours. and his voicemails got more and more angry because she was not listening or hearing what he was saying which was

you are a fucking stupid cunt
your drunk go to bed
im going to bed
no i do not have a girl over
get your fucking act together
start thinking, your dumb when your drunk

pick one of these phrases and its what he responded with anytime she left him a voice message

After some coarsing (and the fact that I think she would have fucked me) I got her to drink some water and into bed.

Miss ex, next time we go drinking, no hard stuff, and not this friend

Saturday, July 6, 2013

New Pussy

There will come a day when you will wake up and want to have sex. But not want to have sex with anyone you can have sex with at the moment.

Ah yes my friend, this is the worst kind of horniness where you will fuck just about anyone (whichever way you swing) just because its someone new and different.

I would strongly advise against this if you are in any form of relationship because this will kill it faster than any other person. If you cheat with someone logical, you can make you point and perhaps save the relationship. This is being done out of boredom and as I have mentioned before boredom kills relationships.

So how can you fuck someone you SHOULD be fucking and make it exciting? You are asking the right person.

New location - Beds are nice, cars are not bad (personally Im not much of a fan of cars, not enough room to be fun) however the chance of getting caught or being seen by someone else is a bit of a thrill. So choose a place where there could be some risk of getting in trouble, you both will enjoy the rush.
Perhaps just fuck somewhere you have no fucked before, it could be anything from a different room to a beach (lay towels down) whatever.

New way - missionary style gets the job done, but why not try different positions? The key to this is the better shape and more flexible you are the more you will be able to do. You do not even need to change location.

Dress up - I do not mean furry like, I mean what would get you hard and her wet like. For example she could be a french maid. Maybe she wants to see you in a suit.

Play games - kinda relates to dress up, but you could play doctor, or be a businessman and she be a secretary

Perhaps the simplest of all video tape yourselves. Put it on the internet or watch it and see what you could improve or if it makes you want to have sex again. If it doesnt, both of you have work to do.

There is no shame in getting inspirations from pornography, but if you want to keep your relationship successful and not boring, start in bed and go from there.