Tuesday, October 23, 2012

fucking opposite day

Today, I will take a rare stance and defend women. Fuck my life, Id better get some sweet tasting ass for this shit, For anyone who gives enough of a fuck to read this, you will notice a trend. I tend to rant and rave about women and relationships, superficially things that PISS ME THE FUCK OFF. Usually women doing stupid things, for example asking to cheat on their boyfriends, then when the boyfriend sarcastically responds they immediately think they are cheating on them (you know who you are, and after telling me what she did last weekend you should have broke up with her and chased after long legged brunettes with confidence issues you fucking nob) Speaking of confidence issues I have a very serious question, which I believe has been asked before but seriously WOMEN WHY DO YOU WASTE TIME WITH FUCKING USELESS INDIVIDUALS (male or female) because here is what happens, you get hurt, you dont trust people in relationships leading to a BAD relationship (trust is FUCKING ESSENTIAL) leading to THE CREATION OF MORE USELESS INDIVIDUALS who date women who then end up in a bad relationship AND THE FUCKING CYCLE CONTINUES. Here are some fucking solutions, girls, are you reading this? No? Right, if you have somewhere between 1 and 2 ovaries and breast and 1 vagina like entity on your body I deem you a cumdumpster and you dont read this. Funny how things work. 1) DONT DATE DICKS (or for men DONT DATE BITCHES) if people were more careful with who they chose to date (with the assumption that you MUST marry the person someday or this person WILL be someones husband/wife) then you will treat the person better and make it work, and if it doesnt you will break up on good terms. No Dick or bitch created YAY CRISIS AVERTED! 2) DONT BE A DICK (or for women DONT BE A BITCH) this goes back to the assumption that you will MARRY the person you are with, that is the purpose of dating after all and if you dont marry them SOMEONE ELSE WILL how the fuck would you feel if your wife/husband was treated like shit? Exactly. so DONT TREAT THE WOMAN/MAN YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH LIKE SHIT actually you know what, if you just go into a relationship following those two rules or with the assumption that the individual will be your spouse or someone else's spouse then all the problems could be averted. 3) DEAL WITH IT Break ups suck, no need to be bitter (even if it is deserved) if you find youself on the shitty end of a break up, dont become a dick/bitch over it. You will only ruin your next relationship, and possibly your next significant other. YOU OWE IT TO HUMANITY TO NOT DO THAT 4) LEAVE THE PAST IN THE FUCKING PAST Kinda like dealing with a bad break up, except DO NOT LET A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP DICTATE HOW THIS ONE WILL GO. Just fucking go with it make it work be respectful If you cannot leave the past in the past, it will come up in the present and guess what? You become a dick, she becomes a bitch and it happens all over again exactly like before. Congrats, you have made 2 unpleasant individuals and have ruined humanity, please never date again. But I have finally taken a stand on who to blame for the failures in relationships today. Fucking women. It seem to me that men are a bit more picky with what they want out of a relationship if they are looking towards the future, and less picky in the short run. Women seem to be more picky in the short run. FOR EXAMPLE: How fucking difficult is it to pick up bitches at a bar, you see them. The whore train, looking at all the men, evaluating how they hold themselves, dress, who they are talking to and what they drink to determine if they are a guy with a future. And at some point they fuck a guy, one night only one night stand, a guy who they have determined has a future as a doctor, then goes and dates some dick who made them feel loved for about the first 5 minutes where the fucking doctor was stunned when a woman grabbed his ass and asked him to dance that he was hardly able to get the word yes out of his fucking mouth. I am going to resurrect my university survival guide project. There shall be an entire chapter dealing with the apparent mind of the young woman. If I am wrong, dont fucking tell me. If I am wrong fucking prove it I go out an drink, I have observed the dynamic of how dating works today. FUCK I DID A FUCKING RESEARCH PAPER ON HOW DJing HAS AFFECED DATING (through dancing) Perhaps the problem is the random hook ups, if women and men did not go out to get fucked but go out to meed new people and just have a good time everyone would be happier. Lets face it, you go out expecting to pick up and you dont, you become a buzz kill for the night and everyone around you. Please go home and fap(or shlick) or go to a strip club before you go home. Then cry yourself to sleep for being a failure. OR Dont expect to pick up, meet some decent women (and some slutty ones because lets face it, they are unavoidable) have some fucking coffee and eventually have some sober lunch break fuck in the office bathroom and start a fun relationship with a decent person.