Monday, July 19, 2010

Women: In Cumberland County

Amherst:
Act like whores and get knocked up

Springhill:
Act like whores but kinda suck in bed (good at head though)

Parsburrow:
Act like whores, party all the time, put out well, dont give head (but want you to eat them out)

Oxford:
Act like whores, dont put out.

Pugwash:
Act like whores, put out, and good at all

that is all

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Plan

I am going to get a bottle of old spice body wash.
I am going to video tape myself showering in an intense storm
using old spice body wash, and send it to the old spice guy to see if i have his approval. who's with me?
You know what?
I just realized that I fucking love women
Personality? What in the sweet fuck, im shallower than that
I like the tits, the ass, curvature the sheer beauty of them.
But thats not the point, I guess the point is that I have decided to take up writing again,
its been a while and I have had my fill of borderlands for the time being.
I have gone through my writing folder and realized that I have like 20 ideas that are started but not quite finished yet.
Heh, should keep me amused for a while...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Twilight

You know what? the idea of vampires, werewolves and humans falling in love with each other is an intersting one. It would be like a metaphor for people opposed of interracial marriage, but now its inter species.
Would that even fucking work?
Okay, so they are all more or less human, with the not so human having super human powers.
I can deal with that
So why in the fuck did twilight fumble this idea so badly?
simple, instead of catering to vampire-fags, werewolf-fags, you know people who like that shit, goth ect.
they catered to women, aged 14-30
mind you, that is a bigger crowd and WILL make a profit, so if it was done just to make money, good on the writer and movie makers
but i know thats not why it was done, the writer basically wrote her wet dream, as is every womans dream, to be fought over by many men with super human powers.
Fucks sakes women are shallow.
Anyways moving on, I have a better idea for this shit.
Vampires - who act like vampires
Vampires - who are pansies who do not drink human blood and therefore have to hold back the urge to tear people to pieces and are slight weaker than their human blood sucking relatives
Werewolves - who are actually werewolves, you know the half-wolf half man kinda shit, not one or the other
Hunters - humans who hunt (successfully) werewolves and vampires
and finally Vampires, Werewolves and humans fighting other vampires werewolves and humans with modern military equipment.
BUT
some of them are using swords and riding dragons.
Thats right, a vampire on a dragon against a human in a fighter jet
and werewolves jumping from fighter jet to fighter jet using samuari swords to slice through the wing before jumping off onto another one.

But enough of the violence and action, lets get back to the point here.

The love story:
if a love story can be described with a geometric shape, then its fucking stupid.
Ever hear of true fucking love nimrods?
where one man loves one woman
where yes other men and women can lust after these people, but basically it wont fucking matter.
Christ, and women get pissed of at me when i cheat, and its their fantasy to cheat with meny men? bitches, fuck off.
How about some interspecies relationships?
Human and Vampire - fuck yes
Human and Werewolf - fuck yes
Werewolf and Vampire - ohmygodwhatthefuckareyouthinking

So there will be basically 6 major characters
Human Male
Human Female
Werewolf Male
Werewolf Female
Vampire Male
Vampire Female

are they all going to be connected, yes of course
these are the heroes of the story, you know, the good guys?
homosexuality? not in this one, that will be saved for another story.
Well maybe, why not some hot lesbian werewolf on vampire action?
Too much? maybe so but why not actually write a story about
SHIT REAL PEOPLE HAVE TO DEAL WITH
homosexuality and interractial relationships are a reality
and yet they are still subject to prejustice, but why?
who the fuck cares, but lets let the extremes fight it out, with a small group of people willing to accept and comprimise for peace.
but the will ultimately kick the shit out of everyone else
now thats a fucking story

Friday, July 2, 2010

Booze, Pot and Gunpowder

Well, let me tell you about my 1st of July.
It started with a dream, a dream that my flight instructor sent me a talon message (presumably while drunk) telling me that the alcohol and parting was too much for her and she would not be able to fly.
Well instead she showed up drunk (or half drunk from the previous night)
I can smell the booze cuntmongler, remember what my old job used to be. I know what alcohol smells like. She had blood shot eyes, and was drinking Sunny D, and chewing cinamon gum. CIGARETTES AND CINAMON DO NOT COVER UP THE SMELL OF ALCOHOL!
Well, it would seem. also, she got a cab to her friends house with a guy that goes to the school.

...

FUCK

allright, moving on. Her mother was pissed off at her when she had to bring shoes and lunch for my instructor. I can take some amusement in that. Oh, Did I mention she was flying as PIC (mind you she did shit all, half passed out for most of the flight) I was flying.

Now onto the evening, I knew shit was going down in amherst and moncton. So I decided to go to moncton in search of explosion and drunk pilots (much to the dissapoint of the people in amherst, guys when you read this you will know why)

So I get to the board walk and start walking towards downtown mocton, with no real plan in mind. I just hoped that something would happen, as luck would have it drunk cape breatoner had finally returned my phone call just as the fire works started and I began the long trek back to my car. It smelled of booze, pot and gunpowder and he asked for mix. I got him his mix and drove to the house he was at, he was at the nearby esso. When there, they encounter longboard, and grab him and throw him into the car.

TO THE O2!

So we get there, they owe me money
50 for the booze ! (if you asked, for the booze i would have given you the JD (which backwards spells DJ, coincidence, I think not) but keep away from the voldka. I told you I was keeping the alcohol there, and i hardly ever drink and if i do, it will be there.
You also owe me 25 dollars for the booze and cover
and as for longboard who owes me 20 dollars for the loan, because he was too lazy to use the bank at that time.

Now at the O2, they have a stage set up outside, a DJ was on from 12-2 before that it was bands, it was fucking packed and all I could smell was booze and gunpowder. (at the fireworks earlier was where I smelled the pot) the security was pretty good here, they didnt let any contraband in.
Now, inside the O2 complex (i see why its called that) you pay like 5something cover and you get into the O2, the palace and the manhattan. 3 clubs, all with booze, music and chicks, for the price of 1?!?!?!
Awesome. Maybe they only did that because it was canada day. Either was it was a blast where I told the drunk capebreatoner that the more women me 'macked on' (made out with) the more points he would get.
I am an asshole, well atleast he is single.
He claims 7, I can verify atleast 3.
I also encounter a girl who called me patriotic (she got her boyfriend to take the picture of us) she was wearing only a canada flag like a short skirted, low cut dress.
Fucking Awesome
And the entire night (on my part) was spent going between the various DJ's and dancefloors, watching my drunk friends strut their stuff.
Designated drive? Highly amusing. Could the drunk capebreatoner have picked up? yes, but he didnt :( his roommate (ninja girl from an earlier post) would have fucking killed us.
We went out into the street to piss (because we were too lazy to wait in line) one of my crew pissed in the middle of main street, the other times they went behind a building. I had to go with them to make sure they made it back to the O2.
Another time, the drunk capebreatoner pissed infront of a window at downtown subway, infront of 3 girls.
Fucking a,
there are somethings money cant buy, like you being the DD and drunk pilots
but for everything else, there is mastercard.

Hell of a night, got home @ 4, I am tired and sore right now after being on my feet all day yesterday and going for 22 hours, So I am going to spend the day relaxing.