Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Its been one week

since I last made a post here
well you will never fucking guess what
thats right, nothing noteworthy happened.
Got some flights in, the air was as smooth as a shaven vagina, and the flight as good as sex with a virgin.
So calm winds, clear skies, it was a really fun night and I didnt get lost!
Now onto a douchish thing I did
I bumped into a volswagon, accidentially.
While trying to dodge a truck a honda civic revered and gave a reverse love tap to a golf
no damage, and we werent douches about so yay for being nice :)
well we blew shit up in electronics and I was severely sleep deprived on thursday or friday
yeah thats about it

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Reproductive Weekend

5 day until friday, thank fucking god.
well, lets start at the begenning shall we?
Its friday, and im at dispatch, flying planes, killing time waiting for flights to be cancelled.
And then I get home at 3 am. Im pretty fucking tired so I treat myself to some cold pizza and late night futurama.
I go to sleep, and have some mighty fucked up dreams. MFC trains people in rotary wing only. Scarry.
Anyways, now the fun begins.
ITS SATURDAY! and I work.
So I wake up and kill time until about 1. When my sister gets home, I borrow her van and head in to get the sound equipment.
I come home, with time to kill yet again so I decide to see what music i need to download.
I plug in my external hard drive, and it doesnt work
For hours I tried to get it to work, and I think the power supply is shot. FUCK
well atleast if I can get the power fixed I can get the data off of it.
Anyways, its 2 hours before set up now and I am downloading like a fucking fiend
I have 433 songs at the dance, I am going to be relying heavily on requests.
I search up the bare essentials, songs that will be played and songs I need.
I get them and off to the races.
Its no 6pm, I lug in my stuff and set it up.
It is 7pm...I start at 9
Fuck Im bored
Anyways, fast forward to 9pm, the dance starts.
There was 133 people confirmed for this, 110 tickets sold with another 70 sold at the door.
It was packed, it was hot
and those fuck tards gave me a fog machine hahaahhahahahahahaha!
What a briallant idea :)
The fog, the lights, the bass, the alcohol
There was drunken, promiscuous women, dressed provocatively.
I have this game I like to play its called "thats not your boyfriend/girlfriend"
referencing to people dancing with others on the dance floor, people who they are not fucking
this game changed to
That was not who you were dancing with 5 minutes ago (and still not your boyfriend/girlfriend)
you are not making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend
that is not who you were making out with 5 minutes ago (still not the boyfriend/girlfriend)
bigelows women really whored it up last night, and I am not surprised.
There is a reputation that they have developed from previous parties of being complete sluts it seems
Have I told you how much I love my job?
Anyway, the story does not end there. I had a few drinks (2 to be exact, rum and coke and a voldka lime, and a sip of voldka redbull at the begenning of the night)
so I clean up, have some pizza/garlic fingers at the after party and venture off to my former work place, the pub.
Guess what fuckers, I get free cover and cheap drinks.
I love life :)
Anyways I go there and meet some of my former co-workers.
They seem happy to see me (they dont see me often so its nice)
The first thing that one of them does is pounces on me (promiscuous, provocatively, pouncing) I fucking love alteration. and starts making out with me,
It was her birthday, maybe birthday sex was in order...
there goes my new years resolution of being more monogimous.
anyways she then shoves me into her glorious h cups
I fucking love my job
Makes out with me more, and lets me get a drink.
I dont fucking know what scooter gave me, but he gave me my shot of JD, and thats all that mattered :)
Had another sip of a new drink
So far this makes 3 mixed drinks, 2 sips, 1 shot...so maybe 4.5 drinks...over a peroid of 8 hours
I have to fly later, i dont want to get impared.
Anyways I head back to bigelow for a few minutes for some much needed mario kart, then I head home.
all in all, a pretty good fucking weekend. I have been asked to do another dance at the end of february and another dace sometime (possibly)
Also, a note to all women A DJ will play your song if you: make out with him/her, hanjob, blowjob, promise of sex after. For the men and women, bring the DJ a drink, your song will get played.
Also, on a side note, i am getting ripped so I can DJ shirtless/pantsless/underwearless because its really fucking hot behind sound equipment. That is all.

-The Asshole of the Generic Nature

Friday, January 15, 2010


...and I just came in my pants.
Well, today was school...hell of a drive.
Class was class, our electronics teacher continues his crusade of being a bigger dick than the rest of us, which is amazing.
Played with electricity, the Ginger tried numerous times to zap myself and the french fuck.
Oh and I had my life threatened by Gingers new roommate.
Oh, I met their new room mate, I am going to call her ninja girl (for her threats to kill me and ninjas were assassins)
I should point out that I may or may not have laied on the horn at their house, which hypotehically may have woken her up.
I am going to fucking kill that guy
those were the first words she said to me.
Well its said that many good relationships are based on lies and deception, since that is where they usually end up, it seems to be a logical place to start.
Maybe violence and blind hatred will work as well, and even if it doesnt, fuck it, it will be interesting either way.
So now, everytime I see that red headed fuck, I have to be on the watch out for projectile shoes, shurikens and frying pans
so I will need to study my enemy and know her weakness, so i can defeat her...
what the fuck am i going on about?
Right, flying.
So flights tonight, becaue fucking sexy wants me to fly her around with a blindfold on.
heh, sounds like alot of fun actually ;)
I was supposed to have a long one with her (a flight!) and the ceiling is dropping like a rock so it wont happen.
and right now I need to make arrangements with the fairer sex before a fucking purse comes out my mouth, the ammount of faggotry (literally, like the act of acting homosexual) has been really hight in my corner of the room...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Fucking Faggots

Its been a long stretch of days
and basically nothing amusing has happened in any of them
Class, flight...lack of sleep
Finally, today shit happened. Shit thats funny and worth noting!
Well first of all, there is class, where our instructor is a bigger prick than we are and it just terrible the things that happen.
First of all, a war
2 classmates were having a paper ball fight, and between them stood the generic asshole, the french fuck and ginger. So they are throwing shit at each other (out of rage the redhead attacked the quebecker from time to time)
This went on all afternoon, just fireing paper balls everywhere, either our teacher doesnt care or finds it amusing. He must know though.
Anyways, about the title, the homosexual quotient of our class was terrible today.
We were all acting gay, and not just a little, like fucking flaming. Ginger was touching my leg lovingly today, and to be fair, it kinda scared me.
I was also constantly saying " was it good for you " to about everything they did, impling homosexuality.
Also, we were doing alot of talking and texting in the class...to each other...
yeah, thats pretty fucking gay (considering the girl to guy ratio is 2 to 18)
its a fucking sausage fest.
One classmate was talking like he was from sanfransisco, and we spoke of AIDS
(Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome) so since we all have girlfriends, I have come to the realization that we are all going to marry these women
fuck the shit out of them
maybe reproduce (provided we dont ingest anymore glycol than we already have)
and then they cheat on us, and we cheat on them
as pilots we are away alot, so the wife/husband gets lonely
we get lonely
relationship goes to shit
people start cheating and drinking
and boom, this is why alcoholism and divorce rates are so high among pilots (i have yet to find any actual evidence that proves that statement) but i guess this is common knowledge.
Then, pilots get married again, and dont fuck up this relationship.
god, I hope this doesnt happen. The wife is the only thing preventing me from becoming more of a complete ass than i already am.
Oh, on a side note, we have a new nick name for our furry red friend (i am not sure if he shaves)
but because he was on his fucking mistral cycle, he bitched us out and threatened to kick our ass (funny because the french fuck grabbed a hold of his hand, and gave it a good crack) and incapicated it for a few seconds (maybe even minutes). also, there may or may not have been a nerf sword being swung out a hypothetical honda civic, at pilot of course. This sword may or may not have blocked an incomming snowball.
I felt like a fucking jedi after i pulled that shit off.
so long story short

Pilots acting like faggots
Paperball war between desks
AIDS sucks
The Generic Asshole DOES indeed have a soft spot for the fairer sex
New nickname for Ginger
The Generic Asshole pulls off a fucking Jedi move

Monday, January 11, 2010

Update, assholes

Well its monday now
and I guess its time for a rant...
I fucking hate 2/3 's of the instructors I have had
Well, no, not really they are descent people I think, its just that one cant communicate, the other cant start a damn plane (neither could I, but I didnt fuck up)
Anyways, first off, my former instructor, let us call them cuntmongler, cuntmongler had a tendency to NOT SHOW UP FOR MY FLIGHTS. in cuntmonglers defence, the weather was crap but the least cuntmongler could have done was FUCKING CALL ME SO I DONT HAVE TO FUCKING DRIVE AN HOUR IN SHIT, RISK MY LIFE FOR A FLIGHT THAT DOESTN EVEN GO WHEELS UP. This happened atleast 2 times, possibly 3. The first time it happened I sent her 3 text messages asking cuntmongler if it would go or not, cuntmongler told me to wait like the other students. FUCKING HELL CUNTMONGLER, I HAVE TO DRIVE IN THIS SHIT, I WANT TO KNOW IF IT WILL BE WORTH WHILE FOR ME TO SHOW UP. cuntmongler never cancelled flights, never called or texted me to tell me not to bother, so like a good goddammed student, i showed up, did my preflight and waited for cuntmonger, at which point cuntmongler would not show up.
now for, i am going to call her, fuckingsexy
seriously, i want to strip her down an fuck the shit out of my current instructor
anyway, fuckingsexy just overprimed an plane, primed it 16 times (i believe 7 is too much)
but besides that, shes pretty cool. I had anotehr instructor in there, for the sake of keeping his identity secret, we will call him newf, and he was just fucking awesome.
Thats pretty much it for the instructors
Now for some general douchbaggerty
Fun thing to do 1) yell "smoking kills" as you pass by a smoker
2) if a guy is revveing his engine (to show off to prostitots) revve the engine of your small 4 cylander inline japanese car to piss him off.

now, for a new section (because these two pricks hold a special place in my dick)

seriously, we are the fucking 3 stooges, and what would the 3 stooges be without one of them? fucking faggots, thats what. and what is 1 stooge? a fucking idiot, so there must be 3. This section will be written by my komrades in wings the Ginger...spice and the french fuck.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Before you complain

Yes, the post last night was late, maybe even technically on saturday morning.
Most of you can agree that it is no the end of the day until you have fallen asleep, by that rationalle, I have ended a 'friday' or 'saturday' night at 8 in the fucking morning. I used to DJ full time, but I no longer, because of lets just call it a difference of opinion about why I was fired. My old work place is now failing hardcore, they are not even making the money to survive, I give them another 2 years top before they call no joy. But do you know what REALLY sucks about it, its not the fault of my employers that this place sucks huge sperm whale dick. Its the administration higher up, they designed a new place for them and it sucks ass, inefficient and useless.They do not have the capacity or speed they used to have, and the students have to suffer now, seeing as there is no proper dance club at this school. I suppose you douchbags want to know how and why I was fired.
Well, a bouncer screwed up, and let an underager into the bar. Since this guy was a friend of mine, the bouncer said he was with me, and he was not. That gay fuck was too busy trying to get laid to noice people just walking in and out, because of his incompentence I was fired from a place that was going to shit faster than last nights pizza. heh, maybe I should thank him.

Its friday

...and normally I will be out with the boys, doing amuseing things
Yelling at people, waving nerf swords, and pretending to be storm troopers and jedi
but not tonight, first of all, girlfriends, my crew needs some shore leave, pussies.
Second, I just got home from school and I must say that after flying old cessnas again, I dont think I can go back to new.
Its like this, an old cessna is a well trained horse, one who will obey your every command, and do so with such skill and flow that you think you are one with it.
The new cessna is like a ravaging bronco, lots of power, bawls and speed but hard to control.
To be honnest, the old cessnas are 600lb heavier than the new ones, I was at full tanks with myself and my instructor (almost 400lbs total) and I were almost in the utility category. Almost, something ridiculously close. (im talking less than 50lbs) where in the new cessna I would have to go up with half tanks and fly for a while before achieveing this.
Old cessna,not fucking nose heavy, infact not heavy at all on the controls. The new cessna handles like its a much larger plane, with less speed and performance. Dont get me wrong, its a damn good plane, but in the words of my friend james "why fix what isnt broken?" the old cessna is a solid design, one being used for over 30 years (infact some aircraft are even that old) and still flying. the trouble with a new design is you introduce new problems. The S type 172 is not like a N type, where the N type was to correct problems with the M type. The S type is the 'best' possible plane design that cessna could make. Its heavier and faster, the old one had a better balance of speed, control and weight, where the new one it seems has alot of weight, difficulity to control and high speed. I can fly in a straight line, for a long time.
Which is great, but I want something that I can make dance through the sky.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Welcome, fuckers

For anyone out there who can be bothered to read this shit, I promise that I will insult you...less. For those of you who will not read it, well fuck you, you dont matter.
I am the Generic Asshole, otherwise known as Askopa (learn some fucking greek), Gloadiator (hey traptastic), MarkGloadeias (have a shot for me will), Gloade (all the cadets and numerous people in school, thank you for making my life less miserable than it could have been) also, my former air cadet squardon, to those of you below the rank of flight seargent, you guys fucking rock and made that shit hole alot of fun. For those above that rank, I fucking hated you for what you put me through, but the past is past, Wholewheat (thank you Matt Graham and Josh McNeil, who proclaimed this, it fucking stuck), Little Crane (dont ask, but I thank my father for that one) and thats about it, oh right, and Mark.
A little about me
other than that I am a prick I enjoy DJing, Video Games, Flying, Friends, Friends Mothers, Driving and being and being a douche, causing either amusement or rage, depending on what night you get me.
I went to university for 2 years,
hated the school
loved the women
loved the booze
so they kicked me out.
Now I am at another school, doing something I love :), your mother =D.
Well I dont know what else to tell you, check out the links here and read. You may just learn something useful.