Monday, July 18, 2016

DJ Drifters guide to (failiing at) clubbing

You know, when guys ask for a song so they can pick up chicks I always play it

I dont fucking know why.

Saturday, I started the night gloriously. Saw a guy I knew, had a girl to guy ratio of roughly 10:1. It was great, the ladies were dressed well. Not provocatively, only one was showing off the midriff and the others certainly knew how to dance.

It was a slow night, I pretty much played any request and mixing mashing cutting etc I allowed to be sloppy sometimes.

Now, a guy, he comes up and asks for the same thing every time: play more black music.

Ok, so I throw on some old school hip hop/rap. He says he needs this to pick up chicks and they are really going at this point.

AND THIS TWAT LOITERS AT THE BAR LIKE A FUCKING RAPIST

sigh.

I dont claim to be good at picking up women at the bar, and the show keys to the vip is a bunch of bullshit, good for a laugh.

A good way to NOT pick up women: be alone.

Women go to the bar in a group, and so should men. So my rule guys go out in a group, make it look like you are there for a good time and hanging out with your friends. It makes you look less creepy.

Rule 2: dance, but do not out dance the women.

When this guy finally got onto the floor, it was to the bad touch by the bloodhound gang, he was doing flips and shit.

Impressive

But no girl was walking up to him to dance, in fact the girl he was hoping for (the last single lookjing one in the bar) asked for my name at the end of the night and not his, thank you for giving it to her Denise you are attractive and awesome and your husband is probably crazy.

A new fan, excellent. Brunette, glasses...Im noticing a fucking trend.

Now some people say show up late, seal the deal just before closing etc

I dont quite believe that, it makes you look like you are just there to pick up women.

There are women who are there to do what you do, in fact I would dare say most of the ones who were there last night were there for that reason and left because of the lack of dick floating around.

When the best looking thing in the bar is the DJ, its not the best thing for straight ladies.

The first two who were dancing where totally looking for some guy to dance with, or talk to or something, and left when the only men were interested in lurking at the bar or with their girlfriend/wife.

the other ones, totally down, into recent pop music, all above 6/10. Gents, you missed out, this was the night you all would kill for when you go out.


No comments:

Post a Comment