Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Blogging from the phone: redux

Well I'm going to try this again

Here's some background I'm at the shop because the Honda cirvix is loud and not holding a charge.

Like my most recent ex actually

Anyway, I'm starting to hate sleep. I used to love it dreams were a blast.

Now they are either terrorifying or unpleasant.

get out of my head woman.

Good fuck I would love a dreamless night


I thought I had something interesting to talk about, but I suppose not. Interestingly enough my friend told me I was being paid less than the other dj.

He failed to mention the other dj is working the night's that are twice as long as mine, 5 hours vs 3


You lied to me, again just like you lied about the once or twice a month and just like quiet nights

Good thing I love this gig and you

Wait I remember now, also I flaked out on my hot friend from Moncton on Saturday

Sigh, her boyfriend is a lucky man


like literally, I need to go for an hour to get off. I can't fap, I can't fuck without it taking up a large part of my day

The lady digs it, but still


Sorry burn and mill. It will probably be one of yours

Sunday, October 25, 2015

at one point, 1/3 of my dancefloor was exes

I think the title deserves some contex

There was only 3 on the dancefloor, the blonde (ex) and her two (hotter) brunette friends.


Fatties tonight? Hell no

Cleevage? More than my body had room for.

I got my ass grabbed (by a man)

Frequent fliers, Cowboy and Minimilf you two ask for the same songs every week, Ill try to drop them when I see you coming up, actually a good night my set was spot on and I only missed 2 requests (because I did not have them, whatever)

I teased my ex saying I didnt remember her, she actually took me seriously. WTF

We swam together for about 10 years, Im probaby not going to forget who you are


Her friend found it hilarious, probably should have been kinder, oh well.

Still funny

I recognized a lot of people tonight, all from highschool and guess what



Matt told me that playing closing time at closing time was cliche

I told him I know, thats exactly why I did it.

I love my job/hobby

Saturday, October 24, 2015


Have you ever been watching a hentai, and suddenly about half way through, unexpectedly it becomes tentacle porn?

I did, it was weird. I love tentacle porn but I wasnt in the mood for it


Now onto the silliness of djing. Disclaimer I DJ at a small town and used to DJ at a small university, so yea, everyone does know everyone else.

I suspect if you go back far enough I will tell enough stories about the university stuff, thank cock that it is less silly now.

Maybe because I am so much older and younger (at the same time) as many of the patrons.

Among the usual suspects are the younger sister of a girl I was in cadets with (BTW that girl was stupid hot)

Fun fact: my old air cadet squadron used to be mostly women, and if the officers were any indication, pretty attractive women. Pilots license and ladies, fuck yeah

Every week she asks if I remember her, of course I remember her. My friends had/have a tendency to go for women younger than them, so they were always dating a 9er or some shit.

Not sure why. BTW you guys are fucked, go for milfs for fucks sakes.

and several of my friends were interested in her, weather they admit it or not.

Another common one is my ex girlfriends father. To his credit he has become less old and creepy in the last few weeks and actually isnt scaring away women and actually is going for women closeish to his age.

In fact last week he was chatting up/dancing with a woman in her mid 30s at minimum, who was significantly hotter than his milftastic previous.

Kudos mang

And forgive me for sounding racist, a couple of black guys. They ask for black music, always out drinking and dancing so to the best of my knowledge of old rap and hip hop I indulge them

Thank you, you all give me purpose.

I see a couple of other odd ones I knew from highschool (or earlier) they havent come up to me to make a request yet, so I cant be fucking up that bad.

Last week was the first quiet week I ever had. I hated it, I need to bring a better game this week and get the place packed

Otherwise my awesome (and hot) manager may (and probably will successfully) kick my ass

I have only had one chick (fat, blonde, white dress) try and make out with me. So far I am doing a pretty good job and avoiding it, I dont do that game anymore. I suspect it will be unavoidable new years eve...no matter.

I hope she wasnt a bride

One regular(ish) girl is appreciative of the requests, so hugs and kisses on the cheek are rewarded.

That isnt so bad, was a time I would prefer booze but I need to drive home

Also my drive is loud as shit, missing muffler. Fuck sakes I sound like a ricer now.

and finally there are droves of familiar looking females. Generally I remember the guys, I feel like I probably went to school with them somewhere sometime but I dont remember any names.

My old roommate suggested that I learn their names, make them more human as opposed to objectifying women


Ill do that when I dont feel like slab of meat up there.

Now, for the DJs prayer

Dear God,

Please let me not fuck up
(And let them enjoy my music and come out and play)

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The one that got away

I feel like I may have been giving some poor advice lately,
mostly because honestly I did not have an answer. Today I would like to talk about the one who got away, for those of you who do not have one, skip a little ways, Im sure there will be something else down there eventually.

There is a girl that just sticks with you, once in a while she will creep into your thoughts, more often into your dreams.

I used to tell my friends to move on, and let that shit go. It was not healthy for them or their relationship on the virtue that previous relationships should have no effect on current. See some previous post.

I suppose that isnt the worst advice but it really does not help them, its almost like how soldiers used to be told to man up as a way to deal with combat fatigue (PTSD)

Here is something useful to say instead

Its ok.

That is such a powerful statement, and I know, sometimes it isnt ok but in those cases its probably best to just listen,

It okay, it tells the person that these are normal thoughts. If they want to push through them or push them out of their minds that is up to them, but maybe they should do something else.

Enjoy them while they last

There is nothing wrong with reflecting on a better time, it lets you know what you did right and perhaps how to apply it to now. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a fantasy or dream where things happened differently.

It becomes wrong if you indulge this too much, but that is a slightly different story

It is good to go through these not with force, loud music or trying not to think of it, just let it go where it will. You may find out some interesting things about yourself and about that girl/relationship that made it so good.

I have to be honest I am having a hard time clicking the publish button, because I still do not know if this is right

This morning I woke up, with my morning wood, as usual. I was not sure if I should fap to some porn, think about a certain girl, or remember some really good sex/seductions in my life.

This is the time that she would creep into my head, and I would usually try my best to get her out of there, then I decided that it was ok.

It was ok that I wished that things worked out, that she was still probably beautiful and if I had the chance I probably would, again knowing what I know now.

And you know what, just like that she was gone allowing me to turn on some porn in peace and get off before I get off to my morning run.

Maybe Ive just finally grown up a bit, who knows. Now I think its ok to think about her, despite the fuck ups that were made maybe it time to just be ok with it. There is nothing that can be done now, no amount of rage, desire or lust will change how I fucked up.

I like the results, it lets me focus on more important things, such as rachel starr.

Now for those of you who skipped that because they dont have one that got away, they either dont take any risks or they caught her.

Fuck you by the way

You know who you are you luck fucks

Lets talk about its ok, it came up earlier. It is a powerful statement, you are validating that what people are acting and how they are feeling is normal, combine it with some kind of physical touch and you have shown that they have your support.

Now lets talk about the bitches

What, really, do women want? Now if you have to ask this question you are probably not getting laid on a regular basis or you do not have a girlfriend, because honestly if you had one of those you should not give a fat flying fuck about what women want, you know it but you dont know you know it you know what i mean? probably not, but you do.

Girl in their late teens/early twenties usually have  some ideal idea of a relationship, prince charming and all that nonesense, but as they go from 18 to 19...19 to 20 they become aware of how hot they are, then decide that for the early to mid 20s that they want more sexual relationships and finally as they get into their mid to late twenties then they want something a little more settled.

Interestingly enough this is also, generally how things apply to the bar scene, early on its party hard, then they ease up for a bit.

Men seem to be opposite, around the early 20s men just want to fuck, then upon realizing what a dick they were to women, or getting bored of being with a different girl they decide to settle down a bit

In all three cases there is a dont give a fuck level beyond the final state, usually brought on by a shitty break up or mid life. This is where you have 40 year olds behaving like they are in their early twenties.

There was a guy, let us call him D-WAYNE, and he was maccing on a girl, actually reasonably close to his age and (I never thought I would say this) younger and better looking that his milftastic now ex wife.

I really was hoping that he would get some ass in crotch, but alas there was none to be had.

Oh, right this is new I guess Im properly a DJ again, I suppose you guys want to hear any funny stories from that shit, its not as crazy as it was