Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Having an old friend for dinner

Tonight I would like to share with you one of my favourite recipes. This is perfect after a long day at work dealing with crazy clients, a secretary that does not share the same taste as you do and people who just do not understand how you think.
A day where you want to kill those around you and skin them.
Liver and Caramelized Onions, fava beans and a nice Chianti

For the liver you will need

1 1/2 tsp vegetable oil
1 1/4 cup sliced onions (about 3)
1/4 bay leaf
1/8 tsp granulated sugar
1/8 tsp dried sage
1/8 tsp salt
1 tbsp 
1 1/2 tsp butter
1 tbsp all-purpose flour
1/8 tsp pepper
1/4 lb liver

For the fava beans you will need

Water (boiled and tap)
Salt
Ice
1lb of fresh fava beans in pod
1/2 tbsp of butter
1/2 tsp olive oil
1 garlic clove
freshly ground peper

Preparation
Start with shelling the beans  from the fava pods.


Then for the liver in large skillet, heat oil over medium-low heat; cook onions, bay leaf, sugar, sage and pinch of the salt, stirring occasionally, for 25 minutes or until caramelized and reduced to about 1 cup (250 mL). 

While you wait for the onions you continue the fava beans

In a large saucepan bring water to a boil and add salt. You will want to make your water like seawater very salty.

In a bowl combine tap water and ice and set aside. Do not forget to check on your onions.

Add the shelled fava beans to the boiling water and cook for 3 minutes. Remove them and immediately plunge into the ice water to stop cooking.  Let the beans cool and peel the outter skin from them.
Over medium heat in a skillet melt together the butter and oilive oil

Add the garlic and saute for 2 minute

Add the peels fava beans and saute for 5 to 7 minutes.

Your onions should be nearing completeion

Stir in wine; cook, scraping up bottom, for 1 minute or until absorbed. Discard bay leaf. Transfer to bowl; keep warm. I reccmond Pasqua Villa Borghetti Valpolicella Classic from Veneto Italy. I find that a red wine clashes less with the taste of liver where a white wine makes it too fruity and sweet. This is dinner, not a dessert.

Wipe out skillet; melt butter over medium-high heat. Combine flour, pepper and remaining salt. Dredge liver in flour mixture to coat, shaking off excess; cook, in batches if necessary and turning once, for 2 to 4 minutes or until browned yet still slightly pink inside. Transfer to plate; cover with onions.

For those of you who get the refernce, good on you. KAS this is for you.

I pulled the recipe for the liver from here:
http://www.canadianliving.com/food/quick_and_easy/liver_and_caramelized_onions.php

and the fava beans from here:
http://www.food.com/recipe/gabriel-s-sauteed-fava-beans-117520

The REBOUND

Did you know that for a time I was almost called DJ Rebound?

Probably because at the time my taste in women was still GOD FUCKING AWFUL

Anyway rebounds are important. Not just rebound fucks just going out and proving that you are still desirable to what you desire.

Does not have to be sex, it could just be a few successful dates

Does not have to be long term, could be only a few times.

Whatever.

This is more important for men then women I will say because women seem to be attracted to confidence. And women lacking confidence tend to have an 'easy mark' target on them which does not usually help with the cycle of bad relationships.

Perhaps there would be less shitty relationships if people had more rebounds. That way they know they still have it and they know where the wrong happened and its not repeated, otherwise without a rebound people just pine for the one they lost.

Its over, get over it.

Now for those of you who end a relationship to begin it again, fine.

You still need a rebound in there, even if its the same woman. I CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH CONFIDENCE IS FUCKING ESSENTIAL IN A RELATIONSHIP

Now, time for the cunts not knowing when to shut the fuck up (aka vagina dialogues)

Surprising (to me) it was not that bad and didnt make me hate women more.

I feel that some of the topics are very dated, and alot of the topics are feminist bullshit.

You know, women basically being the source of all their problems but blaming men.

What I mean by that is they dont make a problem, they create an illusion to themselves that there is a problem, you see it with feminist all the time. They are constantly on the defensive when they dont need to be resulting in people thinking they are crazy.

It really is like bible thumpers, people who just spout a belief without questioning why they believe, what they believe and what it all means.

But that has very little to do with the vagina monologues, because it really only came up...maybe once. The idea of the vagina monologues is to get women to be comfortable with their vagina and themselves. It is supposed to be empowering, and it doesnt do a half bad job at it. Some of the topics are a little dated at this point, but a woman should watch the vagina monologues and come out saying I am woman, I have vagina and this is okay.

...what is really concerning though is the fact that they needed to be told this.

Dont get me started on the transgender things, I had friends who changed gender and are now no longer my friend because they person they were is gone, they have changed physically and mentally. I dont know anything about who they are now.

one final thought

"I thought women did not like being thought of only as reproductive organs?" - LAR

They usually dont lar, but dont say that around the vagina monologues, or else it may become feministic and turn something not bad into shit.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Girls for real this time

Alright.

You remember my second last blog about feminazis, well I have more fodder for fuel for feminists.

My buddies relationships are in an...awkward place right now, and they aptly called it a pre-life crisis.

I am in a similar spot, where you dont know where you are going to go, or how you are going to do but you know what you are going to do.

And for these gentlemen, their female companionship is kinda important to this plan.

Like they think they will be less happy without them. Go figure.

I have your back gents, and I promised not to mention these to those soggy vaginas you call girlfriends

HOWEVER

I will rant about it here, because frankly it pisses me off and its not fair to you.

We will go with the lessor of the evils first.

Girls. If you want to go out, and not be around your boyfriend just fucking tell us. Do not lie to us, because what if

Now imagine this, and stay with me.

Your boyfriend is out at a bar with his buddies (like he said he was going to do) and you show up and avoid eye contact with him.

Now what if he goes up to the bar where you are at, does the boyfriendy things and comes back to his buddies and says

"I think she is mad that she got caught"

ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS HE WAS TEXTING YOU AND SAID WHAT BAR THAT HE WAS CHILLING AT IN CASE YOU WANTED TO COME OUT FOR A DRINK.

Are you that fucking STUPID.

All you had to do was send him a text "im going out with my girls to duckys, have a good night"

the phrase 'my girls' triggers something in the male mind: chick night, she doesnt want me around

And then the indication that I got from this was you were not happy to see him, and then you both proceeded to not talk to eachother again the whole night.

You, cunt, are a buzzkill. Perhaps that is why the night went downhill for him after that.

NOW onto the other one. Im pretty sure she doesnt read this blog. I am going to be bluntly, unapologetically, hostile and hateful.

You have been warned.

You can still turn back.

Maybe I wont be such a dick, but if she reads this she may get upset because this is not Ian, this is not satire this is pure rage and what a dumb fucking cunt I think you are being.

Last chance.

Seriously, stop.

Fine, here we go.

I understand that long distance relationships are tough. To my friend I seriously understand how it feels to wake up and not have the will to live more than you know. Thankfully for different reasons however.

I have been in a spot where I do not put forth enough effort into relationships, and they end poorly. This is my fault, but girls, I am a pilot first and that is probably going to come first forever. We pilots are a rare breed, this isnt a job for us its a passion.

Girl, I understand that you are putting alot of effort into what you are doing, its taking up alot of your time. If you are unable to make time for your boyfriend then you are doing it wrong. You seriously need to get some time management skills.

MY BEST FRIEND NEARLY STRESSED HIMSELF INTO A HEART ATTACK AND DIABEATUS BECAUSE OF HIS POST SECONDARY EDUCATION BECAUSE IT WAS TOO MUCH WORK AND NOT ENOUGH RECREATION.

You will loose your mind if all you do is work,

but Im not convinced that you are doing work. Someone does not deactivate facebook because its a distraction. Someone deactivated facebook to avoid dealing with someone or something.

If you do no have the strength of will to resit distraction when you work, then get the fuck out of your field and back to the kitchen.

I think you fucked up, and you are trying to keep it on the down low until you can figure out a way to deal with it.

While at the same time you are driving the man you 'love' to depression and insanity.

You do not even make an effort to communicate with him.

In my experience (and trust me I have way more than you do young lady)

When I dont communicate with someone, its because I dont want to talk to them

Probably because I fucked up and I do not want to deal with something.

ARE WE NOTICING A FUCKING THEME HERE OR DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT.

I

do

not

care

if

you

fucked

up

I do care about my buddy. You need to make it clear what you expect from this relationship.

AND DO NOT GIVE HIM THE OPEN RELATIONSHIP BULLSHIT

The way it was explained to me

you would still be boyfriend/girlfriend
however you could fuck who you want
no attachments
and no communication

IM SORRY THAT WOULD MAKE YOU A BOOTYCALL

You fucked up.

Im not saying you cheated on him or not. Im saying you fucked up, you fucked up with him.

If you thought things were not going to work, you should have ended it a long time ago, that way when you are through your childish pre life crisis whore bullshit you would have the option to make a life with him.

NOW, the way things are going you guys are going to break up, he is going to try and make it clean and have no hatred but I suspect that will not work.

BECAUSE YOU ARE A FUCKING WOMAN

AND by being a woman you expect the man to be committed to you, communicate with you ect

BUT IT BECOMES ALL ABOUT YOU

YOU ARE FUCKING WRONG, THERE MUST BE AN EQUAL EFFORT ON BOTH PARTIES.

AND IT SEEMS TO ME THAT GIRLS MORE OFTEN THAN NOT DO NOT PUT FORTH AN EFFORT IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP.

If I am not putting forth an effort you were bad in bed, boring, or Im just not interested that way.

BUT GIRLS YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PUT FORTH AN EFFORT, BE MAD WHEN HE DOESNT TEXT YOU YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL NEGLECTED.

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO NEGLECT SOMEONE THEY CLAIM TO CARE ABOUT.

It will not be clean, it will not be pleasant and it has gone on for far too long. BOTH OF YOU

Think about how you want this relationship to progress, and when you decide to break up

a) stay broken up. I fucking hate this on again off again bullshit

b) do not dive into a relationship immediately after. SEX ONLY

c) if you decide to get back together after such time as I am convinced that you are not a slut, I will not talk my buddy out of it.

I cant believe how pissed off I am at this. I have seen it before from both sides, the neglector and neglected. It does not need to happen this way. I wish I never did it, stuff like that is the reason I am the way I am and trust me you do not want to be like me.

TV shows and girls

First of all I want to tell you all about my favourite TV shows

Community, Banshee, Hell on Wheels

Okay, so the Holmes show and Top Gear are in there as well but those are informative, not entertaining.

Hell on Wheels, a brief premise

Lincoln is dead, and the only way to unite north and south is a railway running east and west.
While unlike Banshee and Game of Thrones it stays away from an overabundance of nudity and sex. It does have wonderful western style gunplay and fighting, and our hero is a man of all talents seemingly but excels with a firearm, wearing a black duster and black cowboy hat. Straight up desperado kinda shit and I love it.

It has had 3 seasons so far, and has been renewed for a 4th longer season and rumour has it that the writers are going to more uncomfortable places. Which is scary considering what they have already done.

Like community it has had a change of showrunner but unlike community they have not returned. This is a good thing. If you fire a guy, keep him fired. It will keep the show consistent, on the other hand they should not have fired the guys because I feel season 3 would have turned out vastly different. But still awesome.

It has excellent characters, excellent writing and its a fucking western. Worth a watch

Banshee

A nameless man drives into town, becomes the sheriff and dispenses his own brand of justice motivated to stay because of an ex lover.

This show has a shit tonne of fighting and sex, in fact there is usually major brawls and steamy fuck scenes atleast once per episode. The main character, a nameless man who is sheriff dispenses his own brand of justice and reguarly breaks any rule and fucks EVERY ATTRACTIVE FEMALE IN TOWN

He gets ALL the ass, the show has excellent bromance between the main characters old and new friend, even between the series antagonist and the protagonist have a wonderful bromance. Characters are also well written and we learn more about them with every episode. The main characters were explored thoroughly in the first season and now in its second season we are exploring the supporting characters and watching the ones we know change. There is no shortage of badass and sexy in the show for men and women. It has been renewed for a 3rd season halfway through its second. It is literally the best show you have never seen on TV, with a fantastic fanatic fanbase.

Community

A spanish study group does everything but.

Its a sitcom, and it competes with the big bang theory. The fact that its alive is nothing short of a miracle.
It suffered from brilliant, pop culture references and meta humour its first 2 seasons. Then in season 3 the characters became cardboard cutouts, with minimal depth instead focusing more on humour.

Then they fired the showrunner in season 4 which lead to the show taking a different direction in season 4 and started focusing on improving and developing the characters...as if they were slowly maturing and growing up.

They they brought back the original showrunner. He said he was not going to change the previous season, but they totally rip on the previous season saying a gas leak happened in the school which is why they all behaved differently.

God fucking damnit

YOU CANNOT STAY IN COMMUNITY COLLEGE FOREVER
YOU MUST GROW UP SOMEDAY
IT MAY HAVE BEEN A POORLY WRITTEN SEASON BUT THE WRITERS WERE TRYING TO TAKE THE SHOW OUT OF GREENDALE

There will be spoilers here. The thirdlast episode featured chevy chases (now dead) character fucking with his old study group through his will.

The study group is being forced into this because if they back out, they they are accused of murdering chevy chases character.

FUCKSAKES

I hated his character until the last season, he was bitter, racist and UNFUNNY. Not not funny and awakward, because not funny and awkward characters can be funny. HE WAS THE ANTI HUMOUR
And season 3 and 4 saw his character begin to change, be warmer and nicer and as a result a bit more funny and tolerable.

They chevy chase quit, then they killed him off.

THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT AT THAT Instead they give us another unfunny pierce episode, and use it as a means to write out another character who is quitting.

To focus on another show and his rapping career. Im sad to see Donald Glover leave, he is funny. The bro rape was a hilarious video when i was in university. However I think he functions better with others, Im not a fan of rap music so I dont know much about his musical career, and Im skeptical about his new show. He just wants to be the boss, he doesnt like taking orders or being told what to do. I hope that attitude doesnt make his new stuff shit.

They then had an episode like their paintball and pillow fort ones, where a silly childish game gets taken to seriously and too far by EVERYONE, except for one person usually.

And these are hilarious, in this episode a game of the floor is lava is funny when only on character isnt taking it seriously and everyone else is.

It charming because Abed is doing this to play this game indefinitly with Troy so that he does not leave. To him the floor is really lava because he is unable to deal with the fact that he may never see his best friend again.

What he then does is he intentionally quits the game by jumping on the floor. Then pretends to be dead.

PRETENDS TO BE DEAD

He then makes his friends be as childish as he is being in order to bring him back to life.

show, you had me until that moment. You could just have him let go of the ceiling and land on his feet, that enough is to symbolize his letting go of the overly childish nature of his character and letting his friend go on without him.

BUT HE HAD TO STILL BE CHILDISH AND FORCE EVERYONE TO LIVE IN THE WORLD HE FABRICATES BECAUSE HE IS UNABLE TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE AND REALITY

This episode just did nothing, ultimately Troy leaves and abed need to deal with that BUT ABED STILL SEEMS TO NOT NEED TO DEAL WITH REALITY

Maybe this is supposed to be the begenning where this season we focus on abed slowly coming to grips with reality, BUT SERIOUSLY HE PRETENDED TO BE DEAD UNTIL SOMEONE CLONED HIM.

No.

Fuck. That. Noise.

Sitcoms are supposed to be relateable and funny and sometimes ridiculous and the faking death to get out of having to deal with reality, its just too much.

THE SCENE WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS (if not more so) POWERFUL IF HE JUST JUMPED ONTO THE FLOOR AND WALKED AWAY LEAVING TROY AND BRITTA BY THEMSELVES. THEN BRITTA WOULD WALK AWAY AND TROY COULD BE SITTING THERE BYHIMSELF.

THEN CUT TO THE GOODBYE SCENE WHERE ITS TOUCHING AND SAD THIS EPISODE IS SUPPOSTED TO BE A DOWNER, BOTTOM LINE. TROY IS GOING SOMEWHERE WHERE HE CANNOT TAKE HIS FRIENDS, AND HE MAY NOT SEE THEM AGAIN EVER. HE CERTAINLY WILL NOT SEE THEM FOR A LONG TIME.

AND IT FEELS MORE SAD IF THE EPISODE WAS FUNNY AND UPBEAT THEN THE DROP THAT DEPRESSING SHIT ON US.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE NEXT WEEK? DO YOU KNOW WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED. NOTHING, THERE IS JUST NO TROY. BRITTA FUCKS WITH ABED (quite successfully)

Everyone else is planning a dance.

But Britta and Abed together make sense, and them not getting along makes sense. TROY SAID HE LOVED BRITTA IN THE PREVIOUS EPISODE, ABED LOST HIS BEST FRIEND.

Them feeling hostile to one another at the begenning of the episode makes sense. They are sad.

Then they start ripping off game of thrones jokes (which are 2 years too late) great job community writers. Those have reached meme status, which means they become unfunny a long time ago. But I appreciate the effort.

And the episode is all about britta spoiling game of throes for abed, because my fuck how often has that happened in real life to those who keep up with the series or read the books and onto those who havent.

On the plus side we see abed soul mate back in this episode from the last dance. They hang out, eat popcorn and watch a movie together.

Im very happy that happened. It makes sense seeing as abed doesnt have anymore anymore.

Community here is what you should do:

Britta hook up with Jeff because she is stupid, lonely and misses Troy.
Abed keep hooking up with coat check girl.
Annie and Shirley shenanigans

I like Annies relationship with Hickey, that is fucking fantastic.

Now from season 1, I was a huge britta and jeff supporter. However as of late I think he and Annie would be better together

HOWEVER

Jeff is better now than he was AND BRITTA IS MUCH, MUCH, MUCH CLOSER TO HIS AGE.

Jeff has to be atleast a decade (maybe more) older than Annie, and as much as he would enjoy it HE SHOULD NOT GO FOR IT.

I dont think Jeff and Britta should be a full time thing either, I think it just should be a stupid, not thinking thing

On the other hand Im talking about writing which would be dramatic, deep and not comedic. This is not community, community seems to value meta humour and pop culture references more than character development. And maybe this will change this season, maybe we will see some new character developments and some more chang being chang, more dean. I hope so, It had a wonderful 3 seasons and season 4 was not that awful. And so far I have one complaint about an episode and a shitty ending to an episode. Fuck the bitches, this has gone on long enough Ill talk about htat another time