Saturday, June 29, 2013

I should have stayed in Quebec

I should really write down the rules of the bro code.
Basically if you call someone a bro, bromance or invoke the bro code here are the rules one should follow.

I suppose this will be useful for women.
As a bro, I pledge

 to be your wingman to distract the bitchy or ugly females which may otherwise get in the way of a female you wish to talk to, fuck, marry, kill, date

to call the ex girlfriend of your recent relationship a cunt and be supportive

to not fuck, marry, kill or date an ex girlfriend without your prior consent

to give you a drive if you need one

to never let you drink alone

to bail you out of sticky situations

to take you to the hospital (however be able to call you a dumb-ass if you were foolish)

to watch your ass in the event of a fire fight, dogfight, auto combat, zombie apocalypse or world war

to kill you in the event you turn into a zombie, werewolf, vampire, possesed undead mother fucker. Without hesitation

and I will add more to that list as I think of them

Now, with regards to women...

How about I call these the rules of engagement because love is a battlefield or some shit like that
Honestly, I just like the metaphors.

Rule 0 - Know what you like
First, before everything else, you should know what you like in women

Rule 1 - Know what you are looking for
First you should know what you want this woman for (one night stand, booty call, girlfriend, mate, friend)

Rule 2 - Location
Certain types of women frequent certain places. A bar/party is usually a bad place to meet a mate or girlfriend

Rule 3 -Location, Location, Location
Choose venture to take the girl out that make sense and she will enjoy

Rule 4 - Everyone gets shot down once in a while
You will not always be successful, you will fail often, that does not mean you have my permission to stop trying

Rule 5 - Dont be boring or predictable
This will kill everything you have done faster than cheating on her

Rule 6 - Only one engagement at a time
This rule is flexible, however even in the event of a booty call or fuck buddy the girl likes to think that she is the only one.

Rule 7 - Expect double standards
and expect them to work against you. This is what feminist call 'equality' just work with it for now, eventually the girl will become more balanced and less bitchy

Rule 8 - Avoid Clingers
Clingers no matter what kind of relationship you go for always want to be your last. This could complicate things if they are not

Rule 9 - Avoid Virgins
Virgins can go one of a few ways, none of which are good for you. They could go complete slut which basically turns them into a booty call or they could want to be your last (see rule 8)

No comments:

Post a Comment