Friday, February 15, 2013

To the movies

Dealing with womenfolk will continue as I think of or discover things Now it is time for the movies Since twilight has ended (Possibly, Ive heard rumours that they may make more movies) Perhaps more movies is a good thing, exploring the actual plot and not 2 dimensional love story between 2 boring, unlikeable characters. THIS LIKELY DOES NOT CHANGE FROM THE NOVELS TO THE BOOKS. Also the leading lady (dont ask me to spell, I will fuck it up) I question her ability to act. But now, there is 2 movies that can potentially fill the void of twilightlessness Beautiful Creatures and Warm Hearts My friends think both look equally silly, chick flicky, ect. Gentlemen these are the types of movies you show a girl if you want her to fuck you like a pornstar in heat later that evening. I will review whatever movie I see (probability beautiful creatures) But here is what I know Beautiful Creatures, its about witches, and how all witches when they come of age must choose between the light and darkness. Now, does that mean they are good or evil? Fuck if I know, but lets look at this like the force. You can use the dark side of the force, but that does not make you evil (see any of the video games) And the dark side powers are always more useful in combat. The light side powers are useful for support. So about these witches, the girl must choose, but she meets a boy, she loves him. Because she loves him, she will be evil. Listen, I understand that love makes people do stupid fucking things BUT CAN WE PLEASE GET AWAY FROM THIS IDEA THAT LOVE IS EVIL. LOVE IS NOT EVIL, IT IS SELFLESSNESS IN ITS PUREST FUCKING FORM. IF YOU ARE WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR ONE PERSON, THAT IS USUALLY A GOOD THING. Love does not drive people to be evil, it drives them to be better. The idea of jedi not being allowed to love or fuck is a similar idea to monks or priest, it is a sign of dedication. NOT A SIGN OF FUCKING EVIL OR WEAKNESS. Anyways a 'dark' (and Im pretty sure evil) witch is trying to get her to be a dark witch because the main character is some prodigy (surprise, surprise) Thats about all I got from the trailers, but I can tell you how it is probably going to go. Main Character is either light or both, kicks the ass of the evil dark witch, and movie ends with her kissing the leading male. I may be wrong about the alignment, but im fairly confident on the last 2. There also appears to be magic battles, perhaps those could be fun to watch, but I have a feeling they may be like the 'epic fight scene' at the end of twilight. You know who you are who told me this, I will never forgive you. That is what I dont like about chick flicks (romantic-anything) they are usually predictable, like horror movies, but atleast in horror movies you dont know how people are going to get gutted. If you can look at your watch and guess how far you are into the movie, you can predict it. This probably goes for just about any movie, but if I enjoy it I dont give a fuck. This could be a trilogy of movies, in which case the simple plot of what side do I choose, should I stay with him or not, and shitty climatic battle will be drawn out over 2 more movies which I will be dragged to because this dick doesnt fuck itself. The second (and better choice in my opinion) is Warm Bodies This is a zombie flick (Because zombies are not being over done lately, books, movies, games, tv shows, it seems to have gotten worse in the last 5 years) The main character is a zombie, the trailers suggest that alot of this is seen from his perspective and therefore his dialogue is voiced over, what he is thinking. Anyway, he sees this blond (ITS ALWAYS FUCKING BLONDS, HOLLYWOOD I DEMAND MORE REDHEADS) and instead of killing her, he saves her. Love at first sight, more like down to fuck. Anyways as they hang out (he is an undead stalker basically) Love resurrects him, and resurrects other zombies. Why is this more tolerable, there is 2 types of zombies, undead corpses and ghouls from fallout (basically) The ghouls are the enemies of everyone, and there appears to be gunfights, and humour. Why this is not tolerable, love does not conquer all. YOU CANNOT MAKE A DECOMPOSING CORPSE ALIVE AGAIN NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE IT. Good god it is immoral to fuck a corpse. I think that is actually what my friend doesnt like about it, love is making zombies hearts beat again and make them human again, SHIT IS FALLING OFF AND ROTTING OFF, LOVE CANNOT FIX THAT. But you know what, I have seen alot of silly movies, and illogical movies and one thing remains the same. Movies and video games are not for logic or realism, they are for entertainment. If the movie is entertaining and funny, I can overlook(somewhat) this huge flaw. So I guess, Id rather see warm bodies, it looks like it could be funny, and there is gunplay. But impossibly illogical, demons from hell would be better (You know what Im talking about) Beautiful Creatures, love story, choosing between good and evil and if you choose love you are evil, yeah Im probabily not going to enjoy it, but who knows, maybe these films will surprise me.

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