Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Ménage à trois, Moncton Adventures, Magic Cards and virgins

Hell of a day yesterday. I suppose you want the title explained, so it is best to start from the begenning.

Two days ago I rescued my friend from Moncton, well yesterday was his girlfriends birthday so he asked me if I could drive him up to see her. I dropped him off at her res and I suggested that he ask her if she wanted to go to gamezilla with us. He either had a quicke with her, finger banged her or made out with her because it does not take 20 minutes to give her a gift. She came down, so I guess she was interested in gamezilla so off we went. Into game zilla where I encountered 2 lost amherstians looking for the main EB Games. After trying on some silly hats and admiring the comic books and other geeky things in the store we left and venture to EB games ourself. The girl of course went into the nearby beauty store with little success, they were closing. So after looking at some games (pokemon in particular) we left and started speaking of sex shops. This eventually lead to them saying "fuck it, generic asshole, lets go to sister sarahs, we have never been there before" so we went, and the set up was quite questionable and sketchy. Unfortunely it was closed, so we went to X-citement instead. Now this is where the Ménage à trois comes in. You see three of us, 2 guys and 1 girl entering a sex shop, checking out dicks, dildoes and various lubricants and play things.
The games they had are what intrigued me the most, but I digress
After this, the only logical thing to do was get some McDicks then head home.
Well after the lady was dropped off my friend and I were rather bored (I think they wanted me to go to Angies with them, but we will save that for another time) so we called up our friend in sackville and played, possibly the most dramatic, game of magic that I had ever seen or been a part of (Ok, so it was my 3rd game)
Well so far with a deck randomly put together of black and reds I have 2 wins and 1 loss. So time to cut the fat and make the deck a bit more useable (over 120 cards, its difficult to get the ones you want, but I never lack mana).

Now about the Virgins, this came from a discussion that I had with my friend, the guy I went to moncton with I do believe. Maybe it was someone else, no matter. But let me make this clear

TAKING SOMEONE'S V CARD IS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME
First of all, they dont know how to fuck, and they dont know how to play
As you know, I love foreplay, fucking around, sex, well I guess its that manditory shit that you have to do when the bitch says fuck me. (Or in the case of year one, shut up and fuck me. Sorry Georgia and Martin)
Again, that story is something you are better off knowing, it seemed like a good idea at the time...
Anyways, next point, Virigns USUALLY BECOME QUITE CLINGY
Which is weird, that means most virgins end up marrying the person they first had sex with, or had a messy break up leading them to be whores and just using men (or women) as sex objects.
I admire those people
Speaking of sex objects, thats how I feel right about now.
Yeah, I am a womanizing bastard, but now I think all women really want me for is my dick. Its less effort on their part because unlike a dildoe, I move myself and capeable of changing posistions and surprises, using other tools, toys or parts of my body ect ect ect.
Virgins == Tight Vaginas
True most of the time, but you know what? women can do exercies to maintain the virginal tightness that they had, and they have more mileage on their vagina then I have on my honda civic.
So, heres what you do, you get yourself a mature woman, with tits because tits are always relevant, and ass (balance men, you need both), who has some experience with sex. There is nothing better than couples suprising one another and actually ENJOYING sex, not getting pleasure out of it, but actually like having sex with each other beyond a this physically feels good thing. A woman you like hanging out with, where sex is not the reason you go see her. Keep the balance of cling (ie you fucking miss the bitch but you dont latch on like a parasite).
Christ, I have described my perfect woman here, if you fit this description you can e-mail me at:
thegenericasshole@fuckoff.ca
So Virgins, not that great (unless you legitimately like them and are not going after them because you want their V card. So if you like them, giver tits)
Oh, to Audry and Ryan what you have is good and I admire that.

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